Roleplaying, not Living
Rated ADULT
Warnings:
Piercing, Bondage
Xander felt guilty using his shamanic powers to talk to the split Spike, but he was so not doing good getting to the real one. Spike had fucked him, and then disappeared. Oh, the bartenders would always say that Spike had just been there or some demon would claim to have talked to him not more than five minutes earlier, but Xander couldn't find him anywhere. He'd even considered trying to hire someone to Dom him suspecting that Spike would show up in a minute, but then there was the chance Spike wouldn't, and Xander was not into being Dommed by just anyone, thank you very much.
So, instead, he waited until daylight on the third day after his meeting with Spike and then he called on his fourth scar.
"Bloody hell," Spike breathed as he appeared on Xander's bed. "I thought I got you out of my system when I fucked you. 'Course, I'm still only half sure I did. There's the shaman thing and the two eyes. I figure there's a good chance you're some sort of demon. You the First?" Spike asked as he tilted his head up and stared at Xander.
"Nope, I’m just Xander," he shrugged. "Got the eye back when I did the shamanic rites. Willow was really angry. She cried and talked about me being inconsiderate what with the trying to get myself killed."
"Not surprised about that. Most blokes that try for shamanic powers end up grease spots. Of course, you're so bloody stubborn I shouldn't be surprised you just refused to die."
"Do you think this is a dream?" Xander asked as he watched Spike in the mirror.
"Let's see. I can bloody see myself in the mirror, my demon's hanging out over there growling, and I look like that pathetic fop, William. Yeah, I'm assuming this is a dream."
"Why are you avoiding me?" Xander asked.
"This is too bloody Freudian, even for me."
"Seriously, Spike. You can even gag me if it makes you happy, you know, if I'm talking too much."
"You always talk too much," Spike snorted.
"Explain this. Explain why I can't help you when you're obviously in need of help," Xander demanded. Spike lunged up from the bed, and Xander had never seen him look so angry. Normally when Spike was that angry, he went into gameface.
"I don't fucking need you!" he just about roared. "Go haunt someone else's fucking dreams, Harris."
"Tell me that you're okay, and I will!" Xander yelled back. And then the demon was there, growling as he grabbed Xander and shoved him into the mirror so hard that Xander heard a crack.
"I can't have you," the demon growled.
"Why not?"
"I'm a beast."
"I got that. Why can't you have me?" Xander asked again.
"A beast is owned or owns. It's all a beast knows. No one owns me. I own no one."
"Spike, is that the problem?" Xander asked, ignoring the fact that the demon was still squishing him against the mirror.
"I'm afraid so," a soft voice answered.
"William," Xander said. The man walked around to the side where Xander could see him.
"Yes. Spike is the personality the beast and I share; the bridge between us. He's feeling closer to the demon right now, I’m afraid," William offered apologetically.
"Why can't he let me in? Why is he so afraid of me?" Xander asked the man. William glanced at the beast with sympathy in his eyes.
"He really did want the slayer. She could own him, control the beast part of him, and then he wouldn't have to worry about his urge to own everyone who did not own him. Buffy owned him, and he felt as though he owned the rest of you because you were hers. But it wasn't true. Buffy didn't own him, and so she thought nothing of what it would mean to walk away from him."
"She didn't walk away from him," Xander said with a frown.
William gave Xander a resigned look and shook his head sadly. "He called her after Angel's fight. She asked him if Angel had survived, and then she told him that she had to go. He's lost. And he tries to fill his needs with the men and women who look for a demon to dominate them, but they aren't actually looking to be owned."
"Whoa, you mean he wants to put a collar on someone like in that warehouse? He wants to keep them like that?" Xander demanded with a whole lot of creepy in his guts. Okay, so he'd enjoyed the game they'd played, and he wouldn't mind getting tied to a bed every once in... okay, he wouldn't mind that a lot, but no way did he want to live his life on his knees.
"If he were only the beast, yes, that's what he would do. But we're more now," William pointed out. "It's not about just the demon's needs anymore. He felt like he owned Dawn. Owning was about loving and protecting her. Owning was about being worthy of love back." William came forward and put his hand on the demon's arm, stroking it. "He's so alone because no one wants him enough to make him come back... no one who's strong enough to force him to anyway. And he doesn't trust himself to own someone else."
William pulled the demon back so it released Xander, and Xander backed up and stared at the cracked image and the two creatures behind him.
"Maybe this is a bad idea. The beast is more agitated than ever," William said softly as he reached up and rested his palm against the demon's chest.
"Okay, I’m guessing Spike needs a whole lot of kinky sex," Xander said slowly. William turned an amused look toward him.
"That is not the important part."
"Then tell me what is."
William considered him for several minutes. "He needs someone to protect. He needs someone who will argue with him, but when he puts his foot down, who will follow his orders. He needs someone who trusts him completely and loves him."
"I can do that," Xander said seriously.
William's body shimmered, and then the hand came up and ripped the glasses off.
"Prat. He's dead for a hundred years and he still can't figure out he doesn't need these," Spike said as he threw the glasses to the side.
"I can do that," Xander said softly.
Spike closed his eyes for a second. "I appreciate the offer, mate, but I'm not pet shopping."
"No way. Nope, not offering to be a pet," Xander quickly said as he held up both hands. "I'm offering you exactly what I offered Buffy, only with more sex, I'm assuming because I actually really enjoyed sex with you, but Buffy was never one for having sex with me."
"Slow down, Harris. What the hell are you talking about?"
"Spike, I know I’m a follower. I was banging around Africa doing stupid shit like signing up for a manhood ceremony that turned into a shamanic rite because I felt lost. I didn't know how to feel anything anymore. I didn't have anyone to follow. Giles has all the watcher duties. Willow is off learning how to be a white witch without blowing up the world. Buffy is off having a life." Xander bit his lip. "I don't have anyone left to follow, not without turning into Andrew, and if I ever become Andrew chasing after people who don't want me, I really, really hope someone just hits me really hard in the back of the head."
"What are you talking about?"
"Spike, this isn't a dream," Xander said as he looked down at his scars. "My shamanic rites, I connected with you. This really is me. That's how I found you. I never knew that Andrew showed up here or that you called Buffy because I would have been on the first plane out here. I only found out after I got back from Africa. And yeah, I still think you're a pain in the ass, and I can now say that in more ways than one," Xander said with a wry smile as he remembered waking up the day after his first round of butt sex. "I wouldn't have left you behind. And maybe after being a little lost myself for a while, I understand you a little better. And if you're looking for a follower, then I'm looking for a leader."
"No," Spike said as he shook his head.
"What? Is there something wrong with me?"
"Not that, you prat. This can't be real. You don't trust me."
"You know I'm a shaman now, right? Well, it's a little hard to not trust someone you know through the spirit plane. Okay, I don't trust Wilkins in that his advice sucks, but even him, I trust that he's giving me the truth as he sees it. Which is twisted and freaky, but his version of the truth. But the truth you see, Spike, is actually a lot closer to the truth I see, and I never knew that before."
Spike frowned. "What are you saying?"
"Here's how it's going. I found that demon place down on 12th. I'm heading down there."
"Bloody hell, no. That place is dangerous," Spike snapped.
"Oh yeah, I think I got that vibe. But here's the deal. I'm walking in there, telling them that my master sent me and ordered me strapped into a chair, and that you're going to do whatever you're going to do when you get there. Tattooing, piercing, branding, I'm up for it, and I trust you, Spike."
"You wouldn't."
"I would because I trust you to come and get me. And if you don't come today because you think this is some sort of dream, I am so very, very screwed. At that point, I hope you eventually check it out and track down whichever demon enslaved and/or ate me."
Xander turned away from the mirror and looked at the empty room. Behind him, he could hear Spike yelling. "You bloody moron. You don't go near that place, you hear me? Harris? Are you listening to me?"
Xander grabbed his coat and walked out. Night was falling soon, and if Spike believed him, he'd be coming. Xander needed to go through with this if he wanted Spike to understand just how deep Xander's trust went. Xander had touched Spike in the spirit realm. He understood Spike's heart, and he was judging it worthy.
Xander was one foot inside the door of the Painted Lady salon when he started having second thoughts. He trusted Spike, but the demons in this place, he wasn't trusting. Trying to make himself as small as possible, Xander edge to the counter. The man behind it had a shadow form of a demon overlaid across a human form, so Xander knew that he looked human to everyone else. Xander swallowed when a shadow tentacle reached out for him.
"What do you want, human?" the demon asked, so Xander was guessing that this guy had already figured out Xander was a shaman.
"My master ordered me here," he said softly as he tried to keep his heart from exploding. The shadow tentacles became solid ones, and one shoved Xander's back, trapping him against the counter.
"I don't see a collar."
"I haven't earned one," Xander said as he tried to swallow and found he didn't have enough spit in his mouth to manage it. He was an idiot. Willow was right; he was trying to get himself killed. And this... this was not going to be a pretty death.
"Who's your master?"
"Spike—William the Bloody," Xander answered.
One of the other demons gave a snort. "The whore."
"He's a master vampire. His credit's good, and if it isn't, we'll have a shaman for sale," the owner shrugged with four of his tentacles. "What does you master want to do to you?" he asked Xander.
Xander shook his head. "I don't know."
"What? You're just supposed to kneel on my floor until he shows up?"
"He wanted me restrained somewhere," Xander hurried to say before he could chicken out. If he tried kneeling, he was so going to run for it sooner or later.
"I hope your master has the cash because that costs extra," the man said as his tentacle went around Xander's wrists and started pulling him toward the back. Xander yelped as one tentacle slid under his clothes, but no one paid him any attention, and by the time they reached a room with a chair that looked like a demented dentist used it, Xander's clothes had been ripped off.
"Oh god," Xander breathed.
"Mouthy thing," the owner complained as several tentacles shoved Xander into the chair. "He want you plugged?"
"What?" Xander yelped.
"Better safe than sorry," the demon huffed, and Xander opened his mouth to say that no, no Spike had said absolutely nothing about plugging him. Unfortunately, the minute he opened his mouth, a gag was shoved in and buckled tightly. A second later, a slick plug was shoved up his ass, and Xander screamed behind his gag. The demon spread his legs and buckled them to the leg braces so that Xander was spread wide open, and then he pulled Xander's wrists up over his head. Bending Xander's elbows around a brace obviously designed for it, the demon strapped Xander's wrists firmly with a wide leather strap.
"Be good," the owner offered with a slap to Xander's cheek, and then he left the room, pushing the curtain wide open so anyone passing by could see Xander. Xander squirmed and pulled on both his ankles and his wrists, but they were both secure. Oh yeah, he wasn't getting out of this without help, and with his hands tied, he wasn't even going to be able to reach the spirit world. Stupid, stupid stupid.
Xander lay there sweating until the plastic was hot and uncomfortable, and he found whole new levels of fear every time a demon walked by his cubicle and looked in. If Spike didn't show up soon, Xander was so very, very screwed. Potentially screwed with tentacles.
"Bloody hell, look what I have here," a familiar voice commented, and Xander sighed in relief as Spike appeared in the open door to the cubicle. "So I'm assuming that either all that rot about you being a shaman is true or I've developed psychic powers after a hundred years of hanging around Dru." Spike pulled the curtain shut behind him.
Xander held up one finger.
"One what?" Spike asked. "One moron chained to a chair?" Spike sighed, and the pissiness just seemed to drain from him. "Mate, this whole plan was beyond stupid. I'd take your gag out, only you have to know there are consequences for doing something this stupid."
Xander nodded that he understood that perfectly well. And as long as the consequences were being given out by Spike and not tentacle guy, he'd live with it.
"Wait, were you holding up a one to mean the first part was true—that you're a shaman who's been mucking about in my dreams?" Spike asked.
Xander nodded again.
"I've been known for having some bloody stupid plans, but this one beats the hell out of any of my stupidity," Spike pointed out as he ran a hand down Xander's bound leg. Xander nodded.
"Right then, we need to get some things worked out. Are you doing this because you need this or because you think I need it?"
Xander thought about that for a second and held up three fingers.
"No third option, pet. You have to tell me which is the bigger motivation for you. Do you need this or do you think I do? Why did you let a demon strap you down like a two-bit whore?"
Xander thought about that, about the feeling of hopelessness he'd felt in Africa. He'd actually been looking forward to pain because he'd wanted to feel something. He held up one finger. Spike raised an eyebrow at him.
"So, you didn't tell the chits where you were going, you lied to them, or you told them you were coming to find me and they couldn't give a toss," Spike said. Xander grimaced and held up two fingers.
"William shouldn't have told you all that rot about what we feel. He shouldn't have told you that I needed this," Spike said as he circled the chair. "You think you understand what it means, but you bloody don't."
Xander just watched. "If you lied to me and went running off, I'd be buying one of those harnesses you see on the kiddies at the mall, and keeping you on a leash until you learned better." Spike grimaced. "Bloody hell, I can't do this." He reached down and unhooked the gag, pulling it out before he reached for Xander's wrists.
"Don't," Xander said softly. "Not yet."
"Not yet?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
"Look, I'm not exactly in a position to argue here," Xander said as he looked at his own body strapped down on the chair. "But at least listen to me."
"Talk fast," Spike said.
"I'll accept whatever decision you make as long as you agree you'll listen to me. And if that means that after we talk here, you send me back to England, then I'll accept that too."
"You'll stop popping into my dreams?" Spike just about growled.
"Um, I kinda can't," Xander said apologetically, and the thunderous expression on Spike's face made him wish he weren't tied down. "I have five spiritual links. If I ignore one, the spirits attached to that link will gain more and more power over me. It's the universe's way of making sure I don't ignore whoever they decided to hook me up with. I mean, I have Wilkins behind door number two, and I have to call him up and let him go on and on about how I should clean my room and dress nicer," Xander pointed out.
"Wilkins?" Both Spike's eyebrows went up.
"Yep. So I'll still have to call on the connection or else you'll end up having way more power over me than you do right now. And right now, I'm thinking most of the power is so totally yours," Xander pointed out.
Spike sighed and threw the gag at the counter. "Bloody hell, you just had to go and muck with the mojo, didn't you?"
"Hey, no one around to keep me in line," Xander pointed out with a smile. The look Spike gave him back was not even the least bit amused.
"I have enough of William in me to respect you, what you've done. I have enough of William to try to avoid doing things in public like forcing you to your knees. I'll even listen to whatever harebrained ideas you come up with, although based on your track record, I'm almost guaranteeing that I'm not going to go along with any of them. However, I'm a demon Xander."
"I got that," Xander nodded. "And I trust you to be the demon that takes care of me."
"And if I said that I was going to give you a piercing, right now, no chance for you to back out?"
"I think my chance to back out ended when tentacle guy strapped me down," Xander pointed out. "Probably it ended the second I walked through the door."
"So what if I told you that I'm going to gag you and not give you a choice about where I pierce you?" Spike asked, and Xander understood the challenge perfectly.
"Do it, Spike," Xander said. Spike frowned at him for a second and then went and got the gag.
"Not bluffing mate."
"Neither am I. If you want, I can sing King Henry the Eighth until you gag me out of..." Xander was cut off as Spike pushed the gag in and strapped it around his head. Xander just lay his head back and relaxed.
"I might give you a piercing right down here," Spike said as he ran his finger on the skin between Xander's asshole and his balls. "I can't believe you let them plug you. You really are a moron sometimes, Harris," Spike said, but this time, he almost sounded like he might actually like Xander. Of course, gagged, Xander couldn't exactly point out that he hadn't actually given permission.
"I could pierce your balls. Every time you came, you'd feel that piercing tighten and pull. Your cockhead would be another good place for a ring. Can do a lot with a pierced cock."
Xander just lay back and waited. No matter what Spike pierced, it couldn't be as bad as the branding had been.
"I might pierce your ankles, slip a ring behind this tendon." Spike grabbed the back of Xander's ankle right above the heel. "It would mean that you could walk, but you'd have to do it carefully to avoid pain. And running would be right out."
Spike sighed. "And you aren't even smelling of fear at all. Either you're off the deep end or somewhere along the line you've decided that you trust me." Xander held up a two.
"Not sure I trust myself this much, mate," Spike pointed out as he went over to the counter and picked up a long needle. Xander closed his eyes. Yeah, he trusted Spike, but he didn't want to see that monster going through him. Spike rattled around some more, and Xander just laid there patiently. It was easy to be patient when totally strapped down and gagged.
Something wet touched his balls, and Xander's eyes flew open to find Spike licking his balls. Xander tilted his head in confusion, and Spike stood up. "It helps with healing and pain, close your eyes, pet, or I'll get you a blindfold." Xander closed his eyes and let his head fall back.
Spike started up again, and Xander couldn't help squirming a little as his cock started hardening. Spike finally gave up on licking the balls, and a mouth swallowed Xander's cock without warning. Xander screamed behind his gag and tried to thrash, but with his legs strapped so wide, all he could do was squirm as Spike slid up and down on his cock. Xander arched his neck and gasped for air through his nose as Spike slid all the way down and then swallowed, and Xander came so hard that he couldn't get enough air.
Spike was there pulling the gag out and whispering for Xander to breathe as Xander's body shuddered through the aftershocks of his orgasm.
"Oh shit. That's good. You can so pierce me anywhere you want after that," Xander said sleepily.
"I already did, pet. You do get lost in your lust, don't you?"
"You did?" Xander raised his head and saw a ring going through the skin just at the place where his cock came out of his body. "You did."
"That's not all," Spike said as he raised Xander's flaccid cock. A second ring dangled from the underside of the slit. "The third one's back here behind your balls," Spike said as he reached back. He flicked something, and Xander flinched at the little jab of pain.
"Vampire saliva helps, but we'll need to let those heal before we do anything too adventurous with them," Spike said. "You know, just for coming down here, I'm half tempted to tell the owner to give you a pet special, a good grooming and dehairing and an internal cleaning that you will not enjoy at all," Spike threatened.
"I kinda deserve it if that's what you want to do," Xander agreed. He was a good ninety percent sure that Spike didn't mean it, but even if he did, Xander was starting to think that things far worse than a grooming could have happened to him, so he probably did deserve it.
"This attitude isn't going to last," Spike pointed out.
"Then you can have fun reminding me what I signed up for," Xander countered.
Spike just rolled his eyes and reached down to pull the ankle straps free. "Let's just get you some new clothes and head home, pet."
Xander just smiled as he felt the fourth scar on his chest warm pleasantly. They'd figure it all out. Sometimes the universe knew what they needed more than they did, so they'd figure it all out just fine.