Learning Curve
Rated ADULT
Sexual Content
Jim/Blair, Xander/Spike
Chapters 13- 15
Chapter 13
Xander followed Spike into the kitchen, a stupid grin on his face that was so totally going to make Willow go all cringy, and yet he just couldn't care. His butt still tingled nicely from the second half of his spanking, and he was so pleasantly exhausted that he didn't care about cringiness or crankiness.
"Mornin' ladies, and gentleman because I do not in any way shape or form imply that Giles is a lady. That would be disturbing," Xander offered the group already gathered in the large room. They'd actually taken out the formal parlor to make the mondo kitchen, leaving them with just a den, a library and a sitting room, and Xander wondered why the British needed so many rooms to pretty much do nothing, but no way could he figure out that mystery of life without caffeine.
"Morning," Buffy said as she held out a cup. "Or evening." And that was not a happy Buffy voice.
Xander looked at her even as he ignored the way Willow frowned. Buffy had her back to him as she tended something meatlike and burning on the stove, but she didn't look like she was going to take it off soon, and she had that special stuffiness in her voice that comes from crying... or trying hard not to. Yep, the happy-happy joy-joy feelings were continuing.
"We found some information relevant to the Slanom demon," Giles said, right to business, but Buffy didn't even turn around to join the conversation as she poked at the helpless meat.
"Ya better have found a way to kill the bugger without needin' help from a Shaman," Spike said as he leaned back against a counter and crossed his arms.
"Yes, well no matter what type of Shaman Xander is, his skills clearly focus on finding the danger, not eliminating it. Willow has managed a tracking spell which should provide any necessary tracking."
"Xander?" Willow called softly as she stepped forward. Xander watched as she stepped close, her eyes focused on his wrists. "Oh goddess. What did Spike do to you?"
Xander looked down and spotted the red marks pressed into his flesh. Shit. Xander froze, and out of the corner of his eye, he watched Spike's eyebrow go up. Okay, he could do this.
Giving Willow his best goofy smile, Xander shrugged. "Hey, let's make a deal. You don't bring up things like, oh, me having marks from leather cuffs, and I won't bring up the teddy bear collection, you know, the one that includes the teddy in the naughty outfit that Kennedy bought you and that you still keep under your bed," Xander suggested hopefully.
Willow blinked several times before blushing a nice deep red. "I don't-- I mean..."
"Exactly. Some things are not worth discussing, which is why I'm voting for a big old no-discussion rule about my sex life," Xander pointed out as he headed for the dining room. The baby slayers were already there along with a pile of pancakes that looked downright edible, so Xander guess that Yi and Kelly had made them before Buffy offered to help.
"And I would second that." Giles followed behind and dropped into a seat at the table. The pancakes were on the far end of the table, so Giles grabbed the plate with the bacon. Xander was guessing Buffy had helped with that because the strips looked a little charcoal briquette for his taste. Giles tried to maneuver one onto his plate, and the piece crumbled and a bit of it flew off toward Janie, landing in her hair.
"Oh dear, I apologize," Giles hurried to say.
"I totally don't mind getting burned meat thrown at me as long as we keep getting the good drama," she shrugged.
"No. No drama," Willow said seriously. "Just friends working things out."
Spike, still standing next to the door, snorted loudly. "Right then, time for all good little slayers to sod off," he suggested. Yi almost ran for the door, clearly happy to get out of the line of Scooby fire. The others quickly followed, some grabbing pieces of bread and shoving bacon and eggs between the slices before abandoning the dining room. Janie sat and watched without moving. Spike raised an eyebrow at her.
"I never even pretended to be good," she offered. Spike flashed into gameface and snarled.
"Geez, I'm going. You guys never let us in on the good dirt," she complained, grabbing her whole plate before leaving.
"Time for a few ground rules," Spike started as Buffy came back into the room with a plate of sausages. Xander grabbed several from the plate and shoved them in his mouth. When Spike looked over at him, clearly expecting him to say something, Xander just smiled around the mouth full of burnt pork.
"Ground rules. I can do ground rules. Ground rule the first is that you don't get to tell Xander what to do," Willow started with her best not-backing-down face.
"Oh goody, the fun has started already. I'll get the antacid," Buffy said as she turned and headed back into the kitchen.
"Me?" Spike asked indignantly. Oi, you lot go orderin' him around more than I ever dreamed of!"
"What? We don't do that. We don't! Do we?" Willow turned to Giles, but he just continued to poke at the breakfast with his fork.
"I do believe Buffy is more than a little upset this morning," he commented to no one in particular as the scrambled eggs he tried scooping from the bowl slowly oozed through the tines of his fork.
"You giving him orders, like he can't go out with us... that is... is... wrong!" Willow finally finished, but Xander could still hear all the very non-Willowy curse words bubbling just under the surface, straining to come out.
"I don't suppose you guys made up and decided to at least fake adult behavior for a while?" Buffy asked as she came back into the room with a large white pill bottle. She put it down on the table and Giles grabbed for it immediately.
"No chance of that, I fear," Giles said quietly.
"We don't tell Xander what to do, do we?" Willow demanded of Buffy. Buffy froze for a second, looking over at Xander in a way that made it very clear that she totally knew that Xander was follow-behind boy.
"We don't!" Willow protested. "We just want what's best for him, and I'm sorry Spike, but you telling him he can't leave the house... that's..."
"Very fifties," Buffy shrugged as she took the antacid bottle from Giles.
"Having lived through the fifties, I can safely say that the practice of keeping the spouse at home predates that era. However, I don't think this is a conversation we really need to be having right now. Right now, we have more serious concerns."
"We need to take down the Slanom and find whatever big bad pushed him through the portal," Buffy nodded. "I don't have time for the Spike and Xander show, or at least not the sexually inappropriate Spike and Xander show. So, Xander, I really need you to do the freaky follow-the-evil routine again only this time we need to find whatever big and slimy pushed him through the portal."
"What's the plan?" Spike asked, immediately turning to Buffy. The mood in the room shifted as mention of the latest apocalypty goodness distracted everyone. Putting his chin on his hand, Xander opened his Shamanic vision. Almost immediately, he blinked as Buffy's gold cord slammed against the constraints of her body, whipping wildly and blinking like Christmas tree lights on acid.
"Plan simple. Find. Fight. Kill." Through the cords that blurred the real world, Xander could see a faint impression of a very not-so-nice smile on Buffy's face.
"Can't kill a Slanom without the bloody sword of whoever, so unless you had one Fed-Ex'ed last night--"
"So we put the Slanom on the slay-wait list while we find whatever brought him here. If you and Giles are right, this thing didn't just wander over here on his own, so there's something out there that needs killing. So, Xander can find something with delusion of world-endage, and we stick big swords in it."
"That's your plan?" Spike's voice sounded caught between horror and laughter. Xander blinked the Shamanic vision away and saw his lover giving Buffy his best one-eyebrow-up look of disbelief.
"Find. Fight. Kill. You have to go with the classics," Buffy nodded.
"No bloody way. He's not going out without somethin' that sounds a little less likely to get us all fucking killed."
"I don't remember asking for your vote," Buffy snapped, her voice suddenly brittle and sounding way too much like old Buffy, like Buffy before Italy, like Buffy who still hated the world after being in heaven.
"Boy's not going out without my say so."
"He's not some housewife in a dress. He can make his own choices," Buffy snapped.
"Yeah," Willow added softly.
"Xander," Buffy started as she turned toward him. Xander realized his mouth was empty and grabbed for a plate. He got crunchy, slightly charcoaly bacon, but he shoved it in and started chewing. "You'll help, right?" she asked.
Xander stared over at her, chewing as he tried his best to make no head movements at all, nothing that could be taken as affirmative or negative.
"You're daft. You don't even bloody know how hard this rot is for him, and you'll risk his neck dragging him out without even a plan?" Spike snarled as he stood up. Buffy stood up at the same time. Giles grabbed for the antacid bottle.
"You're not exactly plan boy," Buffy snapped.
"I don't take stupid risks."
"Parent-teacher night."
"Had an escape plan, and I didn't take any more risks than I had to."
"I killed most of your minions."
"They were minions. Minions are around ta get staked. You're not gettin' Xander staked!" The two screamed at each other, standing nose to nose right behind Giles' chair.
"I'm not getting Xander staked. Who said I was getting Xander staked?! It's his choice if he wants to help, you know, the way he's been helping since long before you even came around."
Xander watched as Buffy's eyes darted toward him, and he grabbed for more food to shove in his mouth. He reached for the cold toast, hoping it would be just a little less disgusting, but Spike jerked the plate away from him at the last second.
"Hey, still hungry," Xander argued, but the glare Spike gave him made him pull back the hand he had used to reach for the bread before Spike grabbed it and used it to drag Xander off to the room for another lesson. Not that he would mind another lesson. Another lesson would be fun, as opposed to watching Spike and Buffy scream at each other, which was making the whole place feel weirdly like the Harris household.
"There you go telling Xander what to do. Not very friend-like," Willow interjected.
"Good lord," Giles sighed. Xander just looked at the bacon and wondered if it was worth the horrible taste just to have something to do with his mouth other than be forced to answer. Spike reached over and slid the plate of bacon away.
"You bloody well guilt him into doing whatever you lot want. He didn't want to go to Cascade, but he did because you sent him. At least he'll tell me 'no' if I push too hard. He'll bloody well let you lot push him into losing his soddin' mind before he'll tell you to stop."
"We wouldn't. We care about Xander, and we're looking out for him."
"By sendin' him round the deep end?" Spike demanded. Xander opened his mouth to protest, but really, he had been kinda deep endy lately.
"We don't have time for this," Buffy said tightly. "Xander, we need to find whoever brought the Slanom through the portal, and we need to find them quickly. Giles and I were talking, and if you focus on the feeling of wanting to take over the whole world... or maybe wanting to just watch the whole world go kabang... you could track down the one who opened the portal, and then the Slanom, okay, that will have to wait until we have the sword but then the slugs aren't exactly known for moving quickly, so that is totally slay-waitable. But if someone is opening portals and trying to end the world, that moves up to slay-now land."
"Buffy," Xander said as he looked up at her. She had such a hopeful expression, like when Anya would stare at him, hoping he would say yes to one of her hairbrained ideas, only her ideas tended to include sex and potential for public humiliation, and Buffy's was more about potential for painful death. Xander glanced over toward Spike, and the vampire was looking at him blankly, his face a mask of indifference. Xander suspected that if he used his Shamanic vision, he'd find that Spike wasn't nearly as calm as he looked. Xander took a deep breath before he answered. "Maybe if we have a better plan, one with less chance of me tripping over the demon half-blind and getting eaten--."
"You don't think I'd protect you?" Buffy's voice was whisper-soft, hurt, her eyes looking at him with that expression she'd had the day they demoted her to non-head slayer and turned to Faith. Only this time, Xander knew he was right. He just wished his guts weren't twisting and that the little voice in the back of his head wasn't demanding that he say something... anything... to make that expression go away.
"We both know you'd try, but ya don't have any idea how helpless he is when he uses the vision," Spike interrupted.
"We were protecting him back when you were still trying to eat him, buster," Willow said as she stood up and went to Buffy's side. Xander sank lower in the chair.
"Bloody hell. You don't get it, do ya?"
"You're twisting Xander's head around all wrong, and not with the literally because that would make him dead what with human heads not twisting around, and I know you wouldn't actually kill him, Spike, but this is... this is not right." Willow turned her eyes to Xander, begging him to stand with them. Xander started studying his thumbnail.
"Enough!" Giles shouted from his seat at the table. He brought his hands down, the palms slapping the solid wood. "Buffy, the plan is precipitous. We discussed that already this morning, and given the circumstances, I do understand your need for quick action, but Spike is--Spike is an overbearing ass who just happens to be right this time. Xander's abilities, whatever they happen to represent, do make him vulnerable in the field. Going into battle with an unknown enemy with an untested and untrained Shaman is not the wisest action."
"See?" Spike asked triumphantly, a smirk on his face. Giles finally stood and faced Spike.
"However, your sudden interest in Xander after he developed this supposed power is both suspicious and disturbing. If, as you claim, you care for Xander, you had ample time in which to develop a relationship before Xander went to Cascade. You did not. From what I can tell, you showed frustration, aggravation, and anger toward Xander, but you never once expressed interest. So, while I fully support Xander's choice because he is an adult who has the right to choose whomever he wishes as a lover, I am looking forward to the day when he finally sees that you are not a healthy or wise choice."
Xander flinched from the disapproval and then watched as Spike's smirk faded into something darker and more dangerous. He glared murder at Giles, but Giles simply turned to look at Xander. "This whole situation is difficult at best. However, let me assure you that whatever Shamanic powers you have, you need training, training that Spike cannot provide. I called a Shaman in France last night, and he is willing to take you as a pupil and evaluate your skills."
Xander opened his mouth to protest, but Giles held up his hand. "I am not trying to forcibly separate you and Spike, so the Shaman is also willing to accommodate Spike for however long your training may take, and I assure you that your sexual proclivities will not shock his sensibilities. However, I do also feel a need to point out that Spike is not the only person who can provide what you need, Xander. You are a strong, handsome young man, and many people share your sexual preferences. I can provide a list of safe clubs and organizations where you could meet any number of people, but I shall hang on to that list for you until such time as you ask for it."
"He's not going to ask for it," Spike snarled.
"Then it shall hurt no one if I simply carry it with me," Giles answered as he turned to calmly stare at Spike. Xander watched as Spike and Giles stood face to face, Buffy and Willow standing behind Giles. Chewing his lip, Xander stood up and walked around the table until he stood beside Spike, and Spike immediately moved, leaving space for Xander to step close and slip an arm around Spike's waist. Spike pulled him close.
"Xander's not stupid. He didn't choose me because he didn't have any better offers. Hell, boy was shagging the furry little Shaman back in Cascade."
"Xander... what?" Willow just about squeaked. "But I thought Blair and Jim--."
"Hell yeah, they shag so often it's hard to tell the smell of one from the other, but that doesn't mean the Sentinel wouldn't have been just as happy to have Xander warmin' their bed. He had choices, Rupes. He had choices, and he bloody well picked me."
"And I'm always going to pick Spike," Xander added softly, but he couldn't quite bring himself to look them all in the eye. He settled for staring at Giles' belt buckle. It was silver... and shiny. Shiny belt buckle. He wondered if Giles shined it.
"So, we're just going to sit around here and do nothing?" Buffy asked, her voice still brittle.
"There are some magical sources we could tap or research," Giles suggested. Buffy gave a frustrated little sob, and Xander looked up.
"Buff?" he asked, concerned by an expression that was way more than just disappointed or frustrated, and Xander didn't think Buffy would be that worried about him, not worried enough to have that expression of imminent world-endage on her face.
Buffy chewed her lip.
"Riley's missing," Willow said softly.
"Riley?" Xander looked from one to the other. Yeah, the soldier had kept in touch with them, but it wasn't exactly like he was a Scooby. Xander watched as Buffy paled and Willow blushed pink.
"Buffy and Riley had been, sorta working it out," Willow admitted with a guilty look over toward Buffy.
"Oi, the therapy. That's why you were going to the therapy, tryin' ta get your head turned around right when it came to the blokes," Spike said, the anger evaporated in a second.
"Therapy?" Xander demanded. "There was therapy involved? Why didn't I know about therapy? Better point, why does Spike know when I don't know? And why didn't I know about Riley?" Xander turned to Buffy, feeling the sharp point of rejection in his gut. Buffy at least had the grace to look embarrassed.
"I didn't even tell Willow about the therapy. It was supposed to be a secret," Buffy said as she glared at Spike.
"But you told Spike?" Willow asked in her hurt voice. Xander felt the sides shift. Strangely him and Willow versus Buffy didn't feel any better than her and Buffy versus him.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I needed to play show and tell. I couldn't exactly tell a therapist that I was a vampire slayer without ending up with a nice new wardrobe with long sleeves and buckles in the back."
"So, she dragged me along ta scare the bint with my big teeth."
"But Riley's missing now," Buffy said softly as she crossed her arms and suddenly looked impossibly small. "His unit was ordered to investigate what sounded like a group of Kith-harn, which should have been a quick job, only they never checked in again."
"Where?" Xander asked. Okay, this was unexpected what with Buffy swearing off men and threatening to explore her inner lesbian post-Immortal, but Xander recognized the raw pain in Buffy's face. They weren't sorta working it out; they were a thing. And now Buffy was falling apart.
"Idaho," Buffy said softly.
"Idaho? Potato Idaho or some alternate reality Idaho or maybe a demon dimension called Idaho?" Xander asked.
"Idaho in the Northwest United States," Giles said in a tired voice. "His unit was deployed west of a town called Cobalt, and the area is exceptionally isolated."
"He wandered around the jungles of South America and a hellmouth safely, and he goes missing in Idaho?" Xander asked again. Okay, so he was having some trouble wrapping his brain around that one.
"Yes. Idaho!" Buffy snapped. "And I'm here trying to find one more demon trying to suck the world into hell. I should be..." Buffy shuddered to a stop. "Xander, I just need you to find whatever is opening the portals, whatever pushed the Slanom into this dimension." Buffy's face had gone hard, the pain of a second ago vanished under the General Buffy face, the one she would put on when they found one more potential slayer lying dead on the ground. Xander hated that face.
"We don't know what to track, pet," Spike said to her softly. "We don't know if this is someone goin' for power or some nutter playing with mojo. We don't even know if the person pullin' the strings is in this dimension."
"Xander's our best chance of finding this guy fast," Buffy insisted.
"He's not goin' to be much help without more information," Spike countered, his voice soft and weirdly logical, but his arm tightened around Xander's waist.
"He has to be," Buffy said without emotion.
"As much as I hate to agree with Spike, and that is a considerable amount of hate," Giles offered, "He's right. We simply don't know enough about the enemy or about Xander's skills to use them effectively."
"I wish I could help," Xander said quickly. "I would be first in line to help. Riley's a nice guy, and I'm really glad you're getting back with him because I know his divorce really threw him, but I don't know how to find whoever dragged the Slanom through," Xander said helplessly.
Buffy stared at him blankly, and Xander felt the sucking feeling in his gut, the one that told him he was screwing up again. He wasn't fixing what he needed to fix.
"Maybe you can just try," Willow suggested softly, her hand coming up to rest on Buffy's shoulder.
"I don't know what to look for, and I don't see anything big with the weird," Xander said, blinking into his Shaman vision just to check again. Nope, Buffy's cord doing the tornado impression was the weirdest thing on his radar.
"I'm sure you're trying," Giles said reassuringly. "We simply need to research the Slanom's dimension and discover the force behind this the old fashioned way."
"Which leaves Riley with no help," Buffy looked up, and the hardness was still there. "You heard Carter. The military isn't sending anyone. They're just sitting back and if Riley and his guys can get themselves out, fine, and if not, the military will just call them casualties of some freak plane crash or something." Buffy turned from Giles to Xander. "Maybe we could drive around... you could see if you spotted any potential world-endage. I can't leave when I'm needed here, but I'm needed there, too. If this takes too long, Riley could die. He could be dying now." Buffy focused on him, and Xander's guts twisted with the need to do something. He might be able to find the big bad. Maybe. If the guy was in this dimension. If they were right that some mastermind was behind the Slanom. If it wasn't just some demon's idea of a practical joke. Xander sighed. Oh, this was not going well.
"Wait," Xander straightened as an idea hit him. "You stay and research the Slanom and Spike and I can go find Riley," he offered.
"Bloody--- What!?" Spike demanded.
"You'll what?" Buffy asked at the same time.
"You won't go out with all of us, but you'll go half way around the world with just Spike?" Willow demanded. Giles offered a soft noise that might have been a British curse before wandering to the side of the room and staring out at the stars.
"Spike knows how the mojo thing works," Xander defended himself and his idea, but the Willow pout didn't budge. "Besides, it's Idaho. How dangerous can Idaho be?"
"If something took out Riley and his team, you shouldn't be in the same state with it," Buffy said firmly. "We just need to hurry on the research front and then I can go find him. Or you could..." Buffy let her voice trail off, but Xander heard her frustration with him anyway. A little part of his brain told him to just try, to see if he could find the big bad if he wandered around looking. The hand around his waist anchored him to the reality that the odds were that it wouldn't end well. After all, pre-Cascade he seemed to use his skills to get himself in the most possible trouble at any given time, so the odds of someone killing or eating him were actually pretty good.
"I'll have Spike, and he knows more about the Shaman thing. And even if some demon did take out Riley's team, the demon wouldn't just assume that a vampire was out on the slay. Spike could totally bluff and play evil if the Idaho demons turned out to be extra demony, and you just can't pull that off, Buff," Xander pointed out. If he wanted Spike to do this, a little buttering up might be in order. "Besides, there isn't a bigger big bad than Spike." From the suspicious look Spike gave him, Xander didn't think he'd fooled the vamp.
"Can't bloody believe I'm sayin' this since I'd personally eat the bugger before crossing the street ta save his life, but Xand's right. You do the bit for God and country here, and Xander and I'll bring Captain Cardboard back."
"Spike." Buffy stopped. She closed her eyes for a second as though gathering her thoughts. "Spike, let's talk outside," she said as she headed for the kitchen. "Just us, okay?" Buffy asked over her shoulder as Spike started pulling Xander with him.
"Hey, no problem. You guys go do the talking thing, and I'll try and find some food that doesn't taste like charcoal," Xander said as he stepped away from Spike. For a second, Spike hesitated.
"Be right back," he said, and then he strode toward the kitchen. Xander heard the back door to the gardens slam loudly.
"Oh yeah, this day is off to a great start," Xander said sarcastically.
"I know it seems like we're big with the picking, but Xander, we just want to help. This isn't healthy. I ordered a few books from Amazon-dot-com, and Stockholm is really normal. Or, it isn't normal since it's a mental disorder, but it's not rare. And I don't know why you would suddenly turn to Spike, but the whole tying up is totally about power."
Xander opened his mouth to point out that tying up was less about power than just serious freaking sexy, but Giles beat him to the punch.
"Good lord. Willow, as much as I support your general position on the inherent dangers of Spike and Xander being in a relationship, please stop suggesting that a little bondage is a sign of the apocalypse."
"Giles!" Willow said, her mouth forming a shocked o.
"Do grow up," Giles snapped in return before he turned and headed for the hall. Oh yeah, this day was getting better and better all the time, Xander mused as he edged backwards toward the door to the library, sliding the pocket door closed on the sight of Willow standing in the middle of the empty dining room with a table full of mangled food-like substances. Blinking his Shamanic vision into place, Xander quickly found the traces of Spike's dual cord as he slipped out into the muggy night air and headed for the back yard for a little research of his own.
Chapter 14
Xander waited in the shadow of the house, watching the glowing end of Spike's cigarette. He could only see Buffy's outline—a lighter gray against the dark gray English night. She shifted and played with something in her hands, a stake maybe. Oh yeah, she was stressed.
"Right then, out with it," Spike finally demanded, his cigarette making a bright arc as he tossed it at the fountain.
"Spike, look, I just don't think this is a good idea," Buffy said, her voice firm.
"And would that be the rescue mission or are you still off on me and Xand?"
"What?" Buffy demanded. "Hey, I'm supporto-gal. Look at how supportive I am with not dragging him away."
"Bloody hell, what *is* your problem?"
"No problems here. I am problem-free gal *and* supporto-gal."
"Then why can't you trust us to go after soldier boy? Not like I'm going to eat him what with the soul still attached, and Xander—the boy holds his own as long as you keep those Shaman powers in mind and remind him to focus on the real world, two things you lot obviously didn't do."
"I never said I didn't trust you to go." Buffy paused, "Okay, I sorta implied that, but you aren't big on the Riley love, and Xander's middle name is Lavelle, not competent-rescue guy."
Xander closed his eye as he fought back tears. Not manly, crying just because one of your best friends points out the truth, both with the Lavelle and the not competent parts.
"Bloody hell. You have a problem, just come out and say it. Xand is soddin' brilliant at the Shaman bit so if ya need someone tracked, he's the best one to send, at least when you let him concentrate and don't get him wound up so tight his spring is ready to snap. You go out there and you're one more bloody idiot wandering around Idaho."
"Okay, and now you're the one who sounds like problem-boy with me." The Buffy shadow moved so that her hands braced on her waist.
"I do have a soddin' problem with how you've been actin' since we got back from Cascade. You may not be as obvious as Red, but you've still got some stick up your arse."
"Oh, and I'm supposed to be thrilled with how you're acting?"
"Right—got to the problem then, haven't we? Boy told you that he picked me over you lot, and now, all of a sudden, you have time for him. *That* gets you back from Italy. I understand why Red is raisin' a fuss—after all, Xand was her best friend and her first crush, and she still thinks of the boy as hers, but I don't—"
"See, that's the problem," Buffy nearly shouted, her voice growing shrill enough that a bird flapped out of the tree nearest the fountain, startled or just looking for a quieter place to rest. "Xander isn't hers or yours, and you talk about him like he's some little toy to pass back and forth. I'm all for supporting my friends' massive mistakes, and I can even wrap my brain around you being the one to do the tying instead of getting tied, but you talk about Xander like..." Buffy stopped.
For a long moment, the crickets chirping and the fountain gurgling and the splashing waves in the stone basin filled Xander's ears: ears which burned red at Buffy's description. "If I didn't still love ya, I'd knock you into next week for saying somethin' like that," Spike finally announced in a deadly soft voice. His bounce had disappeared so that his shadow stood as still as the statue of the fat cherubs that stood on either side of the arch leading to the garden path.
"Why? It's true," Buffy finally answered. She had angled her body, and Xander wondered if this was about to degenerate into an actual physical fight.
"I bloody love Xand, but he understands that means both a soul and a demon loves him. Won't deny what I am to you or to him, and that means I see the boy as mine. You don't want to get between me and mine," Spike warned her in that same strangely calm voice.
"Is that how it was with us? Are you going to hurt him one of these days the way you..." Buffy's words choked off, and Xander physically flinched away from that memory, the brick scratching at his face, but Spike didn't move.
"I soddin' belonged to you, only you didn't want that. So, we all just moved on. Stay out of my business with Xander, Slayer, or we will have a problem." Spike started to turn away, his yellow eyes flashing dimly in the night.
"Spike," Buffy called, her voice strangled with some emotion Xander couldn't identify. Spike froze.
The silence of the night drifted past the three of them—Buffy and Spike in the courtyard and Xander in his hiding place beside the house. Finally Spike answered. "Boy loves ya, I bloody love ya, but we won't stay here unless you lot get your heads screwed on straight. We'll go find Captain Cardboard, and when we come back, we'll either get some respect or we'll pack our shite and leave."
"You'd take him away from the only family he has left?" Buffy asked.
"You'd push him away, and I won't have ya hurtin' my boy," Spike answered before he disappeared, vampire speed removing him from the courtyard in the blink of a human eye.
Xander watched as Buffy nearly collapsed onto the rim of the fountain, her head sunk into her hands as her shoulders shook with sobs. He wanted to comfort her; that was his job in the group, to put people back together. However, comforting her meant giving her hope that he would choose her over Spike, and he couldn't do it. He quietly backed up, winding his way through the bushes at the side of the house before he reached the workshop door.
Moving quietly and quickly, he made his way to the bedroom he shared with Spike. Putting on a happy mask, he pushed open the door. Inside, Spike sat on the end of the bed with an unlit cigarette between his fingers.
"Hey, Spike," Xander smiled.
"Right, you get an earful?" Spike asked, looking up with eyes that pinned Xander to the floor.
"I…" Xander snapped his mouth shut. Okay, spying or lying, which would get him in more trouble.
"Never wanted you to bloody hear that rot. You're not some bauble I keep on a string to brass off the slayer, and you're bloody brilliant in a fight. When we visited Peaches, he was practically oozing envy when ya bird-dogged those vampires. I meant what I said, you're the best person ta find Riley, not that finding Riley is particularly high on my priority list," Spike finished dryly.
"But Buffy just…" Xander lost his words again. Funny, he normally had lots of words, not generally the right ones, but at least lots of them.
Spike reached out and grabbed Xander's hand, pulling him down to the bed where Spike wrapped strong arms around him. Xander felt something tighten around his heart and he took a deep breath as the pain he'd denied blossomed in his heart. "She doesn't want to know who I am now," Xander admitted, struggling to control his breathing. "I mean, I get Willow. She's holding on to what she has left, and yeah, I'm not really hers to hold onto, but that's Willow. I stopped her from ending the world because even evil, she wants to hold onto what she knows, and with Tara gone and Kennedy in the slightly psycho column and Buffy and Giles away, I'm about all she has left, but I thought Buffy... I didn't think she saw it like that," Xander finished quietly. It wasn't manly to cry. He wasn't going to cry. He was just going to shrivel up inside as he realized that none of them were ever going to accept him, not even Buffy.
"She can't face it, pet. She sees who ya are now, with all your pain and your strength, and she has to admit that she's a big part of it. Ya sacrificed a lot ta stay by her side," Spike used one finger to trace the edge of the eye patch, and Xander shivered. "She loves ya, and that's why she can't face seein' how different ya are from the boy she first knew. She doesn't want ta think how different ya are because of her."
"Hey, perfectly capable of getting hurt without her. Lots of people I grew up with ended up demon chow without ever knowing the slayer," Xander pointed out. Spike's hands slowly traveled his body, unfastening a button here and scraping a fingernail over bare flesh there.
"Didn't say she was right, only said she was fightin' her own guilt, right or wrong. And right now, she's not thinkin' clear because she feels guilty that she can't just up and run off to the soldier-boy. She's stuck here because of all the slayers, she's the one most likely to stop some plot to end the world. But I won't let her rip you apart while she works through her own guilt," Spike said absent-mindedly as he popped open the last button and slowly pushed off Xander's first shirt.
"Okay, that's sounding a little too insightful," Xander said suspiciously.
"Might have eavesdropped some on her therapy," Spike shrugged. "I was stuck in the building in the middle of the day waiting for her to finish, so it was that or a bloody gardening magazine. Don't go thinkin' this is your fault or even something you can control because Buffy's not brassed off about you, she's too busy seeing her own guilt in everything she looks at."
"Just like home," Xander snorted. Spike stopped and put a hand under Xander's jaw and made him look up.
"Meanin'?" Spike asked as he looked into Xander's eye.
"Nothing."
"Don't do that, pet. Don't bloody shut me out of your head," Spike said seriously. Hands that had been teasing stopped, and Xander looked up at the open expression in Spike's face.
"Mom and Dad," Xander admitted softly. "They were so busy fighting with each other and the bill collectors and finally with the lawyers that they never really noticed me. When I broke my arm in the library, they didn't notice for nearly a week." Xander shrugged and tried to back away, but Spike's fingers held him in place.
"Well, I bloody notice ya, pet. So, we find soldier-boy and then we make some decisions 'bout where we're goin' to make home."
"You'll make some decisions," Xander said quietly.
"Pet?" Spike asked.
"I can't leave them," Xander nearly whispered, hoping that Spike would understand what he meant.
"Not a problem. I'll make the decision for you. Ya don't need to protect yourself, pet, I'll do that bit for ya." Spike loosened his fingers, and Xander ducked his head as he fought with his own guilt. "After all, you're mine, aren't you?" Spike asked as he unbuttoned the top snap on Xander's jeans.
Strong hands pulled Xander up onto the bed so that he lay on his back while Spike crouched over him. "Seem to remember someone givin' himself to me, and as the alpha vampire, I have ta take care of my clan," Spike pointed out as he reached a hand under Xander's undershirt and pinched a nipple. Xander bucked up, grabbing at Spike's shoulders only to find a knee at his hip forcing him back down to the bed. Looking up at Spike's amused yellow eyes, Xander realized that as much as he loved his girls, this was home. Then Spike leaned down to demand a rough kiss, and Xander let himself slip into a place where he no longer thought at all.
Traveling with a vampire made things more complicated, so even though Xander was all for leaving immediately, they couldn't actually go for two days: two days of awkward silences and even more awkward politeness that drove even Janie from the room. Yep, fun times. And now that they were leaving, Xander was torn between wanting to make everything better, to give Willow and Buffy some lie that would make things easier, and just wanting to run as far away as he could. Since Giles and Spike hadn't brought the car up, he just stood staring at the night instead of doing either.
"Xander," Willow stopped, one hand clutching the door frame as Xander stood on the porch, his dufflebag at his feet.
"Hey, we're just going to find Riley, and be home in time for the big beheading of the big bad, assuming that this latest big bad has a head, which they don't all have," Xander shrugged and gave Willow a grin.
"Don't you go getting yourself in trouble, mister," Willow said as she blinked quickly, but she was still close to tears.
"No trouble for the Xand man," Xander promised as he held out his arms. Willow came forward and hugged him, hard. In that tenacious grip, Xander could feel her need to not let go. Even when Xander ended the hug, she held on for several seconds.
"If you need me, you know I'm always here for you. You don't ever have to do something you don't want to," she whispered softly.
Xander gently pushed away so that he could look right in her eyes. "I'm not going to do anything I don't want to. And I'm not out to get myself killed or hurt," he said seriously. Willow chewed on her lip without answering, but Xander could see she wasn't convinced. She was quiet, but not convinced. "And hey, someone has to go rescue the idiot soldiers. Who better than Spike because you know he's going to be rubbing it in the whole way back. If I were you, I would worry about Spike because Riley's going to be ready to slip holy water in the blood supply by the time Spike finishes with all the rubbing in."
"Oi, he does, and I'm not going to be held responsible for my actions," Spike's voice answered as he jumped up onto the porch. "Car's ready, pet."
"Hey, my chariot awaits," Xander joked as he backed off a step. The car came around the corner, Giles behind the wheel. "Say goodbye to the girls again, for me," Xander said awkwardly. He'd already said his own goodbyes to the baby slayers before they'd left for patrol, but awkwardness called for words, and they were the only words Xander could come up with that wouldn't cause a new round of bickering.
"Bloody hell, move your arse or we'll still be here come sunup," Spike growled as he grabbed Xander's arm with one hand and the duffle with the other.
"Be careful," Buffy called from her place near the porch railing. "And find Riley, okay?" she added, uncertainty making her voice brittle.
Spike stopped, meaning Xander stopped. Xander took a last look at the English home. If something didn't change, he suspected that he wouldn't call this place home any more. Giles was standing by the car, waiting to drive them to the airport. Buffy stood watching them with an indifferent mask, but Xander could see the pain and fear lurking under the surface. Willow still stood near the open door, tears just starting to gather in her eyes.
"We'll find him, luv. Xander's good at what he does, and before you know it, we'll be dragging the stupid sod back here," Spike promised. "But if he tries slippin' holy water into the blood, I'm taking a few pints out of him," Spike threatened with a wry smile. A half-smile flashed across Buffy's face, followed by pain and then the mask slipped back into place.
"Drive safe," Buffy finished before she turned and headed back into the house.
"Come on then." Spike pulled Xander toward the car, settling him into the front seat before Spike got in back.
"We're dangerously close to being late," Giles said as he slipped the car into gear.
"If ya let me drive, we'd be there in plenty of time," Spike suggested as the car started rolling down the drive.
"I'm not so senile as to forget the last time you drove. I believe you managed to destroy the car. And had I been human at the time, I might have suffered a rather severe case of whiplash."
"Oi, you weren't even in the car when I wrecked it," Spike objected. Xander stared silently out the window. Walking away from his girls felt wrong, but doing something to push Spike away felt wronger, and Xander knew that as long as they were around the girls, the girls were going to be big with the pushing Spike away.
"I have heard enough stories that I don't feel a need to experience your driving first hand," Giles answered as he pulled onto the main road and began driving exactly the speed limit.
"Right, the girls aren't here, so let's just lay things out on the table," Spike said in a suddenly serious tone of voice. "Xander bloody chose me, and I'm not plannin' on hurting him any time soon, so as far as I'm concerned, you lot need to pull your heads out of your collective arse and bloody butt out of our business."
Xander turned to look at Spike. He sat behind Giles, his arms crossed over his chest. Up front, Giles gripped the wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white.
"If we're being honest, I still believe your timing is rather suspicious. It is in a demon's nature to try and control power, and you believe Xander to be exceptionally powerful."
Xander flinched. Believed. Nice word for saying that Xander wasn't big with the power. Yep, Xander could feel the love in the car. Funny, he didn't actually want to be big with the power, but it'd be nice if Giles gave him credit for being able to be big with the power.
"I don't just believe he has power, I bloody well know it," Spike snarled. "You keep this up, this doubting and undermining, and you'll bloody well get demoted to seein' the boy on every other major holiday."
"You have no say over Xander's life."
"I have as much say as Xander chooses ta give me."
"Which is clearly too much say if you think you have any right to tell him where to go or with whom to associate."
"Whoa, hey, what happened to all that good old-fashioned English repression? You know, the stiff upper lip and being polite no matter what? Politeness and emotional repression would be good," Xander interrupted. Giles was gripping the wheel so hard that Xander half expected the man to run right off the road.
"Yes, well after what we have faced together, I feel quite close to all of you," Giles said softly. "I fear that your needs have led you somewhere dangerous, and while I understand that you are an adult and that you will make your own choices, I am clearly struggling to understand why you have chosen Spike. Of course, I have my own dark past with Ethan, so I have no right to judge, but I would rather you not repeat the mistakes I've made in my life," Giles offered, his voice little more than a whisper, but the stranglehold on the steering wheel made Giles' emotions perfectly clear.
"I chose Spike because I like him," Xander said quietly. Giles glanced over before focusing on the winding road again. "He's funny and he gets my jokes and sometimes when I feel like crawling out of my own skin because I just can't… I don't know how to even handle what I'm trying to handle… he's there."
"And we haven't been," Giles finished.
"You've been there," Xander hurried to add even though Spike's snort from the back made his opinion pretty clear. "But being there and being *there* are not the same. I mean…" Xander scrambled for words. "Jim said something. He said that when he watched people die, some part of him got lost with them, and it's like that, and I don't know what to hold onto anymore and I'm just so alone, Giles. Spike is the first person who made me feel like I'm not alone."
Giles sighed, and Xander felt his own emotions struggle to fly out of control. "I assure you, I do understand what you're feeling," Giles finally answered. "I have sent children into battle, and I have watched you and Willow suffer far more that I could have ever imagined. Had I known what the future held, I would never have allowed either of you to get involved with slaying."
"But ya did," Spike snapped from the backseat, ever of the nonhelpfulness.
"Yes, I did," Giles agreed. "So Xander, I can certainly understand your emotional difficulties, and I know Buffy has struggled with her own demons, both the type from hell and the mental ones which haunt her thoughts. But Spike is not the only solution."
"No, he's not," Xander agreed, and he had to ignore the shocked and hurt expression on Spike's face, "but he's the best solution. He understands the guilt and the fear, and he doesn't look at me like I'm the donut boy."
"I assure you, no one has thought of you like that for a very long time. I doubt anyone other than Cordelia ever considered you in such a light."
"No, you just thought I was the idiot who was so stupid that he accidentally cast a love spell on the whole town, and Buffy thought I was so incompetent that she banned me from patrolling, and Willow thought I was so pathetic that she sent me to the other side of the world so that I wouldn't have to be humiliated by the whole getting turned down by Spike when I threw myself at him, which I was getting frighteningly close to doing before I went to Cascade. One night there was much drinking involved, and I got as far as the basement steps."
"I wouldn't have turned ya down, pet," Spike said from the back. The vampire leaned forward, a strong hand resting on Xander's arm.
"Yeah, but Giles is right about the demon and power, and if I'd actually shown up in your room, it wouldn’t have been the same as it is now, would it?" Xander suddenly asked. Giles thought he didn't see the truth, but Xander did. And Spike wasn't exactly trying to hide anything from him. Spike sucked air through his teeth for a second.
"You're right, pet. My soul liked you well enough, but the demon wouldn't have been satisfied with just you. I would have given you a right tumble, but I would've been in a bar finding someone else ta shag two days later."
"Yes, and this is supposed to reassure me?" Giles demanded darkly.
"Not so much. This is more you realizing that I do know why you're worried, only you don't need to worry because Spike's soul is big with the love and the faithfulness, and now that I do have power, his demon is big with the gloating and the faithfulness, and note the repetition of faithfulness because I don't have a lot of that… not since Anya. And if we're comparing reasons for not trusting each other, I'm going to add that before the chip and the soul, Spike scared the shit out of me and I was more 'whoo, stake Spike' than 'hey, let's be open-minded' boy about the whole thing. Hell, I wasn't a big fan even later when Spike was on our side, although I did try to be supportive of the Buffy and Spike thing, only it turned out to be the Buffybot and Spike thing, which is not really the point here. But I wouldn't have wanted him pre-soul and he wouldn't have wanted me pre-Shaman, and that seems fair."
"Oi, I would have wanted ya," Spike objected at the same time Giles offered his own, "My point exactly."
"And Spike has a history of loyalty and love's bitchiness, which sounds strange when I say it that way, but you know what I mean, and I have a history of dumping the woman I love at the altar and driving her to demoniness, so maybe I'm not the one to worry about. Maybe I should be the one getting the shovel speech."
"Not your fault some demon went mucking with your memories," Spike hurried to say.
"And for now, I understand why Spike's devotion appeals to you," Giles said slowly. "However, I do have to wonder what will happen when his soul and his demon are no longer in agreement about the best course of action."
"Bloody hell, think I've shown time and time again that the soul makes the final call," Spike snapped.
"Yes, and if your soul is wavering?" Giles turned a corner a little too sharply and they were on a much busier road. "I can imagine a day when Xander is aging, and your soul is torn about what to do and your demon whispers that Shamanic powers survive a turning. What will you do then, Spike?" Giles demanded.
"I'm not going to soddin' turn him."
"Now? No, you aren't. But you cannot tell me that the danger doesn't exist. Given your history of possessiveness, and as Xander points out, faithfulness, you cannot expect me to believe that you will simply watch him die as all humans must."
"I'm so glad we're all being honest because the honesty and the love and the trust in the car is threatening to underwhelm me," Xander sighed. The car fell silent. Miles ticked away under the tires, and Spike's fingers tightened on Xander's arm.
"Xander, I am willing to accept that you and Spike have a relationship right now which is mutually beneficial and healthy."
"Bloody right it is," Spike quickly agreed. Giles turned in his seat long enough to give Spike a sharp look. "However," he said slowly and deliberately before he focused on traffic again, "I would like some assurances from both of you that you will contact me before you do anything drastic. Spike, while I would find it exceptionally difficult, I would stake any vampire wearing Xander's face, so turning him will not stave off death."
"Threaten him again, and I'll soddin' rip your intestines out," Spike snarled, going into gameface, and Xander could only hope that no one was looking into their car. Yep, this was going oh so well. Why hadn't he wanted Buffy to drive them? Oh yeah, he wanted to avoid another dramatic scene. Well, that and he didn't want to get splattered across the pavement.
"I would give anything to protect Xander," Giles said calmly even though he had a fully functional and unchipped vampire growling an inch from his neck. "I simply suspect that your good intentions will not survive watching Xander age. So, I shall attempt to find a spell which would either slow the aging or permanently attach Xander's soul. I want your word that you will not attempt to turn Xander until you have given me a chance to protect him from what he could become."
Xander glanced back, and Spike had a thoughtful expression on his face. For the first time, Xander considered that Giles might be right. If he were bleeding to death, would Spike be able to just watch him die? And did Xander want a Xander-shaped vampire wandering around? Considering he didn't trust his own ability to control his power, he really wasn't trusting some newly-risen fledge.
"Deal, mate," Spike finally offered.
Giles sighed, but at least his hands loosened up on the wheel. "Should you decided to not come back with Riley, let me know, and I have need for good teams in any number of places. Demonic activity does seem to be on the rise."
Xander looked at Giles and realized that the older man was offering his tacit approval, his approval and a place to stay. "Thanks, Giles." Xander reached over and let his own hand rest on Giles' shoulder for a second. It was a step in the right direction. Now Xander just had to get Buffy and Willow onto his side. Hopefully the baby slayers would work on them while he and Spike were off in Idaho because Xander really didn't want to give up his friendships. He would to keep Spike, but he was big with the not wanting to.
Chapter 15
"Spike?" Blair asked, standing in the open door to the loft in shock.
"Wot? You were expecting the Easter bunny?" Spike pushed past Blair into the loft.
"No," Blair said slowly, drawing the word out.
"Geez, rude much?" Xander complained from the door. "Hey, nice to see you, Blair. Mind if we come in?"
"Sure, come on in," Blair offered. "I thought you were back home."
Xander walked in, and Spike had already sprawled over the couch, his legs crossed with one boot resting on top of his other knee.
"Hey, Jim," Xander offered as the Sentinel came down the stairs from the loft. "We were back home, but things sorta happened."
"You needed to get out of Dodge?" Jim asked with a wry smile. "No problem, Sport."
"Oh man, they were freaking, weren't they? Man, I knew they would. People are just not into change, but give them some time," Blair hurried to add as he locked the door and came over to put a hand on Xander's arm. Then Spike was there standing threateningly close, and then Jim was pressing in, his arm going around Blair's waist, and all four of them were in the same two foot square of space. Suddenly coming here didn't seem like such a good idea.
"Hey, how are those Jags doing?" Xander asked with exaggerated brightness as he pushed Spike back. For a second, Spike resisted moving, and then he yielded. Xander pushed Spike back several steps and then he was getting pulled back toward the couch. Spike dropped, pulling Xander down so that their hips touched.
"Hey, no offense meant," Blair hurried to say, and Xander noticed that he put his back to Jim, holding the larger Sentinel back as the man glared at Spike.
"Just settin' some boundaries. I figure we've had enough of being around people who don't bloody know the word boundary," Spike commented calmly, but Jim still stood glaring down only now he reached out and grabbed Blair's neck, tucking his Shaman behind him.
"Go on then, pet," Spike said to Xander as he gave him a push with a knee. "Let's just get the bloody show on the road."
"Not much for small talk, are you?" Jim asked as he stood between the couch and the kitchen table. Blair went to sit on one of the chairs, and Jim reached out a hand and pulled Blair back to his side without taking his eyes off Spike.
Spike only stared without answering, and Xander shifted nervously on the couch. This had seemed like such a great idea in England. They needed help, Jim and Blair were right there… okay, not right there, but in the same country there. It had even sounded pretty practical on the plane ride over. Now… now it just seemed stupid. Jim and Blair had work that did not include work of the demony sort. In fact, Jim got cranky every time someone mentioned demons. Blair just got that curious expression… the one that made Xander nervous.
"We're just in the states to do, you know, work. Work is good. Anyway, this is obviously not a good time, so hey, nice to see you, and we'll just be…" Xander felt the babble pour out, helpless to stop it.
"Need your help," Spike interrupted him with sharp clipped words that he spit out unhappily. Xander watched while Jim's eyes went large and Blair, who had been subtly shifting to get past Jim, froze in place. Spike didn't elaborate, but strong fingers kneaded Xander's shoulder reassuringly. Xander took a deep breath. Right, these were their friends. Xander glanced up at Jim who had now narrowed his eyes as he glared at Spike. Okay, these were his friends who probably wished he'd picked someone other than Spike. Funny how all his friends felt that way. But somehow, Jim's open aggression seemed so much less aggressive than what they'd left back home.
"Major Finn, the guy who shared totally classified material when you chained me to the kitchen, um, yeah, he's kinda missing," Xander blurted in one long breath.
"Oh man, missing as in demons and vampires might have eaten him?" Blair asked. Jim's arm slipped around Blair's waist, and Jim pulled his guide to his body, not even trying for subtle.
"Um, maybe. Maybe he's just lost," Xander said. "He's in the wilds of Idaho, which I have to say I didn't know Idaho had any wilds, but there are some really isolated areas out there. So I'm hoping for lost."
"Special forces… lost," Jim answered dubiously.
"And saying it like that, I'm thinking not that likely," Xander said. "But there's still trapped or injured and waiting it out, and I'd vote for those over dead."
Spike snorted. "Right, so like I said, need some help. Buffy's busy so we got stuck finding Captain Cardboard."
"Major," Xander corrected him. Spike looked over with one eyebrow up. "Not that it really matters since he's still lost. Or eaten. He might be eaten."
"And what might have done the eating?" Jim asked suspiciously.
"Probably Kith-harn from what we got from one of the soldier boys who sent him in. Not particularly dangerous, but tough and soldier boys found a nest," Spike shrugged as if it didn't matter to him that demons had eaten soldiers. Then again, it probably didn't actually matter to him. "Bloke called Carter called Buffy, told her about the report and about the fact that the army sent Captain Cardboard in, but no one came back out."
"So let the soldiers clean up the mess," Jim suggested dryly.
"They kinda did. We heard about it on the plane, the trapped gas in the mine? The big explosion out in the boonies? Yeah, that was right where the nest was supposed to be," Xander explained.
"Ten to one, the soldier boys blew up the Kith-harn nest." Spike leaned back and sucked on his front teeth.
"Demons go boom," Xander nodded. "But what with the whole going boom thing, the army's going to call it all over even though Riley is still on the missing list. He knows his stuff, Jim. He wouldn't go down to a bunch of Kith-harn."
"Are you sure they didn't do a search before, you know, blowing up the countryside?" Blair asked with a slightly disgusted expression.
"If they did, they wouldn't have done a good one. These wankers will go through an area and take out the most obvious demons, but they miss more than they see. They aren't known for being especially good at their jobs."
"They aren't?" Xander asked as he turned to Spike. Spike just rolled his eyes.
"I'm not going ta get Buffy wound up about it, but it's not like they have a good reputation among demons. Human soldiers are trained to deal with humans, not demons. Angel and I had to go in and clean out some Grox'Lar the soldier boys walked right past and never saw. However, I can't see Captain Cardboard just laying down and dying for some Kith-harn, which means either his own people blew him up or…" Spike ended with a shrug.
"Oh man, they left him out there." Blair's breathless horror pretty much summed it up.
"Gits aren't good about taking care of their own. Push comes to bloody shove, and they're no better than most demons—they'll leave the sick and wounded behind and save their own arses." Spike agreed. "Personally, don't give a rat's arse about Riley, but Buffy wants him back, and the boy's right. Riley's a bloody wanker, but he wouldn't go down easy. I'd lay odds that he's holed up somewhere waitin' for his people ta come get him."
"Only they aren't coming," Jim said bitterly. The Sentinel walked to a chair and sat down heavily. Immediately, Blair followed, sitting on the arm of the chair and putting a comforting hand on Jim's back.
"Bastards. Oh man, they are just—" Blair couldn't come up with a word and shivered with disgust to finish his thought.
"Soddin' right on that one," Spike agreed.
"I'd wish some horrible disease on them, but after having a few rounds with the magical syphilis, I just try to avoid disease references. And magic. Magic and me are definitely unmixy," Xander added. Bonding was good, and if they could bond over hating the army, he was all for it. Nothing like a common enemy to make people do the forgiving and forgetting thing. Of course, right now Jim and Blair just both stared at him in shock. "And that was too much on the share-scale, wasn't it?" Xander asked.
Blair smiled, the type of smile a person makes when they're trying really hard to not smile. "Hey, as long as you aren't sharing the magical syphilis."
Xander flushed as he remembered Blair's hands rubbing over his body, thumbs pressing into his nipples before Blair reached down and sucked on the tight skin, and hey, mentioning syphilis to previous lovers, not of the good. "No way, we killed a couple of Indians, and it cleared right up… and that sounds really awful when I say it out loud. Did that sound awful?" Xander asked Blair.
"Slightly," Blair agreed.
"Ya killed an evil spirit tryin' ta work vengeance on the world. Not like you went out and slaughtered a few innocent squaws making their tortillas."
"Oh man, you have enough stereotypes in there to offend an entire tribe of Athabaskans," Blair cringed. "So, you two go and kill the demons and find Riley. What part do you need help with?" Blair asked. Jim continued to sit silently, his jaw popping and the vein along his neck doing a little pulsy thing that made Xander think of the Hulk right before he actually Hulked.
"Just the killing and the finding parts."
"Oi, I can kill 'em just fine as long as there are any left after the military morons blew up a big chunk of mountain. And you're going to find him, so it's not like we need help with that bit. Ya just need to look for the most idealistic prat around and follow the thread. But I can't protect the boy during the day."
"Hey, I can protect myself, you know. I'm good with the running," Xander insisted as he crossed his arms.
"Wouldn't let Red or Buffy or even the soddin' knobhead wander the woods alone after the sun came up. Since I'll be stuck in a vamp-friendly tent ta avoid turnin' into dust and ash, I need someone to look after you."
"Jim and Blair are backup for us, us, you and me type us," Xander protested. "They are not babysitters since I can take care of myself. I have the manly screaming AND the running down," Xander objected. Spike looked at him blankly. "And hiding AND when pushed into a corner, I swing a deadly weed-eater," Xander pointed out. Spike rolled his eyes and then reached out and snagged Xander's neck. Xander didn't struggle against the pull that tucked him into Spike's side with most of his weight resting on Spike's chest. Even better, no one in the room tensed up or glared disapprovingly or made little grunting noises of unhappiness. Xander relaxed into the embrace. Maybe the girls just needed this latest apocalypse in England so they would focus on it and not moaning over the wrongness that was Spike and Xander because as far as Xander was concerned, there was a real lack of wrongness.
"And you came to us because?" Jim asked.
Spike looked over at the sentinel, and the loft grew quiet. "Wouldn't trust just anyone ta protect the boy when I'm stuck in some bloody pup tent. Even fewer who I trust not to hurt him with their ideas 'bout who's right for the boy and the choices the boy's made." Spike's words hung on the air as Jim looked right at them. Xander bit his lip, uncomfortable with the silence but unwilling to break it as Jim and Spike considered each other solemnly. The air grew still as Xander waited for an answer.
"I happen to think you're an asshole," Jim commented.
"Ta, mate," Spike offered a two-fingered salute. "I can be when times call for it."
"Been accused of being one myself, and I can't say Naomi, Blair's mom, is still exactly thrilled with us being together, so I'm not likely to judge someone else's relationship," Jim finished. Xander watched as Jim scrubbed his hand over his face, his jaw still doing the throbby thing. "So, Major Finn. If he's hurt or trapped, they'll leave him out there to rot," Jim said slowly.
"Or go nuts," Blair added as he twirled his finger around in the universal sign for loony. "I mean, solitary isolation is majorly bad for the psyche. Solitary confinement has been shown to contribute to aggressive behaviors, depression, anxiety, anger management, even psychosis. Not good. So not good."
"Why would they send him in alone?" Jim asked.
"Um," Xander flinched when he realized how the next bit sounded. "Okay, we're actually hoping to rescue a whole team, but I guess we're focusing on the Riley part since he's the one we know."
"Speak for yourself, pet. The rest can either tag along or fall in a ravine for all I care. I'm going out to find Finn, and I'm soddin' ashamed of doing that much."
"Okay, as a member of the soul-having club, that's sounding not so good," Xander complained softly. This was really not going to impress Jim or Blair what with the sounding slightly heartless and maybe a little soulless. Xander looked up through his lashes and Spike was looking at him strangely.
"They bloody experimented on me, pet. They go out and kill anything from Kwaini to Bracchen to vampires without wondering who's evil and who's not. Soddin' hell, I doubt you or the fuzzy Shaman over there or a Sentinel would get a pass from the human-only brigade."
"Major Finn is like that?" Jim quickly asked with a frown.
"Not so much now," Xander hurried to say. "I mean, once upon a time, yeah. He was totally with the whole exterminate with extreme prejudice plan, but then he met Buffy and he figured out that not quite human didn't mean bad exactly."
"Yeah, found out he liked vampires a whole lot, didn't he?" Spike asked with a not-nice smirk.
"Okay, officially ancient history." Xander planted an elbow in Spike's side. "Riley's an okay guy. He rejoined the military because Buffy was having problems, and she made him feel big on the useless scale, and he's more of a save the world sort than a sit around and watch someone else save the world sort. So, yeah he's career military and military sometimes means stupid when it comes to fighting demons, but he's a good guy. And he's out there waiting for backup that's probably not going to come, or at least I hope he is."
"How many were in his team when they went in?" Jim asked.
"Six, Riley plus five," Xander answered. He pulled a folded paper out of his jacket, information on each of the missing men. Other than Riley, Xander didn't know any of them, but they all deserved rescue.
"The government may still be looking. I can't say I particularly want to get mixed up in a government search," Jim said as he flipped through the pages. He stopped on one page, his jaw tightening.
"Not bloody arguin' with that," Spike said quickly. "If someone's still out there lookin', I'm happy to let them find the git, but you know as well as I do that Xander's the best bet for tracking someone in an area that large. And if the government planned on sendin' in the rescue, I doubt they would have blown up a big chunk of a mountain."
"If they're alive, something's keeping them from just hiking out," Jim said. He held out one of the papers, one with a black man with large eyes. "Peterson. I ran into him in the Middle East. He's not one to give up easy. Whatever has killed or trapped him, I don't want Blair anywhere near it," Jim said seriously.
"Whoa, you so do not get to make that decision for me," Blair immediately objected, but Jim leveled a steel gaze at the man. "I am sorry I ever said the words Blessed Protector near you. You are not my guardian angel."
"No, but I'm your Sentinel," Jim countered. "And I'm not taking my Guide up against demons."
"Xander and Blair, their powers won't help 'em in a fight, so I wouldn't take them in if there was any danger."
"So, something took out or trapped six members of a highly elite secret force, but you're trying to tell me it's not a danger to Blair?" Jim asked incredulously
Okay, Xander could admit that sounded a little fishy; however, Spike just flashed into gameface. "Kith-harn aren't a bloody danger, not to me."
"I don't walk into situation without more intel than 'they aren't a danger'." Jim tossed the papers down on the coffee table and crossed his arms.
"You don't want to help, fine," Spike snapped out as he stood up, dragging Xander up with him.
"Hey, whoa, we never said we wouldn't help," Blair stepped between Spike and the door, his hands held up in surrender. "Jim's just a little overly cautious."
"Justifiably cautious," growled in response.
"A little information might help things, you know. We're still on the whole learning curve with demons, so you say demon, and we tend to think of those old lithographs of giant scaly-faced evil with with the big horns." Blair used his fingers to outline horns coming out of his head.
"Those are Fyarl demons. Or maybe D'Hoffryn, D'Hoffryn is with the horns," Xander nodded. He stopped when he realized Jim and Blair were both looking at him with mild horror. "And you were totally exaggerating with the whole horned giant thing, weren't you?" Xander asked.
"You mean there are demons that look like that? Wow. I mean, I guess I should have guessed because all mythology carries a seed of truth, but wow." Blair backed off a step, his face going a little pale.
Spike shrugged. "Adult Pa'tapparich ready to mate or Hacksaw or Froctor demons or a dozen other kinds come with horns and huge bodies. It's a popular feature," Spike added.
"And you want me to walk into battle with something that looks like that?" Jim asked darkly. Oh yeah, that wasn't Jim's friendliest expression.
"Bloody hell, if this were a tribe of Fyarl, I'd be going in with dozens of slayers at my back. They're Kith-harn," Spike rolled his eyes.
"Meaning?" Jim demanded as he stood up and stood next to Blair.
Xander jumped in. "They're slightly stronger than an average human, but mostly they count on surprise when they're hunting. They have bright red skin and lower teeth that look kinda like a boar with a serious bad overbite. I mean, they're a little freaky, but not a major hellmouth opening, taking out huge populations type of demon."
"They're not harmless, either," Spike quickly added as he gave Xander a look. "Won't lie. If there are enough of 'em, they can be buggers to kill. But one on one, a well-prepared human has a fair chance, and with your senses ta warn you ahead of time, you should have a better than fair chance of takin' on a good dozen of them."
"A dozen?" Jim crossed him arms and looked more than a little doubtful.
"Some demons, like vamps, aren't bothered by bullets. They sting like hell, but they don't do enough damage ta slow us down."
"But a gun will kill a Kith-harn," Jim guessed.
"Just as fast as a human," Spike agreed. "If they took out Riley and his team, it's because the soldier boys got too damn confident or because they were overwhelmed. We'll hear them comin' before they can overwhelm us, assuming that any survived having half the mountain blown up."
"Peterson was an arrogant son of a bitch when I met him." Jim turned to look at Blair, his uncertainty clear.
"Come on, Jim. They're alone out there," Blair urged him.
"Or they're dead," Jim countered. Blair just looked up without saying a word. "Fuck, or they're holed up hoping for rescue. Fine, we're going," Jim finally relented. Blair immediately gave Xander a big smile and a thumbs up. "But if one demon touches Blair, I'll shove a piece of wood down your throat," Jim threatened Spike.
"Like ta see you try, mate. I'd skin ya alive. And if you don't take care of Xander during the day, I suggest ya run and keep running because I'll show ya that skinning alive isn't just a saying."
Xander looked from one to the other, a little freaked with the mutual threats, but Blair rolled his eyes. "Shit. You two have way too much testosterone. Hey, I wonder if vampires have an endocrine system. You know, I have a friend who's a nurse, that could be a fascinating study."
"Oi!" Spike just about shouted. "And keep your Shaman off my bloody tail. I'm not into getting mojo'ed."
"You're on your own with him," Jim said with a wicked smile. The more time he's trying to test you, the less time he has to test me." Jim turned to Blair. "I'll get the gear; you call Simon. Tell him we have some friends with an emergency," Jim said as he stood. Xander started breathing again without even noticing he'd stopped.
As Jim hurried upstairs and Blair got on the phone, Xander felt a little knot untie in his stomach. Okay, so now they had backup. Backup was good. Xander just hoped they'd get there in time to need backup.