Thoughts Colored Ugly
Epilogue One
Mal studied the inside of the saloon, his eyes still adjusting from the bright light outside, but this was the roughest bar in the area, so he had to be here. Blinking a bit, Mal eventually found what he was looking for. Ignoring a poker game on the verge of turning into an all-out brawl and two men who stared at him as though trying to consider whether he was worth killing, Mal made his way to the bar. "Jayne, what you doing here?"
"Drinking," Jayne said as he raised his glass.
"Can see that. River know you're here?" he asked as he slid into the seat next to Jayne. If River and Jayne were having some sort of spat, he really wanted enough advance warning to make sure he was at least two moons away before something blew up. Jayne just snorted and took another drink of his beer as he leaned against the bar and watched the crowd in the dusty saloon.
If it weren't for the black slave cuff locked around his left wrist, Mal wouldn't ever guess Jayne was a slave. His body language did more screaming of threats than rolling over and playing submissive. Of course, anyone who knew Jayne Cobb would spot the differences in him now that he did wear River's cuff. The t-shirts with dirty or just downright violent sayings in bold Chinese characters were gone. Instead he wore good quality button up shirts and carried a gun and a knife that were worth about as much as an honest working man made in a good decade. And he was definitely cleaner. But even with all the cleaning up, or maybe because of all the cleaning up, he looked like the most dangerous man in the place.
"Jayne," Mal started slowly, trying to figure out how to say this without sounding either overprotective or just downright stupid. It'd thrown him, not knowing that Jayne had spent months pining for him, and now every time he talked to the merc, he tended to get a tad bit paranoid about saying the wrong thing or not noticing something that apparently every other gorram person on his ship had noticed. "Are you doing something stupid enough that I’m going to have my gunhand laid up in the infirmary again?" he finally just came right out and asked.
"Ai-ya. Why you thinking that? I ain't doing anything but drinking." Jayne frowned at him.
"Weren't but a half hour ago, your owner was looking up one side of the docks and down the other for you."
"Fahng-sheen."
"Telling me not to worry ain't helping my worrying overmuch," Mal pointed out. "Last time River got cranky enough, she laid you open with a bullwhip." Mal might understand intellectually how a man needed to pay for having done something as truly repugnant as turning folk over to the Alliance, but watching Jayne just stand there and take the whip until his blood was splattered across Serenity's hull was something he wasn't really interested in seeing again.
"She seem cranky to you?" Jayne really looked at him now, and Mal thought about that for a second.
"With River, what she's thinking is never really that easy to tell."
Jayne snorted. "River's about as easy to read as a book," he said. "And one of them easy books, not the gou shi she reads when she's thinking too hard about core things. Some of those books in her room are filled with nuthin but rows of numbers on numbers and she says she can see the universe in them. She's a good site easier to read than them things."
"Ain't no one on the boat who can read River but you," Mal pointed out. Was true too. Pissed Simon off no end that he just didn't seem to be able to track his sister's thoughts like he used to.
"She breakin' anything when she was looking for me?" Jayne asked.
"Not so's I noticed," Mal admitted. "Just flinging stuff around a whole lot."
"Then she ain't mad," Jayne shrugged.
The bartender delivered a beer without even asking Mal what he wanted, and Mal just paid up as he thought on that. "Shouldn't she know where you're at?"
"Kinda defeats the purpose," Jayne said, frowning at him. Mal worked hard at not yelling at the man because it wasn't that Jayne was trying to be annoying nearly as much as it was that the man didn't think things through nearly as much as he should.
"What purpose would that be?" Mal asked as calmly as he could.
"Hide and seek."
"Tyen shiao-duh. You're playin' with her? She's done tore through three cargo holds. You're putting all that cargo back, every crate and stick," Mal threatened. Gods in heaven, she had near thrown the cargo off the ship searching for Jayne, and this was a game. He just knew it was going to be his shi getting broke when these two started wooing.
"If'n she wins, I am," Jayne shrugged.
"If'n?" Mal asked incredulously. River versus Jayne didn't rightly seem like a fair battle of wits.
Jayne gave him a wicked smile. "Yep, she's going to win, but I'll give her a good run. Rules say she can't use her mind to find mine." Jayne's pleasant expression suddenly darkened. "Cao. But she can use your mind, and here you are sitting and getting all cozy. Gan ni niang." Jayne practically growled at him before he downed the rest of his beer and slammed the mug down on the bar a good bit harder than he needed to.
Just then a boy came running into the bar. "She's a'comin' mister!" Jayne pulled a coin out of his pocket and tossed it at the boy before he took off running for a side door.
"Jayne!" Mal called, but the door was already swinging closed. Only seconds later, Mal could hear the boy outside pleading in a loud voice.
"Please, can't you help me find my pa?"
River came through the door to the bar, the boy Jayne had paid still clinging to her skirt. She ignored him.
"River?" Mal asked. Jayne might think she was playing, but that was not a happy expression. If a woman who Mal was bedding had that particular expression, he'd be looking for another place to spend the night.
She stopped and looked at him before glancing down at the boy. Jayne clearly hadn't paid him enough to deal with a riled up woman because he let go and ran for the door.
"Now River," Mal tried placating her as he stepped into her path, which was exactly where he didn't want to be, "Jayne was only having a drink."
River frowned at him, cocking her head to the side for a second. "Captain is stupid," she declared. At one point, Mal might have argued that point, but after the strange going-ons in his ship, he was starting to think he might be. It would explain why he didn't understand his gorram crazy crew no more.
"Come on," River said as she caught his hand in hers and before Mal could come up with a good argument as to why this was a horrible idea, he found himself getting pulled behind River as they hurried out the side door.
"Damn. Which way?" River asked the air or herself or whoever River talked to when she didn't expect an answer. Standing just outside the back door to the bar, she frowned as she stared both ways down the dusty alley filled with crates and other leftovers from the day's business. Mal opened his mouth to point out that her holding his hand wasn't exactly proper, but then she was off down the alley. They raced past another barefoot urchin before turning south and closing in on a warehouse.
Mal stumbled and gasped for breath, but River was still pulling on him, and the strength of her grip did make him flinch. He couldn't imagine how much stronger she'd seem when she held a whip. River dragged him through a door into the dim interior of a half-empty warehouse before letting go of his hand.
Bending over, Mal gasped for air and watched River stalk around a row of crates. "Fee, fi, fo, fum, I smell a Jayne-man."
When a shadowed figure leapt from behind a crate and tackled River to the ground, Mal had his gun out and aimed before he could even identify the huge shadow as Jayne. He watched, his mouth most hanging open as River and Jayne traded a series of blows that were anything but playful. Jayne nearly took River's leg out from under her, his boot connecting with her thigh so hard Mal could hear the thump. She staggered back a half step, but even Mal missed seeing how her stagger put her in a position to duck and sweep both Jayne's legs out from under him in a vicious kick.
Jayne fell to his stomach, his hands coming out to break his fall as he cursed colorfully, and then River was on him, twisting one arm up behind his back so high that Mal's shoulder ached in sympathy.
"Give up?" River asked cheerfully.
"Get offa me. Guay."
"Jayne needs to know that he's mine because I'm strong enough to make him mine, but captain is all stupid thinking that I would ever hurt Jayne," River said.
"The cap's here?" Jayne squirmed, and River twisted his arm harder.
"Ai-yah. Tyen-ah."
"That looks like it's hurting him," Mal pointed out as he holstered his gun. He circled around wide so he was on the side Jayne's face was turned to because River now had her knee in his neck, keeping him from turning his head to see him. Didn't seem fair to stand in a man's blind spot while he was getting beat on by a woman half his size.
"No different from you not following officers who are so stupid as to walk into an ambush," River said as she stared at him real hard, and Mal just froze. Damn. So she'd plucked that memory from his head. "You want a smart officer. Jayne wants a strong partner." She shrugged as if they were just having some casual conversation, only Mal didn't normally have a palaver about the war or when one of his crew was face down on the floor.
Jayne grunted under her. "Jayne thinks," he said, talking about himself in third person, "you've made your point, so maybe you could ease off before you break Jayne."
"When did you take up talking about yourself in third person?" Mal asked.
"What? If anyone's the third person here, it's you," Jayne argued. "Are you planning on having him be the third person here?" Jayne asked, and River looked at Mal with her head cocked.
Mal realized two things. One, Jayne wasn't any smarter now than ever, and two, he really did not want to be the third person here.
"I'm just showing the captain that he can stop being stupid now," River said. She pulled a short chain from the back of her belt. "Other arm," she said cheerfully. Jayne didn't make a move to bring his free arm around, and River twisted the captured arm hard enough to make Jayne grunt in pain.
"Alright, alright. Ai-ya. You ain't goin' to like it if I'm in a cast after you twist my gorram arm off. You'll be fixing up the captain's cargo on your own then."
"Give me your other arm and I won't have to put you in a cast," River said in that same sweet voice she used to ask people to pass the rolls at dinner. It was just creepifying. Mal watched Jayne bring his other arm around to this back and she quickly cuffed him.
"You lost," River said as she hopped up and pulled Jayne up to his knees with a hand under his arm.
"If it weren't for the captain bein' stupid and leading you right to me, I wouldn't'a gone down so fast," Jayne complained as he gave Mal a real unhappy look.
"You talk to the captain for a minute. Rats in the shadows chewing on song words," she said as she headed farther into the warehouse with no more explanation than that and Mal found himself face to face with a chained and kneeling Jayne. Funny, even now the man didn't have the look of any slave Mal had ever seen. He was dusty from getting shoved face-first on the floor, but he still had the look of a real well-dressed and well-armed killer, the kind who could afford the sort of fees that meant they could afford to waste 800 credits on a gorram knife. In fact, it'd turned into a bit of a joke on board because all the women-folk took Jayne shopping with them, even Inara. One glare from Jayne and prices tended to fall dramatically.
"Song words?" Mal asked.
Jayne shrugged, and then winced before doing it again to stretch the abused shoulder. "Something ain't right. She won't wander far. More interesting part is her wanting me to talk to you. Ain't sure what I'm supposed to be saying to you."
"Never stopped you from saying gou shi before," Mal pointed out.
"Yeah, but if she just wanted me to go insulting your gorram bad cooking she wouldn't have ordered me to talk to you. So, I figure you got some question rattling around in your brain."
Mal sighed as he looked at his merc and then focused on the door. What he wanted to do was leave, but with Jayne chained and helpless, he didn't feel right abandoning the man.
"We gonna be here a long time if you're waiting for me to figure this out on my own, Mal. Better if you just cough it out before my knees get too sore."
"What… she'd leave you… until we talked?"
"Reckon so," Jayne shrugged. "Once she tells me to do something, she ain't real quick to let me outta doing it."
"Jayne…." Mal looked at his mercenary feeling more than a little concern here. Problem was, Jayne still wasn't looking all that worried. Jayne was just looking at him all cranky, and it wasn't even as if Mal had done anything except try to help Jayne, and that weren't happening again. Jayne sighed as he slid to the side and sat on his butt and pulled his legs up under him.
"I ain't exactly in a position to make you talk, but if you don't tell me what you're thinking that has her all worked up, I'm putting the doc's best laxative in your food," he warned.
"Don't you threaten me, Jayne Cobb." Mal stepped forward, and the very fact that Jayne was still sitting on the floor and still chained made Mal back up faster than any answer Jayne could have given him.
"What bug crawled up your ass and died?" Jayne demanded.
"I don't like seeing a member of my crew hurt and helpless," Mal snapped.
"Si lang gou. You got the same brand of stupid as Kaylee."
"I ain't stupid," Mal said darkly, "except where it come to you letting River take the liberties she takes. It's one thing to wear a woman's cuff, or a man's either for that matter," Mal quickly added as his brain reminded him that the whole gorram crew thought he would be the one to cuff Jayne. Sometimes he wished he had because he would have treated Jayne with a good sight more respect than River were. "I just wished I could trust you to say 'no' when she goes over the line."
"You wished… what?" Jayne looked up at him like Mal had just went and grown another head.
"When she goes over the line, I guess I will." Jayne had that on-edge tone to his voice now.
"And you ain't calling this over the line? I understand how wanting after woman can lead to makin' poor choices—"
"You saying I'm thinking with my kua xia wu?"
"Yes!"
"River ain't the only crazy on that boat. Got a whole ship full of 'em, don't we?" Jayne snorted, and that sudden humor just sent Mal right off the rails into a whole heap of confusion.
"What?"
Jayne chuckled and shook his head. "Told ya she took thoughts from me, don't know why you're getting your knickers in a twist now."
"Because she seems to be embellishin' some on those thoughts. As much as you ain't for sittin' still, I don't think you ever had thoughts of being chained and kneeling on the floor of your own quarters all night while she reads. Tell me that came from the brain of Jayne Cobb," Mal challenged him.
Frowning for a second, Jayne just shrugged. "The reading's all her, but I like some'a the stories. And the fact is I like her holding the leash, Mal. I go and get stupid and you ain't good at stopping me. Sometimes I just like a little reminder of how strong that hold is she's got on the leash, and when she comes back, ain't gonna mind that at all. Wonder if she'll chain me up and heat my back with a whip so's it's all hot and sensitive before she trails fingers over it making me go all… hun dan… can't even rightly describe how good that feels. Or maybe she'll just lay me out and ride until I'm just about ready to explode, pinchin' it off when I try to come and then starting to ride all over again once I can't come. Poured chocolate on me once, so hot I damn near bellowed, and then slowly licked it off until I couldn't think enough to say my own name."
Jayne's eyes just sort of glazed over, and for the first time, Mal really did see the submissive come sliding out of Jayne. The killer and the man who weren't all that bright just sort of faded and what was left looked a lot like an oversized boy with a bright face like he was just set in front of a whole heap of Christmas presents and told they were all his.
"I do respect Jayne," River said, her voice a whisper right behind Mal, and he just about leaped out of his own skin.
"Ai-ya, don't go sneaking up on a man."
"Wasn't sneaking. Was walking," River said as she walked over and crouched down in front of Jayne. Mal watched her stroke his cheek until Jayne's eyes half-drooped like a happy dog that was getting a good scratch. "Am going to make Jayne ache all over for being so fast at running," she said just loud enough for Mal to hear, and Jayne didn't even twitch at the threat. "Make Jayne ache and then confiscate his shirt so I can watch him put all the cargo away with his muscles straining. Sit on the walk with Kaylee and make comments about my beautiful Jayne. I made sure I flung it real far, too," she said. And still Jayne had that droop-eyed expression going.
River stood, her hand still resting on Jayne's head as she turned and faced Mal. "I do respect Jayne. I get all lost in emotions sometimes, but Jayne is strong and solid and never lost on what he feels, even if he does sometimes draw illogical conclusions based on the objective datum. I need his strength as much as he needs mine, and you needed to see that. But the next bit, you don't need to see. I want to ride Jayne until he's sweating and hot and loses all control over the evacuation of blood from the spleen. Make Jayne bellow and twitch and then ride his thoughts into the quiet."
Mal listened, but what she said wasn't making two bits' worth of sense, at least not past the part where Jayne was somehow emotionally strong. Mal was the first to admit that Jayne was about the best damn man for the job if it took brute strength, tracking, or shooting, but he hadn't ever thought on Jayne as being particularly emotionally stable. Then again, compared to River, most anyone had to be a bastion of emotional stability. Either way, Jayne was looking… Mal glanced over and Jayne's eyes were totally closed now as he leaned into River's leg… Jayne was looking happily submissive.
"Reckon I should be going now," Mal said as he started backing away.
"Yep, and should stop being stupid," River offered. Mal turned and headed for the door, ignoring the chuckle from Jayne he could hear as he let the door fall shut behind him. Yeah, he was pretty much stupid if he'd thought he had to ride to Jayne Cobb's rescue. He was also pretty in need of finding himself a good whorehouse. Shiong mao niao. He could'a had that for himself and he'd been a gorram idiot all that time when Jayne was trying to make him happy. And now, he got the real special added bonus of watching someone else enjoying that willing submission. Sometimes he swore, the 'verse just really didn't like him much.