Dark, Still Water
Rated TEEN

18. Chapter Eighteen

O'Neill sat sprawled across two chairs in the small waiting room in Fort Lewis' Madigan Army Medical Center. Daniel and Elizabeth had finally retreated after every attempt to offer kindness had led Ellison to become increasingly aggressive. Carter had followed.

"You're going to wear out the floor, Ellison," O'Neill said wearily, but then he'd said the same thing at least four times already. Teal'c was unsure why he bothered to repeat himself because Ellison clearly had no intention of stopping. The nurse looked up from his computer for a second, no doubt wondering if Ellison and O'Neill were going to have another round of mutual insults and accusations. However, Ellison's phone rang, precluding any further argument.

"Ellison." The anger on Ellison's face softened to grief as he listened to the other end of the conversation

"He's still in surgery, Simon. The last we heard he was holding his own." Ellison looked over and glared at O'Neill, no doubt reacting to something his superior had said.

"Yeah, well I don't think O'Neill is trying too hard to get you clearance, Simon."

O'Neill looked toward Ellison, no apology in his eyes, before he returned to staring at the ceiling tiles.

"We're close enough for me to hear him, so I'm good." Ellison paused. "It's not like they don't know already. If they're planning on something other than annoying the piss out of me, I can't do much about it now."

"Get over yourself, Ellison," O'Neill suggested.

Ellison did not answer. "I just plan to stay with Sandburg." Another pause. "Consider this a request for leave then, Simon. I can't leave Blair here." Another pause. "You already know what I think of IA. And they can put their requests right up their..."

"Oh for crying out loud. You're worse at politics than I am," O'Neill said as he exploded up out of his chair. "Give me the phone." Ellison was clearly shocked, and did not respond when O'Neill plucked the phone from his hand.

"Captain Banks, this is Colonel O'Neill. Look, Sandburg's in bad shape, and if I have to, I'll find an excuse to order Ellison to stay here. So tell your IA department they have just been outranked by an Air Force Colonel who is requiring Ellison's assistance after the man stumbled into classified information. If that doesn't make them happy, tell them that they can either go along with it or I can have the mayor, the governor, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs or the President call them and chew their asses out. It's really up to them." O'Neill didn't wait for an answer; he turned the phone off and tossed it at Ellison.

"Simon's not going to be happy," Ellison said, but he put his phone away without trying to call his commander back.

"Yeah, but he has someone to blame other than you. That's the trick with commanders—give them someone else to blame... unless you're like me and everyone just naturally loves you." O'Neill collapsed back into a chair.

"So, I stumbled into classified information?"

O'Neill didn't answer, but he raised an eyebrow at Ellison.

Ellison moved closer, his voice so low as to almost be a whisper. "Like information on the NID attempting to run a second shadow operation against the alien Goa'uld threat?" Ellison sounded calm, but his body was poised for a fight.

O'Neill shifted in his chair. "Is this a new shadow operation or just them reliving the glory days of their old one, which we took down several weeks ago?"

Ellison frowned for a second, clearly confused by O'Neill's response. Teal'c was confused about why Ellison would reveal this information, but then he had no illusion about being able to understand anything Ellison did. Either the man had motives entirely unseen or he was a great fool. Teal'c had no definitive evidence to support either conjecture.

"It sounded like they were in the early stages of gathering resources. They don't think Major Carter will ever work for them, and their second choice for someone to work computers is a man named McKay, but they seemed to think he is too high maintenance. So, Elizabeth Canarsee was going to be the center of a new team." Ellison sat on a chair across from O'Neill. His back was now to Teal'c, and Teal'c was not sure whether Ellison was testing them or simply no longer calculating danger or escape routes with Blair Sandburg in such immediate danger of dying.

"Awww, and we took her away. You have to feel bad for the NID, every plan they try, we just fuck it up for them," O'Neill said with a not-nice grin.

"You aren't surprised."

O'Neill shrugged. "If you were as good as Sandburg claimed, I figured there was a chance."

"So, does this change my status here?" Ellison asked. Finally Teal'c understood. Like any warrior, Ellison desired to know where the battle lay. Were Teal'c the tec'ma'te, he would have recommended greater caution and patience, but patience was not a trait he associated with Ellison.

"Do you still have seizures where you lose track of everything around you?" O'Neill asked, and all of the customary joking had vanished.

"If I try to use the senses too much, or if I'm under too much stress, yes, I zone."

"Then you aren't eligible for active duty, Ellison. A few men and women develop P-chad every year, and as far as the service is concerned, you're just one more. The only thing your government might offer you is a bed in a top-rate facility with doctors trained to help you turn the senses off."

"Even though they're useful?"

O'Neill stared at Ellison for long seconds, and Teal'c wondered why Ellison felt the need to push this particular argument.

"A lot of traits are useful, Ellison. A manic depressive has a lot of energy during their manic phase. Put naquadah in a man, and he's all kinds of useful until he goes insane. Not even the NID is going to want a soldier with that big of a liability waiting to cancel out any advantage. That being said, I can see where the senses would be useful in civilian life. If you zone, backup is a 911 call away. The frontlines we fight on... that's just not true." Ellison nodded, his body finally losing some of the tension it had carried since the first time Teal'c had seen him. "You'll need to sign confidentiality agreements, but after reading your file, I suspect you know how to keep a secret. I'm not sure your bosses at the police or Blair would trust you nearly as much if they knew how many bodies you have on you."

Teal'c watched Ellison lose the color from his face, but he did not respond. Sometimes Teal'c wondered how humans saw him because his own body count dwarfed Ellison's. Ellison had assassinated individuals when he had followed the orders of his commanders, and in Peru he had targeted entire groups for termination in accordance with his own interpretation of his mission. Teal'c had targeted entire planets. And yet, Teal'c appeared far less bothered by his past than did Ellison. Teal'c accepted those deaths as inevitable. From the way Ellison now studied the lines in the tiles on the floor, he did not have the same ability to accept his past actions.

"Danny still wants to recruit your partner. We need scientists who can keep calm in a crisis situation. The State Department wasn't going to give Sandburg clearance, but I don't think that's going to be an option now." O'Neill laughed. "They're going to accuse me of getting Sandburg kidnapped just so I could get my way despite their very vocal protests."

Ellison looked up long enough to glare at O'Neill.

"Geez, give it a rest. I wouldn’t have done that." O'Neill stopped and glanced over toward Teal'c. "Okay, I might have put him somewhere where he could overhear, but I would never have put him in danger. He's a good kid."

"Yes, he is," Ellison said softly, and then he was up and pacing again. He paused, tilting his head and staring at the wall behind the nurse's station. Somewhere back there, doctors were attempting to repair internal damage from two bullets, and Teal'c wondered whether Ellison was listening to the operation. After a second, Ellison shook his head and then resumed his pacing.

"You know, you could do one thing to help him," O'Neill offered. Ellison stopped mid-pace. "Sandburg gave us some background material on Sentinels, but he refused to share most of it without your permission. The stuff we... liberated... from your apartment won't go to any of our medical personnel without the permission of the author and the research subject. We covert ops people have one set of ethics focused on saving the most number of innocent lives, but these scientists and doctors insist on the silliest things—like informed consent and privacy."

O'Neill's voice sounded dismissive, but Teal'c knew that he had supported Daniel and his quest for ethical standards within the SGC more than once. He rarely did so without complaining about the cost in efficiency, but in the end, he always supported Daniel. In the field of battle, Daniel might act the part of an unblooded child, a cha'til; he had a childlike belief in the goodness of others. However off the battlefield, the man was persuasive and held sway over O'Neill more often than not.

Ellison stepped toward O'Neill, confusion and aggression warring in his face. "You want me to talk him into releasing his research?"

"No, Sandburg already gave us permission. He just told us that we had to wait until we had your permission. So, I'm asking your permission to send his research over to some of our Air Force geeks."

"Why?" Ellison crossed his arms over his chest.

O'Neill stared at Ellison for several seconds, and Teal'c could tell that the man was struggling with a need to say something sarcastic that would probably ruin any chance of his cooperation.

Teal'c took a step forward. In the absence of Daniel or Carter, he felt it necessary to blunt O'Neill's less diplomatic skills himself. "Am I correct in assuming that Blair Sandburg must share his research with others before he may earn the title he seeks?" Teal'c had done research on various titles after being confronted with the issue of rank and honorifics and names early in his stay with the SGC. The assignment of doctorates was far less confusing that the habit of humans to give all their children the same name, like Jack or John, or the confusion over surnames and marriage and hypenations.

"Yes...." Ellison still sounded suspicious.

"He must share his research with others, yet he fears to reveal your name to anyone. Would it not be more rational for him to reveal your name to those who are already aware of the condition?" Ellison's jaw tightened. "The university has fired him, so perhaps this is the best time for him to seek other masters to whom he can appeal to for his proper titles."

"I don't think—"

"Teal'c's right," O'Neill interrupted. It was clear that Ellison was still planning to reject their offer, and Teal'c did not know what more the man would require in order to be convinced, so he stepped back to allow O'Neill a direct line of sight to Ellison. A woman in uniform walked into the waiting room, took one look at the two men glaring at each other, and hurried back out through a door near the nurse's station.

"This is private," Ellison insisted curtly.

"This is Sandburg's life. The Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences at Bethesda will take his research and award him a doctorate without ever compromising your identity, Ellison. They know the names of hundreds of soldiers with P-chad, and you'd just be one more."

"So, I don't have a right to privacy because I'm not unique?" Ellison demanded. The aggression levels were clearly rising.

"You'll get your privacy. But this way, Sandburg gets his degree. And this way, Sandburg can save the lives of good men and women. I was on mission with a man who developed these senses. He just about got himself and the rest of the team killed because he was screaming in pain from a fucking cut on his arm. I laid on his body and half-suffocated him trying to keep him quiet as a patrol passed us. I just about killed a man who I served with... a man who I liked... because I didn't know how to handle the situation." O'Neill stopped and suddenly stood up, turning his back to Ellison. "I almost killed him to save the unit, and according to Sandburg, I could have talked him off the spike in minutes if I'd known what to do. Is your privacy worth that, Ellison? Is your privacy worth the young lives that have ended in the field because the current assumption is that P-chad is uncontrollable?" O'Neill continued to stare at the wall where prints of trees were lined up against the white wall.

Ellison collapsed into the nearest chair and rubbed his hand over his face. For long seconds, both men were silent, and Teal'c waited, not sure how to help in O'Neill's cause.

"I'll sign any releases you need," Ellison finally said. O'Neill nodded without turning around.

Teal'c retreated to the wall and watched as the two men worked on ignoring each other. The nurse behind the desk gave Teal'c a look he could only describe as sympathetic, as though he was to be pitied for working with these two. Minutes dragged into hours as the operation continued. Daniel came and attempted some conversation with Ellison, only to be glared into silence. Carter reported that she had gathered Blair's notes and contacted the director of the Center for Informatics in Medicine Biomedical Informatics. He was interested in, but wary of, such research. Teal'c could only hope that Blair Sandburg survived to defend his conclusions.

The sun was just beginning to light the morning sky when a doctor walked into the room, his face fully of weariness.

"Colonel O'Neill?" he asked. O'Neill was half-asleep, his head resting on his arm, but he jerked awake. He was up a half second after Ellison.

"How is he?" Ellison demanded. The doctor looked at Ellison in shock before turning his attention to O'Neill.

"Colonel?"

"Captain Ellison is the head of Sandburg's protection detail," O'Neill lied. Teal'c did not understand the purpose of the lie, but the doctor immediately nodded in understanding.

"Ah. Well, he is out of surgery. Things went reasonably well, and we have repaired as much of the internal damage as well. Right now we have him on antibiotics for the septicemia, but an operation of this complexity rarely comes without some complications. His lungs are already scarred and he has a mild case of pneumonia unrelated to the shooting."

"He still has the pneumonia?" Ellison interrupted.

"Um, a mild case, yes. We have him on heavy doses of antibiotics, but that poses a risk of drug-induced liver injury, so he's not out of danger, yet."

O'Neill nodded. "How soon can he be moved?"

"Moved?" The doctor appeared shocked at the very thought.

"Yes, moved. We have some of the best doctors and surgeons waiting for him in Colorado, but we won't move him until he's stable." O'Neill crossed his arms and gave the doctor and implacable glare.

"His friends are here," Ellison countered, and he was looking equally implacable. "Or they would be if you gave them clearance to visit."

The doctor looked from one to the other, clearly surprised at the argument. "Well, he's not going anywhere for a few days at the very least. He's in intensive care right now."

"I need to see him." Ellison started for the door that led into the surgical suite and intensive care unit.

"Oh no. He needs rest. You can visit him for a short time later if he wakes," the doctor said, physically putting a hand on Ellison's chest to stop him.

Ellison looked about ready to punch the doctor, and maybe the doctor sensed that because he snatched his hand back.

"Doctor." O'Neill stepped forward and rested his own hand on Ellison's arm. "Mr. Sandburg is privy to some very classified material. Until he is fully aware of whatever is falling out of his mouth, a member of my team will be in the room with him at all times. So, you need to set up a second cot for Captain Ellison. He'll remain on duty until I return from escorting another scientist back to Colorado.

"This isn't..." the doctor started with a frown.

"This isn't open for debate. I will take it up with the base commander if I need to," O'Neill said firmly.

The doctor looked from one man to the other. The doctor stiffened and Teal'c thought he might be on the verge of saluting. "Yes, sir. I'll need a few minutes with the nurses to get him moved into a larger room. But whoever is in there will have to yield for medical personnel. Mr. Sandburg is critically ill."

"I have medic training," Ellison said softly. "If nothing else, I know how to stay out of your way."

The doctor sighed in defeat. "I'll talk to the nurses." He turned and left the room. O'Neill continued to stand for a moment with his hand on Ellison's arm, and Teal'c could not decide if the gesture was one of control or reassurance. Before Teal'c could decide, O'Neill dropped his arm and turned away.

"Thank you," Ellison offered.

"Just don't let me catch you shoving him into any more dumpsters," O'Neill warned. He turned and poked a finger in Ellison's direction. Ellison didn't answer, but he flushed deep red before giving a nod. Considering that O'Neill had treated Daniel poorly on more than one occasion, Teal'c was ready to give Ellison a second chance, just as the team had given O'Neill his second chance with them. Whatever conflict they might have, Ellison had given permission for Blair's research to go to Bethesda, and after talking to Blair, Teal'c had been left with the impression that the man would never do that. Now the only question was why Blair was so convinced that Ellison would never put his research ahead of his own privacy.

"Captain Ellison?" A new nurse stood in the doorway to the surgical area. "If you'll follow me...?" She turned and Ellison followed.

"Come on, Teal'c, we've got another geek to deal with. Maybe we can catch a few hours' sleep on the jet back to Colorado."

19. Chapter Nineteen

Teal'c stepped into Dr. Frasier's infirmary. Blair lay, pale and gaunt, on the white sheets, but he still breathed. Next to him sat Jim Ellison reading a book. The man had claimed the bed next to Blair, and after some negotiating between Dr. Frasier and O'Neill, he had been allowed to remain in the infirmary. "How is he?" Teal'c asked.

Ellison looked up from his book. "His temperature is two degrees higher than it should be, and every time he wakes up, he asks me the same questions."

Teal'c tipped his head and studied Blair Sandburg's prone form. Dr. Fraiser believed the young man would make a full recovery. Knowing that Blair was likely to recover, Teal'c felt a responsibility to address his concerns with Ellison. While the man had proven quite solicitous while Blair was unconscious, going so far as to demonstrate his Sentinel abilities to a small group of doctors who had been chosen to preview Blair's research, Teal'c did not trust the man to remain equally as solicitous once Blair awoke. And as the oldest warrior on base, Teal'c felt the need to act as dis'tra'ju, the master who oversaw the interpersonal relations within the unit. After he had become First Prime to Apophis, Master Bra'tac had taken the role of dis'tra'ju. Teal'c often mused that the older man had taken the more difficult role. At one hundred, Teal'c certainly did not feel old enough or experienced enough to handle this situation. Even Daniel admitted that Jim Ellison's behavior confused him.

"Did you need something?" Ellison asked, putting his book down on the edge of the bed.

"He has faced death before," Teal'c said. While he intended the words only as a general observation, Ellison sat up stiffly, clearly taking them as a prelude to conflict. "Among my people, that gives him a unique view on the world."

Ellison didn't answer right away. Instead, he shifted around on the narrow chair and carefully closed his book, setting it on the edge of the table beside Blair's bed. "So, you believe in that shamanic crap?"

Teal'c considered his answer carefully. Once Blair Sandburg had provided the correct term, Teal'c found a wealth of information on shamanic rites. "I do," Teal'c agreed. "He has sought the spirit realms since he was ten, does that not imply that he feels a connection?" Teal'c could immediately tell that this information was new to Ellison; he frowned at the sleeping figure of Blair.

"He's never had a vision." Ellison sounded defensive.

"When dead, did he not envision himself as an animal, searching the next realm for something which he still lacks?" Teal'c walked around to the far side of Blair's bed, and Ellison visibly tensed.

"The doctor said that oxygen deprivation makes people see things. He nearly drowned."

Teal'c considered Ellison's words, but they sounded untruthful. They sounded afraid. "Do you not wish for Blair Sandburg to be a shaman?" Teal'c could not imagine why a warrior would attempt to stop someone from taking such an honorable path, but then Teal'c could not imagine many things which humans had proved possible. Sometimes he wondered if he should remove himself from Blair Sandburg and Jim Ellison's lives and allow Bra'tac to address the problem when he arrived. However, despite the fact that Teal'c had sent for his former master nearly a week earlier, word had not yet returned. If Blair Sandburg recovered before Bra'tac returned to Earth, Teal'c could not allow the young man to remain in danger. He had attempted to explain the danger to the others, but not even Daniel could seem to fully grasp the risks when a tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah no longer held ties to the world of the living. Too many of Blair's ties had been severed.

Ellison still did not answer, but he stared at Teal'c with great anger. Since Teal'c could not fathom the psychology of such behavior, he decided to focus on the behavior itself.

"Your willingness to allow Blair Sandburg to suffer is dishonorable."

Immediately, Ellison was on his feet, his fists clenched. He strode to the end of Blair's bed, his body language screaming of his desire to physically strike out. "I would never let Blair suffer. I put up with O'Neill and his machinations, I put up with the doctors, and the fucking secret base and the confidentially agreements and threats. I'm doing that because I don't want Blair to suffer."

"And yet, you did nothing to attempt to help him with his difficulties at school."

"Blair's a big boy. He doesn't need me to babysit him."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Blair had clearly described Jim as a mother hen when he had spoken to the healer when he had first injured his ankle. This was not behavior Teal'c associated with such a description.

"Does he not need you to defend him from an attacker with a baseball bat?" Teal'c asked. Ellison's reaction was a mass of contradictions: he blushed, but his fists tightened; his shoulders dropped in shame, but he took an aggressive step forward.

"I would—" Ellison stopped and took a deep breath. "I've made mistakes."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, inviting Ellison to continue, but he fell silent. Teal'c had very little experience with diplomacy, and he doubted that General Hammond would approve of a more physical confrontation, so Teal'c resorted to the truth.

"Your fellow officers believe you capable of abusing Blair." Teal'c watched as the words struck Ellison. They only seemed to fuel his anger, so obviously Teal'c had not achieved his goal. An angry Ellison would be more of a danger to both Blair Sandburg and others. "Both Jack Kelso and the woman with whom he is intimate believe that your behavior is questionable."

"The woman? Who?" Ellison demanded.

"A woman detective within your department," Teal'c said. Ellison's anger grew even deeper.

"She's a busybody. She doesn't even know us," he snapped.

"She knows that you chose to give aid to an enemy before assisting Blair Sandburg," Teal'c pointed out. "I witnessed you blaming Blair for the attack against him, and you were ready to believe that he would have betrayed you by revealing your secret willingly."

Ellison's face turned an alarming shade that Teal'c associated with battle or extreme heat. "Don't pretend you know us. If you want something, just spit it out." Ellison crossed his arms and glared threateningly, not that Teal'c felt threatened. One such as Ellison would have to train for many years or be armed with rather impressive weapons before Teal'c would feel threatened.

"I wish only to prevent the death of a young man who is a shaman. Among my people, to fail to protect one on such an honorable path is a dishonor."

Teal'c spoke truth. His people had many legends of those who journeyed in order for their calak to find the path to the next life. Most found that path only once the primta died. It was said that the goa'uld whispered lies when one sought the next life, but those without larval goa'uld did sometimes learn to travel the path and guide others.

"So, this is just nobility on your part?" Ellison asked with great irreverence. Teal'c chose to ignore the insult.

"A tribe lucky enough to be blessed with the presence of a shaman would die—down to the last warrior—before allowing the shaman to suffer. Your tribe has not honored Blair Sandburg."

"So, this is all because you think Blair is a shaman?" Ellison smiled and shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about. Sure, Blair talks the talk with all that holistic shit, but he isn't a shaman. I knew a shaman, and trust me, Blair isn't one."

"He knew which enemy warrior would return to our side in the fight," Teal'c pointed out. The NID soldier Blair had identified had, within days, revealed all he knew of his superiors. Knowledge of another's heart was the mark of a tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah. And Teal'c's trust in Blair Sandburg's judgment was the only reason Teal'c insisted on believing that Jim Ellison could be taught better manners.

Ellison did not have an immediate answer for that. "He's been around police work for a long time. He's learned to read people," he finally said tightly, and then Ellison turned his back and focused his eyes on Blair's still form. The machinery created a mechanical rhythm. Ellison cocked his head as though listening, and Teal'c wondered if he listened to Blair's body, some distant conversation, or the rhythm of those machines.

"You shall kill him," Teal'c announced. Ellison did not turn around. He reached out and rested a hand on top of the blanket where Blair's leg lay. "He needs a connection to this world, and you offer him shame and guilt. He believes he has hurt you, and you do not correct this assumption. Either he did hurt you, and you treat him so because you wish revenge, or he did not hurt you, and you allow him to suffer guilt needlessly."

"You have no idea what happened." Ellison's voice was tight with emotion.

"I know that he worked with another Sentinel. I know that she drowned him, and that even ill, he chose to follow you. I know that you did not return his loyalty. Is that not correct?" Teal'c had received parts of the story from Blair Sandburg, parts from Jack Kelso, and parts from Daniel's research in the local newspapers, so he could not definitively know the truth.

"My senses were out of control." Ellison fisted the blanket so that the edge pulled down far enough to reveal the mass of tubes that drained the wounds Blair had suffered.

"You were not able to exercise good judgment?" Teal'c asked. Sometimes such things did happen in battle.

"This is..." Ellison simply stopped.

Teal'c could understand the shame. After Rya'c had been drugged into pledging loyalty to Apophis and nearly destroying Earth, he had shown great reluctance to speak of it. Daniel Jackson and O'Neill still refused to discuss Hathor and the way she had confused them into following her. As warriors, their honor suffered under such attacks. Even before joining the Tau'ri, Teal'c had seen cases where fatigue or drugs or just an unusual situation created such despair or confusion that even strong warriors lost their true path. That was when one had to rely upon fellow-warriors. Teal'c had seen Daniel turn to O'Neill when poisoned by the sarcophagus, and Teal'c was often grateful for Carter's presence at his side on missions. Being First Prime of Apophis had not given him the diplomatic skills required for missions, so when he encountered new situations where his warrior's knowledge failed him, he relied on her to guide him safely through the confusion.

"A warrior is not always in control of his actions," Teal'c admitted, not sure how to reach Ellison. "However, confusion should have led you to hold to Blair Sandburg, and yet you pushed him away. If you had been manipulated, you should have repaired the schism between you. You act to keep him close, but you then treat him with disrespect."

Teal'c did not wait for an answer. As long as he remained in the room, Ellison was focusing on his hatred of Teal'c and not his own behavior. At this point, only time could force some truths into Ellison. Teal'c passed the guard at the door with a nod and then exited into the hallway.

"So, any luck?" Carter asked. She had been leaning against the hallway, but she stood when he exited the room.

"I do not believe so," Teal'c admitted. He hoped that Bra'tac would respond to his message soon. Teal'c was not skilled enough to be dis'tra'ju.

"He seems to like Blair, but he treats him like a puppy that peed on his carpet. I don't get it," Carter sighed.

Teal'c thought about Ellison and his unwillingness to respect the shaman. "My mother used to tell the story of Tri'kepa, a young warrior who possessed a magical weapon," Teal'c started.

"That story is not going to end well, is it?" Carter asked with a wry smile. She started walking toward the elevator, and Teal'c followed.

"Indeed," he agreed. "The blade could kill all enemies, but he allowed the weapon to rust. When his mother asked him to go into the woods and return with firewood, he took his weapon rather than take the time to sharpen an ax."

"And he broke it," Carter guessed.

"Shattered it," Teal'c corrected her with a tilt of his head.

"It's a little like the story of the Golden Goose. And Ellison really is about to kill the Golden Goose. I was talking to Janet, and she said that Blair's lungs have scarring. But the records at the police station show that he was still down there every day that Ellison was. On top of teaching and trying to go to classes, he had no time to recover from pneumonia." Carter punched the button for the elevator with far more energy than actually required.

"Shall General Hammond allow Ellison to take Blair Sandburg back to Cascade?" Teal'c asked.

Carter's face twisted in disgust, much like it had on the world with the giant herbivores who had left droppings on the only source of naquadah. She had been most displeased at having to remove the offending material before collecting samples. "It's not up to us, Teal'c. If Blair wants to go back with Ellison, he can."

"Even if Ellison is endangering him?" Teal'c asked. The elevator opened.

"Yep," Carter agreed. Then she smiled as she got in the elevator. "Of course, that doesn't keep us from giving him some pretty damn attractive choices. I called General Greenburg at the academy, and he is very interested in anyone who can help soldiers with Post Combat Hypersensitivity Disorder. He'll make Blair a good offer."

Teal'c felt better knowing that Carter was doing her best to protect Blair Sandburg. He expected that she would have far greater success than he would.

"I really hate that man," Carter said as soon as the elevator started rising.

"Ellison?" Teal'c asked.

"Oh yeah. Being a woman in science and in the military, I always felt like I had something to prove."

Teal'c inclined his head toward her, not understanding the relationship between her statement and her hatred of Ellison.

She shook her head and looked up at the ceiling for a second. "I watched plenty of women, smart women, tear themselves apart because they were always trying to prove themselves to men who never gave them the time of day."

For a moment, Teal'c thought he might have misunderstood a colloquialism. "Why would they be dismissive of good work?"

"Because it came from a woman," Carter said with far more anger than she normally used. "Those assholes thought that women should be home making brownies and babies. Janet's ex-husband even told her she was nuts for going into the Air Force because military service was for men."

Teal'c frowned in confusion, both over why someone would believe such patent foolishness and why their conversation had taken such a turn. Being confused, he simply waited for Carter to say something that would clarify things.

"I see the same thing in Blair. His notes are incredible. He's documented Ellison's senses under a huge range of conditions, sometimes controlled, and sometimes while people were shooting guns at him. He's outlined dozens and dozens of tests and exercises that he developed to make sure Ellison didn't lose control, but did you see Ellison when those doctors came to test him?"

"I did not." Teal'c followed Carter as she exited the elevator with great speed and jerky steps that signaled her great distress.

"He said that what Blair did was 'no big deal.' He actually said that." Carter stopped at the intersection between the cafeteria and the training room. She looked one way and then the other before she looked over her shoulder at him. "Do you want to spar?" she asked. It had been many months since she had requested him as a sparring partner, since Dr. Carter from the alternate reality had come through the quantum mirror.

"I do," Teal'c agreed, and then followed her toward the training room.

"He's a real ass. He lets Blair spend all that time on all that research, and then he has the nerve to call it 'no big deal.' It'd be a big deal if he was sitting in a corner of the room screaming with his arms wrapped around his head. He'd call it a big deal then." Carter muttered the words, and from the way several men detoured out of their path, Teal'c did not think he was alone in noting Carter's bad mood. However, lately it felt as though the team was suffering through these moods individually, so Teal'c was very grateful that she had requested his assistance.

She headed into the training room, and the science officers from SG 14 and SG 12 were using half the room to practice throws. Neither man was particularly proficient, but it spoke well of their dedication that they were willing to practice. Teal'c removed his jacket and shoes and studied the weapons on the wall while Carter stretched.

"It's too bad that he's such a good cop because I really don't want to respect that man for anything," she said as she placed her hands flat against the ground and arched her back.

"His senses are impressive," Teal'c pointed out. When searching for their missing members, Ellison had provided a tactical advantage that had most likely prevented the NID from moving Daniel and Canarsee to a more secure location.

Carter glared up at him. "We're supposed to be bonding over hating him," she pointed out.

Teal'c nodded. He had not known that. Certainly, a common enemy could unite allies, but he had not felt the need to reinforce his alliance with Carter. She stood up and stretched her neck one way and then the other.

"I'm the one who tried to keep him from zoning during the mission, and it was not fun. He was constantly shoving at me. He even put an elbow in my stomach."

Teal'c had not known that either. He raised an eyebrow and wondered whether Ellison had been rejecting Carter, rejecting any guidance other than Blair, or if he was that disagreeable with everyone who attempted to help him.

Carter stepped onto the mat without any weapon, and Teal'c followed her. She raised her hands defensively, and the other men stopped sparring. Teal'c moved in cautiously. Right now, Carter showed so much emotion that she might make a precipitous attack that could lead to injury.

"I had a friend at the academy who spent an entire semester trying to write a paper that would get an A from this misogynistic ass." She darted forward, and Teal'c countered her strike. She twirled and struck at his ankles, and he retreated several steps. She followed up with a series of strikes, and Teal'c blocked them for a minute before landing a blow on her breastbone.

She gasped loudly and fell back several steps, but she kept her hands up, deflecting several follow up blows that Teal'c aimed at her head.

"Did your friend ever earn the grade she sought?" Teal'c asked when they both fell back to more defensive positions.

"No. And she spent so much time on that damn class that her other classwork suffered." Carter circled warily, sweat forming at her brow. "She could never let it go."

"You did," Teal'c guessed.

"My only B," Carter confirmed before kicking at his knee. Teal'c moved to block, and she caught him on the shoulder with a punch that he had not expected. He rolled to one side and regained his feet, catching her arm as she tried to strike him again. He yanked her hard enough to pull her off balance and then tossed her behind him. She ran several steps to avoid falling before spinning back around to face him again.

"You were wise," Teal'c said. Now he circled her.

"Yeah, but that's only because I grew up with a father who I pretty much fought with from the first day I was old enough to talk. I get the feeling Blair is not that good with conflict." Carter shifted to keep him in sight.

"Do you believe he lacks the ability to defend himself?" Teal'c asked.

Carter dropped her hands to her sides, and Teal'c took a step back, acknowledging that she had ended the match. "Teal'c, Danny had to take care of himself from the time his parents died. You grew up in the middle of a war, I had my father, and the colonel." She stopped. "I have no idea what his background is, but I'm willing to bet that he grew up having to scramble for respect."

Teal'c tilted his head. The State Department had provided full backgrounds on both men. "But did Blair Sandburg not live on his own from an early age?" Teal'c asked.

Carter shrugged. "Yeah, but he had a mother who taught him to not get in conflicts."

"She had great conflicts with the government," Teal'c objected.

Carter was already shaking her head. "Teal'c, think about when we went back in time. Michael and Jenny?"

Teal'c did remember the two people who had helped them when they had been trapped in the past. Michael had been most obsessed with having Teal'c sit up front.

"They fought the government, but can you see those two getting in a fight with a person? Can you see them telling someone to go fuck themselves, even someone who needed to get told that?"

"I see." Teal'c had not considered that before, but if Blair had been raised to negotiate in all situations, that might explain his inability to defend himself.

"Yeah, I see, too. That doesn't mean I like it," Carter said. Then she dropped back into an aggressive stance, and Teal'c returned his attention to their fight. Unfortunately, he still had no answers.

20. Chapter Twenty

Blair itched. He really itched. But when he tried to reach down and scratch his stomach, something caught his hand and pressed it back against the mattress. For a second, Blair thought he could smell jungle rot, the musk of water held trapped within leaves and of layers of fallen debris rotting underfoot. Maybe the Kombai tree people had found him and were about to shoot him with a dart. He remembered that. He remembered falling face down in tree litter and scrambling up, leaves caught in his short curls. He remembered them laughing.

The memory was familiar, but it didn't seem to fit. Blair blinked and found himself staring at white tiles. "Wha...?" He tried, but he couldn't manage to get more out.

"Hey, Chief. Do you want some ice?" Jim was there. The old Jim, the Jim who looked at him with worry when he came home late from a date, the Jim who ruffled his hair. Blair wasn't sure how he knew, but he did. Recent Jim had the same face, the same sharp blue eyes and wide shoulders, but he had a hardness to him that was missing now. Blair nodded.

Jim held fingers to his lips, feeding him a small ice chip. The cold was a shock against Blair's tongue, but the few scant drops of water soothed a sore throat. Blair swallowed and realized he had a feeding tube down his nose, which was one reason why his throat hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.

"We're in Colorado," Jim said without prompting. He also offered a second ice chip. "This is O'Neill's base. You were injured—shot—but the doctor says you're going to be just fine." Jim smiled at him sadly. "What am I going to do with you, Chief? You get yourself in a lot of trouble."

Blair tried to wave Jim's comments off dismissively, but his arm was weak and he didn't manage more than a twitch. That's the first time he realized he couldn't feel his body.

"My legs?" Blair asked, panic starting to clear the fuzz from the edges of his thoughts.

"What about them? Do you have an itch?" Jim looked at him with honest confusion and concern.

"Mr. Sandburg?" a new voice called. A short woman in a white coat appeared, her eyes studying the machines that beeped around him before she finally looked at him and smiled. "Before you go back to sleep, I just need to check a couple of things." She pulled out a small light and shone it right into his eyes.

Blair made a little noise of protest, but that didn't get him more than a reassuring pat on the arm from Jim.

"He seems a little more alert this time," the woman said to Jim before she smiled down at him. "You're a fighter; you'll recover just fine."

"What?" Blair managed an entire word this time, but he couldn't get more out. He needed to cough, but he didn't feel strong enough to do it.

"You had some serious internal damage. The bullets perforated the liver, nicked the pancreas, and tore the peritoneal envelope, but you seem to be recovering well. Do you feel any pain?" The woman moved her hand down, and Blair watched as she poked around his side and then his legs. At least he knew for sure that he still had legs.

"Nothing at all," Blair managed to croak out. He sounded like an old man who'd been smoking for about eighty years. Jim offered him another ice chip, and Blair smiled at him uneasily. It was nice to have the old Jim back, but it left Blair feeling edgy, like he wasn't sure when Dr. Jekyll was going to turn into Mr. Hyde.

The woman smiled at him. "Pain can be a problem with this type of injury, so we have you on some pretty serious pain killers."

"Don't like drugs," Blair managed to say. It made him sound petulant, but he didn't have the energy for a long conversation about the overuse of pharmaceuticals in modern medicine.

"Oh, honey, if you didn't have drugs in you, you'd be begging for them," the doctor told him with a tone of voice that almost made Blair believe her. "On the street, it'd cost you about a thousand dollars to get stuff this good, and without it, you'd be in so much pain your heart rate would go right off the charts. But we'll get you off them just as soon as we can safely. I don't lose patients in here."

She meant the words to reassure him, but Blair suddenly realized that he was in a semi-private room with a doctor that appeared like magic the second he woke up. That took money. That took a whole lot of money that he didn't have. Hell, he didn't have next month's rent. Blair's mind darted off to the hospital where he'd been after Alex had drowned him, the beeping of the machine that monitored his breathing and Jim joking about not letting him go because of back rent or something. Blair'd been fuzzy.

"Mr. Sandburg? Blair?" The woman was in his face. Blair opened his mouth to get more air, and he couldn't. He was drowning. Alex's hands were holding him down, and the dark water was rising up, filling his chest and pressing against his heart until he could feel it stop. He could feel his body just stop.

"Chief? Just calm down, Chief. Deep breaths." That was Jim. The woman called for something, but cold was flowing into Blair, pressing against him, and now he had to fight even harder for every breath.

"Blair, it's okay. You're safe," Jim promised him. He looked so worried. Blair opened his mouth, he tried to tell Jim that he shouldn't worry, but a mask slipped over his face, and the darkness pressed up and into Blair until only the darkness existed and Blair slipped away.

~ ~ ~ ~

Flickers of light slid through the darkness, and Blair moved quietly. Alex was somewhere in the dark, her fingers reaching for him, ready to press him into the quiet waters. Recent Jim was here too, scowling at him for something that Blair couldn't ever understand. Kombai warriors and the man Naomi had dated when he was ten and Incacha, his fingers red with his own blood, they were all here. And a woman whose hair flowed with light. She was the source of the flickers that Blair dodged. He tried to make himself small as a mouse so he could scramble away. All of them were hunting him. Alex's fingers brushed against his arm, and Blair shrank from her touch.

"Blair?" Recent Jim was trying to tempt him to come close, but Blair's ankle throbbed in warning. Recent Jim wasn't to be trusted. "Blair?"

He turned away from the calling spirit and tried to escape the flickering light. He could hide better in the dark.

"Blair?"

"His vitals are strong." A woman spoke, and Blair thought he should know that voice. It wasn't one of the ones hunting him, but it still followed him.

"He's awake. He's just being stubborn." Jim sounded unhappy. "Come on, Chief. Wake up for me."

Blair couldn't ignore the direct request. He opened his eyes and stared blearily at the white tiles.

"Wha...?"

"There you are," Jim said with a smile, but it wasn't Recent Jim, it was Old Jim, Friendly Jim. He held an ice chip up. Blair nodded and Jim placed the chip between his lips. It tasted of salt and winter and Blair sucked at it as he tried to focus on the familiar-looking woman in the white coat.

"Where are we?" Blair asked. This didn't look like any hospital he knew.

"We're in Colorado," Jim answered. "Cheyenne Mountain, home of Colonel O'Neill."

Blair frowned. They didn't like O'Neill. Why would they follow him to Colorado? "Um, why?"

"You got yourself shot again, Chief. But you're getting the best care here."

Blair looked over at the woman and searched memories that floated like bits of trash on the sea after a storm. "Dr. Fraiser?" he asked, not sure if he had found the right memory.

She turned and gave him a huge smile. "That's right. That's the first time you've remembered that on your own. You keep this up, and we'll have you up and out of here in no time." She patted him on the leg, but Blair felt numb, like he'd been frozen and hadn't yet totally thawed. "I need you to tell me if you feel anything," she said as she pulled the blanket back. Blair flinched at the sight of his own body emaciated and pale.

"How long?" he asked weakly.

"Three weeks. You've been in and out of consciousness, but you were really starting to worry us," Dr. Fraiser answered. "People in my infirmary are not allowed to die or slip into comas, so you just keep that in mind," she threatened him with a sharp finger, but she also smiled. Blair smiled back.

"Chief, are you feeling okay?" Jim asked. He looked tired, and Blair could see the bed next to his with Jim's pillow and quilt from home draped over it. Fuck. So they were both here. Jim wouldn't have left in the middle of an IA investigation unless O'Neill had issued something stronger than an invitation. Damn that man.

Rather than curse out the colonel publicly, Blair just nodded.

"Can you feel that?" the doctor asked as she poked something into his foot.

"Yeah," Blair said weakly. Jim offered him another ice chip as Dr. Fraiser moved up on his legs, pricking him and then waiting for a nod from Blair. "I can't feel much," Blair complained as she finally finished and pulled the blanket over him.

"You're on some powerful pain killers," she told him. Blair frowned, but she cut him off before he could say anything. "And you're going to stay on them until you have a chance to recover. Pancreas damage can lead to some fairly severe pain and that can raise blood pressure and heart rate. So, until you can stand up and walk to the bathroom on your own without falling on your nose, you're staying on the drugs."

Blair blinked fast, surprised at the sudden steel in her tone.

"You've given her some grief, Chief," Jim said, and he almost sounded amused. "Just say 'yes' to the nice doctor and let her get to her other patients."

"Um, okay," Blair said. A memory bobbed to the surface. He'd been trying to pull at his IV and explain the benefits of homeopathic pain remedies.

The doctor crossed her arms and looked at him for a second as though trying to judge whether or not she could trust him.

"She's not buying it, Blair," Daniel said from the far side of the room. Blair looked over and smiled, and Daniel stood up straight, shock on his face.

"Oh man, I guess I look bad, huh?" Blair guessed. Jim had raised his bed some, so Blair could see just how stick-like he'd become. Of course, he'd lost a lot of weight even before getting shot, but now he'd lost a whole lot. He could start a whole new diet craze with his current body because he was just about model-thin.

"Yeah, you do, hon," Dr. Fraiser agreed. "I have a lot of degrees that say I know what I'm doing, and I don't have anything against your natural remedies once we have the major internal damage healed, but Chinese herbs are no match for a high-velocity projectile through the liver."

Blair nodded his agreement.

"Blair?" Daniel called. "You can see me?"

Blair looked around. "Um yeah. Do I have something wrong with my eyes?"

"Chief?" Jim asked, and he was right there, his nose an inch from Blair's own.

"Do you see any damage?" the doctor asked, and then she was there with her little light. Oh yeah, Blair remembered hating having her shine that thing into his eyes. She'd done that a lot.

"No, no damage that I can see," Jim said.

"Well, you're more likely to see something than I am, but I don't see anything either. Blair, why do you think something is wrong with your eyes?" Dr. Fraiser asked.

"Um, I don't. Daniel just acted surprised," Blair said with a weak wave toward Daniel.

Dr. Fraiser and Jim exchanged odd looks. "He's still confused. His brain is still trying to fully wake up," Dr. Fraiser offered.

"What is wrong with you two?" Blair asked, wrinkling his nose in annoyance at the feeding tube jammed down it. "Daniel acted weird that I could see him, so I just thought I might have something wrong with my eyes."

"Don't get upset, Chief," Jim shushed him, and Blair glared at the man.

"Could I get a sedative?" Dr. Fraiser asked someone on the other side of a curtain.

"No!" Blair and Daniel said at the same time.

"Blair," Daniel said with a desperate edge to his voice, "I'll explain all this later, but right now, you can't let them give you a sedative, which means you can't get upset."

"I'm not upset. I'm okay," Blair said, holding his hand up to stop Dr. Fraiser from giving him anything. Jim caught his hand between his own palms and held it. "I'm okay," Blair insisted a little louder.

"But you see Jackson?" Jim asked.

"No, tell him I'm a dream. I'll explain later, but no one can see me." Daniel took a step closer. Blair looked from Daniel to Jim, caught between wanting to help one and not wanting to lie to the other.

"Hypnopompic hallucinations aren't unheard of during recovery," Dr. Fraiser said kindly.

"He's really here," Blair insisted.

"It was an accident on P7X-377. The team was hit by radiation that came from a crystal skull," Daniel said, the words tumbling out faster than Blair had ever heard the man talk. It suddenly occurred to Blair that Daniel wasn't joking. He'd been on another fucking planet and had turned invisible. Blair had thought his life was strange, but the Kombai people of New Guinea had nothing on this.

"Calm down, Chief," Jim soothed him, resting a hand on Blair's chest.

"I'm calm," Blair insisted as he fought to control his racing heart. "But Jim, Daniel really is here. There was an accident..." Blair blinked as the world went out of focus. "Really." He struggled to come up with the name of the planet. That would convince them to listen to him. "P... P3PO..." Blair blinked at Dr. Fraiser who was pulling a needle out of one of the tubes attached to his arm.

"Damn it," Daniel said softly. "I'll be here when you wake up. You can ask for Jack then," Daniel said, but Blair couldn't answer. He could only blink as the dark rose up and he was lost in a land of darkness and flickering lights.

~ ~ ~ ~

Blair sat, small and quiet, within a flicker of light. It was like he was inside the flame of the meditation candle. The darkness swirled around him, angry and needy faces, but Blair filtered them out as he found an island of quiet in his soul.

"Turning your back on others is no better than being part of the oppressive system yourself." Naomi's voice echoed in his memory, and the flicker of light around him dimmed, swirls of darkness crowding against him. Part of Blair wanted the darkness, and part wanted to stay in the light. A face appeared in front of him, and it shifted between the image of the Virgin Mary and Naomi, two women who really could not have been more different. The dichotomy amused Blair. He smiled, and the flickers of light around the woman's face intensified.

A voice called to him, searching for him. For a second, Blair felt himself pulled toward the darkness, toward the voice that called him. But then the light intensified, and Blair found such peace that he couldn't find the energy to respond to that distant voice. He couldn't go out into that darkness; he really couldn't do it alone. He settled back in the light and closed his eyes, reaching something that came close to perfect silence as he listened to the sound of his own heart thumping in his chest.

"Blair?" a new voice came from the darkness. Blair could feel the dark tendrils slip into the light and tug at him. The woman was gone, but her light still flickered around him like embers. Blair knew if he just blew on one, he could find the flame again. He wanted to.

"Blair?" the voice called again.

"I didn't give him this much sedative. Maybe we should run another MRI test."

"Blair?"

Blair blinked. Jim's face was like a fun house mirror, all unfamiliar curves and distortions until he blinked again. "Jim?" He looked around, and for a second, the flickering lights of his dreams were superimposed over the white curtain and medical equipment, Dr. Fraiser and her white coat, and Jim and his black t-shirt and fatigue pants. "Why are you in fatigues?" Blair asked as he looked at Jim's military issue pants. The obvious answer was that Jim had been pulled back into the military, but Blair was hoping for a miracle.

Jim blinked at him for a second. "Well, that's a new question, at least," he said, and he sounded amused. Jim never sounded amused anymore, not since Alex and Mexico and Blair's major fuck-up followed by Jim's major fuck-up.

"Do you know where you are?" Dr. Fraiser asked.

"Colorado?" Blair asked, only 90% sure that he was right. Dr. Fraiser smiled at him. "Cheyenne Mountain," he added.

"I knew it took more than a couple bullets to scramble that brain of yours, Chief," Jim said, and then he reached up and ruffled Blair's hair, a familiar gesture that always sent Blair scrambling to defend his head. Despite the tangles and the indignity, that gesture, more than any other, made Blair feel close to Jim. Jim would slap another man on the back, and even hug another man, but Jim never ruffled anyone else's hair. It was an intimate gesture. Blair smiled, not even trying to push Jim away like he usually did.

"So, why are you in fatigues?" Blair repeated as he looked around for Daniel. No Daniel in sight, so maybe he had dreamed that part.

"Because the base won't wash civilian clothes and I don't feel like driving an hour to the nearest laundromat," Jim said, his eyes crinkled with amusement. "Is that okay with you?"

"You're not...?" Blair stopped and looked over at Dr. Fraiser. He shouldn't have asked in front of someone from base.

"Have I been drafted?" Jim asked. The minute he asked, Blair knew the answer. If Jim had been forced back into the military, he wouldn't sound amused about it.

"So, no?"

"No. I'm here because I have a friend who got himself shot. You do that a little too much, Chief."

"I try to duck. My superspeed must be on the fritz," Blair joked, weirdly feeling like he'd fallen back into the early days of their partnership.

"You seem a whole lot better," Dr. Fraiser said as she shined a light in his eyes... again. He was learning to hate that thing.

"Is that a medical opinion, Dr. Fraiser?" Blair asked. "Like maybe you can start backing off the drugs?"

"He sounds like Sandburg again," Jim said with another ruffle of Blair's hair. He held an ice chip to Blair's lips, and Blair gratefully sucked it in.

"Let's give it a little time. Oh, and now that you're aware enough to actually understand that I'm threatening you, if you try to pull those IV lines out again, you're going to be in restraints, got it?" she asked.

"I'm guessing I wasn't the best patient," Blair said with an embarrassed smile.

Dr. Fraiser shook her head. "Trying to keep up with you and Colonel O'Neill at the same time was interesting. Of course, I could do without that much interesting in my life."

"Colonel O'Neill?" Blair remembered something, something about him having to ask for Jack.

"He's gone. You don't have to deal with him," Jim reassured him with a pat on the arm. For a second, Blair just let himself close his eyes and pretend that Ventriss hadn't happened, that the incident at the dumpster and in Mexico and with Alex... that none of it had happened and he and Jim were still best friends. It was a nice fantasy.

"I'll give you two some time," Dr. Fraiser said before she gave Blair a pat on the leg and then left, pulling the curtain shut behind her.

Blair looked up at Jim, hoping for an explanation. His throat still hurt, and he didn't want to have to play twenty questions with a silent and stoic Jim, but this looked like his old friend Jim, so maybe he wouldn't have to.

"So?" Blair prompted him.

"You're really back this time, huh? No more checking out for days at a time?" Jim asked, and Blair could hear the fear in Jim's words. He frowned, but then Jim reached over and ruffled his hair. "So, it looks like O'Neill knows all about Sentinels or people with P-chad, whichever you want to call it. He sent some of your work over to Bethesda, and you stirred up a hornet's nest over there. Dr. Dubois was ready to write you off as a quack, but he came here, and I showed him a couple of tricks. I think he was impressed."

Blair stopped breathing. Jim had not only talked to someone, but demonstrated his abilities? Okay, this was not Jim. This was an impostor and Blair needed to find the pod before the aliens took over the rest of the world.

"It isn't that surprising," Jim said gruffly, as though he had read Blair's mind. "Okay, so I didn't like them poking around, but I would rather have them poke around me than call you a quack." Jim's mouth twisted in disgust. "That was actually the nicest word Dr. Dubois used."

Daniel appeared at the curtain, or through the curtain, rather. Blair's eyes went wide, but Daniel held up a finger to his lips to quiet him. "Blair, don't react to me or they'll sedate you again. Just nod if you still see me."

Blair nodded.

"Doing the tests for Dubois wasn't as bad as doing your tests," Jim mused. "At least he didn't make me drink sour milk."

"I didn't--" Blair stopped, distracted by the sight of Daniel walking through Jim to reach a spot near Blair's head. "Jim, I'm really tired of being hooked up to all this," Blair said, raising his left arm. It was strapped to a board with a dozen different lines coming off it. On top of that, he had sensors on his chest and head and a tube down his nose.

"No, Chief. You are not taking that stuff off," Jim said, his voice making it very clear that he was on Fraiser's side in this battle.

"I totally get that," Blair hurried to say. "Just, maybe you could talk her into letting me eat on my own. Maybe some Jello or pudding? I really want something in my stomach, you know?" Blair hated lying to Jim. Actually, he wasn't lying as much as he wasn't mentioning the ghost in the room, but it didn't feel good.

Jim stared at him strangely for several seconds. "Please?" Blair pleaded. "Come on, man. Use your powers of persuasion on her. Charm her. She looks scary, and you're good with scary women."

Jim still didn't look convinced, but Blair gave him the best puppy expression he could manage. For a second, Blair thought it wasn't going to work, but then Jim sighed and shook his head. "I'll try. No promises, though," he said as he headed out after Fraiser. Blair waited until Jim was gone and then he looked right at Daniel, waving his right hand to try and get Daniel talking.

"Oh, he'll hear if you talk, won't he?" Daniel asked after a few long seconds of staring at Blair's hand like it was spastic or something. Blair glared. "And he'll get Janet back in here." Daniel walked to the end of his bed. "Got it. God, how do you live with someone who can hear everything you do?"

Blair thought about that for a second and then shrugged. It wasn't like he really worried about it most of the time. Right now, he was more interested in other things. He poked a finger toward Daniel.

"My invisible problem," Daniel said, nodding his head. "The team was on P7X-377 when I found a crystal skull." Blair's eyebrows went up. Crystal skulls were German artifacts used to trick collectors in the 1800's into believing they were buying mystical Mayan artifacts. Why would one be on another planet? And sadly, he couldn't even ask because Jim would be all over him if he started talking to the air. "There was a burst of radiation, and now no one seems to be able to see me. Well, that's not technically true," Daniel said with a frown. "You can see me, and Teal'c knew I was near, but I couldn't communicate with him."

Blair had no answer for that at all. Jim accused him of having a Sandburg zone, but this was... this was too weird even for him.

"The skull was a perfect copy of the Ballard skull, which is a little odd since Nicholas Ballard is my grandfather. So, the team went to find him since as far as they're concerned, I vanished into thin air. And considering that he's in a psychiatric hospital, I'm not expecting much on that front. I was hoping you could talk to Jack for me, tell him that I'm here." Daniel looked at Blair hopefully.

Hopefully Jim had been gone long enough to get out of range, so Blair took a chance and whispered softly to Daniel, "What do you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him I think I'm out of phase or in another dimension or something. Tell him that asking Robert Rothman to try and figure out how the skull works is one of the stupidest plans he's ever tried, and that includes the time he blew up the ships we were riding on. Robert. Like Robert could figure out how a crystal skull could make a person vanish." Daniel made a very unhappy noise.

"He's no good?" Blair guessed.

"He's not imaginative," Daniel said with frustration.

"Oh. Not good," Blair agreed. People who weren't imaginative made great research assistants, and they were probably better at the long, grinding work of replication studies, but they weren't going to ever break new ground scientifically.

"To say the least," Daniel agreed with a sigh as he sank into the seat Jim had vacated. "If he wants an archeologist from my team to look at the artifact, he should ask Nyan. At least he has a little imagination."

Blair tried to place the nationality of such an unusual name. Japanese maybe. "Nyan?"

"He emigrated here from another planet. Jack's... just a little xenophobic," Daniel said with a shrug. "But at least Nyan would have remembered the first rule of archeology."

"Study the artifact in its original position?" Blair guessed. He hadn't specialized in archeology, but he'd taken enough of the classes during his undergrad years to at least know the rules that, when broken, caused archeologists to cringe and swear in multiple languages. He'd even broken that rule at a dig site when he was nineteen, and he could still remember every name the dig supervisor had called him. He'd learned a few new curse words that day. Some good ones, too.

Daniel surged up from the chair and threw his hands in the air. "Exactly! See! That is not a hard rule to figure out, but Robert is in there staring at the skull by itself. Artifacts out of context do not tell us anything. Well, not as much, anyway."

"I'm guessing that it was with other artifacts."

"An altar."

Blair cringed. "Oh man, the altar has to be at least as important as the skull."

"Which is what I would like to tell Jack. If I could talk to him. If he didn't just head home instead of pulling an all-nighter trying to save me." Daniel was pacing, his arms across his stomach.

Blair frowned. Maybe it was the drugs, but that last part didn't make a whole lot of sense to him. "I thought you couldn't talk to him."

"I can't," Daniel said. He sank back down into the chair, and Blair suddenly wondered why Daniel could sit in a seat but he went right through a curtain. Obviously the Jackson zone was stranger than the Sandburg zone.

"So, you need an archeologist to solve the problem, and Jack can't hear you, but he's supposed to... do what exactly?" Blair asked.

"Sit around and worry, that'd be a nice start," Daniel said wearily, and Blair suddenly understood. Daniel wanted some sort of evidence that his absence bothered the team. Blair got that. Actually, he got that way too much. When he was in the hospital after Alex had tried to kill him... after she *had* killed him... he had just wanted to be with Jim. The fact that Jim could go off on a mission—the fact that Jim didn't even need Blair, that hurt more than the pain of water filling his lungs.

"I hear you," Blair said wearily. "Sometimes having these big bad soldier types around is tough on the ego." Blair wanted so much to feel like Jim needed him, but waking up to have a nurse give him a message had pretty much destroyed his illusions. Jim was the soldier, the cop, the Sentinel. Blair was the sidekick. And everyone knows that Batman kept right on fighting crime after Robin got killed.

"Ignore me, I'm just having a really shitty week." Daniel gave him a sheepish grin.

"Yeah, me too. I think. I wasn't awake for most of it," Blair offered with a shrug. Daniel laughed.

"Your week was better than Ellison's. I hear Teal'c and Sam have been taking turns glaring at him. At least, they were until I disappeared."

"Oh man. He's going to..." Blair stopped. "Wait, he's not in a bad mood. Usually when people get in his face, he turns a little cranky."

"A little? If he's anything like Jack, he's more than a little cranky. Entire planets avoid Jack after he has to play nice with the Tok'ra."

"You should see Jim clear out the bullpen." Blair thought about that for a second. "Okay, compared to planets running in fear, clearing out a bullpen doesn't seem all that impressive."

"They're asses." Daniel stared out into space.

"Yeah, kinda," Blair agreed. "But Jim's still here living in a hospital bed for me." He poked a thumb toward the second bed where Jim had set up camp. "Of course, when I was in the hospital after my little bout of getting dead, he went running off to Mexico. I don't think I’m helping," Blair finally admitted.

"Neither one of them makes a lot of sense," Daniel agreed.

"Yeah, but at least yours is off talking to your crazy grandfather. It's a stupid plan, but he's doing something. That has to count."

"Probably." Daniel didn't sound all that convincing. "No, you're right, it does." Daniel stretched his legs out in front of him. "Of course, I need him here since I finally found a way to communicate with the rest of the world, but since when does Jack ever care about where I need him to be? Which is, again, unfair."

"Man, it sounds like you just need to unload."

"I'm not usually this neurotic. That's more Nick's end of the family." Daniel stared down at the floor, and Blair wished he could reach out and touch him, offer a pat on the shoulder or a quick slap on the back. He couldn't.

"Man, you are not sounding neurotic, just tired. I totally understand that."

Daniel looked up, a grin twisting the edges of his mouth. "Yeah, I heard about that—working full time at the police department and at the university and doing your research, all when you had pneumonia. When we had our briefing over your P-chad research, everyone from General Hammond on down were glaring death at Ellison. At least when I work eighteen hour days, I'm getting paid for it. A consultant with a PhD makes a pretty good living in the military."

"Whatever," Blair dismissed the whole conversation. Money really wasn't a topic that he wanted to discuss right now. He was still trying to figure out how he was going to pay for medical care and rent.

"Blair?" Jim stood next to the curtain, one hand still fisted around the white fabric, and the other holding a dish of blue Jello. "Chief, are you feeling alright?"

"Jim." Blair looked from Jim to Daniel. "Um, I can explain this," he hurried to say. He figured he'd better talk fast because Jim was looking at him like Blair had just lost his mind.

21. Chapter Twenty-one

Jim was sitting in the chair again, and Blair could see the doubt and the hesitation crawling over Jim's features like bugs, but instead of striking out and calling Blair insane, he just tightened his jaw more and listened as Blair finished his story.

"I'm not imagining this," Blair said firmly. Part of him wanted to just curl up and pretend to be asleep, pretend that Daniel was a drug-induced hallucination, but he knew better. Daniel needed him, and no matter how hard it was, Blair was not leaving the man hanging. Or in his case floating might be the better word.

"He's invisible?"

"And Teal'c has an alien in his stomach," Blair shot back, perfectly willing to match sarcasm for sarcasm. The only reaction in Jim was a tightening of his jaw. Blair could practically feel the man struggle to control a less-than-supportive reaction.

"Okay." Jim stopped, like he didn't know what else to say. But then he'd already run out of nicely worded suggestions that Blair might be reacting to the medicine or having more of those weird hallucinations where his brain hadn't woken up with his body, so he was pretty much out of explanations that he *wanted* to be true. Reaching up, he scrubbed his hand over his face. "Okay," he repeated, but this time, it actually sounded like Jim was buying it.

"We need to talk to O'Neill," Blair said, fully expecting an explosion at that name. If anything, Jim loosened up.

Daniel must have noticed, too, because he offered an explanation. "Jack's the only one who hasn't given Ellison grief. He seems to think that Ellison is an ass, but he's just a normal ass trying to survive a difficult situation. Sam and Teal'c aren't buying it, though." Daniel shrugged as though it didn't matter to him what people thought of Jim.

"What do you mean giving him grief?" Blair asked. Jim flinched when, from his point of view, Blair started talking to the air.

"I think the phrase ya'mat'te'ra korami comes closest to what they've been giving him." Daniel almost looked pleased at that, and Blair glared at him. Jim had a hard enough time with his senses and now with IA breathing down his neck; he didn't need any more grief.

"Giving who grief?" Jim asked. It was a reasonable enough question since he was only hearing half the conversation.

"Which means?" Blair asked, totally ignoring Jim despite the fact that Jim's jaw was getting dangerously tight.

"Teal'c and Sam have both told him in blunt terms that he's an ass and that the way he treats you and everyone else borders on abusive."

"Whoa!" Blair practically yelled, and Jim startled in his seat.

"It's true!" Daniel said, holding his hands up defensively. "I understand that he's your friend, and I see why you're defending him because I've defended Jack even when he's done some pretty stupid and shitty stuff. However, you can't claim you haven't noticed."

"He's not perfect," Blair admitted. Jim's head swiveled as he obviously dialed up on hearing.

"Not perfect?" Daniel asked incredulously. "I've heard the Sierra Verde stories. Jack and Kelso have been talking ever since you got shot, and I have heard more than I wanted to know about that little trip to Sierra Verde."

"We both made mistakes with Alex Barnes." Blair growled the words, and Jim's back went iron stiff.

"What about Alex?" Jim demanded. "Jackson, if you plan on becoming corporeal again, drop it."

Blair wasn't sure if it was a step forward or back that Jim was threatening Daniel. At least it implied that Jim actually did believe that Daniel was there.

"What mistakes did you make?" Daniel asked Blair, ignoring Jim totally.

"I didn't tell Jim that there was another Sentinel in town. We could have handled this if I'd told him."

"But what about your ethical requirement to keep Barnes' test result confidential?" Daniel demanded. "As much as Jim deserved confidentiality from her, she deserved confidentiality from him. You had an obligation to both your test subjects." Blair flinched because that had entered his thoughts at the time. But he'd already decided that Jim's friendship was worth more than Alex's confidentiality, at least until he came home and found Jim shoving a gun in his face and freaking out. At that point, a good healthy dose of self-preservation had made him just keep his mouth shut. Wasn't that ironic? He thought that he could keep Jim from freaking out any more than he already was by keeping Alex away from him, and it turned out that Alex was the source of all the freaking out.

"Jim is my primary obligation," Blair said slowly, careful to make sure that Daniel and Jim both heard him clearly. "I should have told him."

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "So, if you didn't, that makes you responsible for his bizarre behavior? Blair, that doesn't sound healthy."

"Oh, and you're just a paragon of mental health," Blair struck back. The second he said it, he wished he hadn't. Daniel's expression just closed down, no emotion at all leaked from around the blank mask that was his face. His arms closed around his stomach, as though trying to physically protect himself from the words. Blair flinched from the guilt that immediately rose up.

"I have issues," Daniel said softly. "It hurts like hell that I've given everything to this program and Jack still doesn't trust me to keep a secret when he goes undercover. He doesn't even trust my assessment of my own team. He gives the skull to Robert." Daniel made a disgusted noise. "But the fact that I have issues doesn't change the fact that you do, too."

"Chief?" Jim reached over and caught Blair's hand, rubbing it between his palms. "It's okay. The second O'Neill is back on base, I'll get him for you," he promised.

Blair closed his eyes and for a half second, he just wanted to give up. Sleep called to him, promised him a peace of mind that he couldn't find when he was awake anymore, but that was the trap. Every time he meditated, he could feel that trap closing around him. Sleep... meditation... death... they were creeping closer every time he closed his eyes. And part of him didn't care. He could feel that woman with the lights pulling at him, promising a peace that he had lost years ago. The bigger part of him, though, thought he was just being a coward for trying to avoid his problems.

"It wasn't like Jim didn't have a reason to be cranky, but I do know that he was..." Blair stopped and glanced over at Jim. He didn't want to say too much; he didn't want to bring back the less-friendly version of Jim that he'd learned to tiptoe around.

Jim caught one of his hands, holding it tightly. "I was an ass, Chief. No one down at the station was willing to say it, but trust me, I've heard it enough in the last three weeks to get the point. Fuck, I read my own report from after that incident with Ventriss and O'Neill, and I want to slap the shit out of myself." Jim sounded so damn serious, and Blair hated the guilt he could feel clinging to Jim's words.

"Oh man, I did plenty of shit to help inspire the assholiness," Blair quickly assured Jim. Jim did not handle failure well, and the last thing Blair needed was for Jim to go off into a guilt-inspired funk.

"You are not responsible for his inability to be human," Daniel insisted mulishly.

"You are seriously getting on my last nerve," Blair warned Daniel.

"He should have already worn it out," Daniel shot right back, poking a finger toward Jim.

"You mean the way O'Neill has worn yours out?" Blair demanded. Daniel gave him a look that would have withered iron.

The fight might have kept going, except Dr. Fraiser stuck her head in through the curtain. "Blair, are you alright?"

"Fine," Blair snapped. He was too tired to get this angry, and he could feel the fury draining him. But he still couldn't let it go. It was like he'd lost his balance and no matter how much he flailed his arms, he couldn't find it again.

Both her eyebrows went up. "Would that be why your blood pressure is spiking?" she demanded. Shoving the white curtain back, she pinned Blair with a sharp look that dared him to just try and lie to her again.

"He's seeing Dr. Jackson," Jim said.

"Traitor," Blair hissed in his direction.

"Chief, if this is real, you shouldn't mind her knowing, and if this is a hallucination, Janet needs to know."

Blair settled for glaring at Jim. The return of the old Jim obviously meant the return of the Mother Hen traits as well. For all his aggravation, Blair had to admit that he was a little relieved.

"You're seeing Daniel?" Dr. Fraiser asked. Blair nodded wearily, fully expecting to get subjected to a wide range of brain scans. "Ask him who the newest hire in his department is," she asked instead.

"Nyan," Daniel immediately answered.

"The guy from the other planet? The archeologist?" Blair asked.

"Yep. From P2X-416," Daniel answered with a nod.

"Cool. But man, don't they have their own name for their planet, something that doesn't involve P's and X's? I mean, I know you archeologists love your numerical designations, but seriously, it's their home."

Daniel had the grace to blush. "Nyan's people call their country Bedrosia."

"Bedrosia," Blair said, rolling the name in his mouth. He looked up and Dr. Fraiser was staring at him with wide eyes, her eyebrows raised high.

"Daniel?" she asked, now looking around the room, her eyes searching the corners and shadows. "I need to go inform the general. Daniel, wait right here," Dr. Fraiser said, and then she was gone, her footsteps clicking sharply against the tile. Jim had stood up the moment Dr. Fraiser came in and now he had a wide-eyed look of shock on his face.

"Chief, this is a general who's coming. Just... just don't piss him off, okay?" Jim asked, and Blair couldn't contain a snort. He wasn't generally the one who pissed people off. For half a second, Jim frowned at him, and then his face was again carefully neutral. That bothered Blair. If Jim were totally back to the old him, he would have retaliated with a few snarky comments of his own, but obviously things weren't all that right between them yet.

"Ignore Ellison," Daniel said. He moved to the far side of the room where a soldier stood next to the door to the hall. "General Hammond's a good man, and if he puts up with Jack, he's a patient one. Just tell him that I want Nyan working on the crystal skull."

"Nyan, crystal skull, check," Blair agreed before yawning so widely that it actually made his eyes water.

"Oh, and if you notice, Janet's reaction--that's how your partner should have reacted. Skepticism is one thing, but he practically made you beg him to believe you," Daniel said, but his voice was so soft that Blair wasn't sure if Daniel meant for him to hear them.

"Whatever." Blair dismissed the whole mess. Yeah, Jim had spent a lot of time trying to find an explanation that sounded more reasonable than invisible people, but he hadn't denied anything.

"Oh yeah, that's healthy. Keep making excuses," Daniel muttered.

"Bite me," Blair suggested. It wasn't the most mature response, but he was seriously sick of listening to Daniel rip on Jim. Yeah, Jim might have a few issues, but he was a good man who deserved better than having people give him shit as if everything was his fault.

"Don't let him get to you, Chief," Jim suggested. He patted Blair's leg.

"He has no right to suggest that you..." Blair stopped and looked up at Jim. He so did not want to cause trouble between Jim and Daniel.

"That I was acting like an ass? I told you, Chief, I already figured that one out on my own."

"No way," Blair said sharply. "Man, your instincts were all over the place, and then O'Neill came in and started playing alpha dog games, so you are not taking the blame for all this. Oh shit. Ventriss. What happened to Ventriss?" Blair asked. The second he asked, he knew the answer. Jim's face just shut down. "Fuck. He got away, didn't he?"

"Not for long, Chief. His father cut him off from the money, and he's not used to living on a Wal-Mart budget. We'll get him."

Blair closed his eyes and silently cursed the universe. It hated him. That was the only explanation. Jim tightened his fingers around Blair's leg, a silent reassurance that he was still there, while Blair struggled with his own frustration and anger. His karma was getting to be a scary thing because he so wanted to see Ventriss flayed alive and left for the ants. Jerk.

"Mr. Sandburg?" a deep voice asked. Blair opened his eyes and found an older, bald man looking down at him curiously.

"General," Jim said respectfully. He was standing stiffly at Blair's side, and for half a second, Blair thought he might salute the older man.

"Detective Ellison," the general said, nodding his head in Jim's direction. "So, Mr. Sandburg, I hear you've found our missing archeologist."

"Not missing as much as... um... invisible." Blair waited for the look of disbelief, but General Hammond actually looked relieved.

"Is he here now?"

"Right by the door," Blair confirmed.

"Blair, tell him I want Nyan on the case. And tell him that the context the skull was found in is at least as significant as the skull itself."

"Is he alright?" General Hammond asked, his eyes going to the door.

"He's fine," Blair answered quickly. "But he doesn't want Robert studying the skull. He says Nyan is his best archeologist."

"Nyan?" The general turned and looked at Blair in surprise.

"He would have known in a second that the area where the skull was found was just as important as the skull. Apparently Robert is a little on the... um... unimaginative... side with his research. Nyan is his best archeologist." Blair yawned.

"Chief, maybe you should worry about all this later," Jim said softly.

Blair waved Jim off. He was tired, but he needed to say this. "O'Neill is an untrusting, xenophobic ass who doesn't trust Daniel's judgment."

Daniel exploded. "What! No. No, you did not just say that. When I get my body back I'm going to..." he spluttered for a second. "I’m going to dump all your notes into one big pile. You'll be spending months trying to sort the data."

"Yeah, yeah, threat, threat," Blair said, holding up a hand and doing the 'talk-talk' thing with his fingers.

"Dr. Jackson is threatening you?" General Hammond asked, and he was starting to look more than a little concerned.

"He's threatening my research notes. Man, he's willing to tell me all about Jim's faults, but let someone point out that O'Neill is treating him like an idiot who doesn't know his own staff, and he just gets all red in the face and splutters."

Daniel wasn't spluttering now. He was saying all sorts of things that Blair didn't understand, but from the tone of voice, he was guessing that Daniel was cursing out many generations of his family.

"And he swears in weird languages," Blair added.

"That he does, son," General Hammond agreed. Blair was getting sleepy, but he was almost willing to swear that the general was smiling.

Dr. Fraiser stepped close to Blair's bed. "Sir, Blair is still under the influence of medication."

"I had noticed, doctor," General Hammond agreed, and now Blair was totally sure that the man was smiling at him... or laughing at him.

"Jack should trust Daniel's judgment, but he didn't give the crystal skull to Nyan, and Nyan would have known to look at the skull and the altar together," Blair explained. He closed his eyes. He was just so tired all of a sudden. "And Jack should have told Daniel that he was going undercover. They've been together longer than anyone else on the team, and Jack owed him that. Daniel proved himself. But Jack still doesn't trust him when he says he knows how to handle things like crazy women with killer viruses."

"It sounds like Daniel has been quite talkative," Hammond commented.

"I wasn't that talkative," Daniel objected, but Blair didn't really care to keep up with the rest of the conversation from there because he was watching the lady with the light dancing around her face.

"Her path is only one choice," Incacha said, and either Blair had suddenly learned Quechan or Incacha had suddenly learned English. He supposed it didn't matter in your dreams—dreams weren't supposed to make sense.

22. Chapter Twenty-two

Blair blinked. He was so sick of waking up in this hospital bed. Jim was stretched out on his own bed, one knee bent to support a book.

"Hey, Chief. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," Blair admitted with a frown.

"That's what you get for asking me to lower the drug dosages as quickly as possible." Dr. Fraiser appeared like magic, shoving back the curtain.

"Sadist," Blair teased. She smiled brightly.

"Oh hon, now shouldn't you get to know me a little better before commenting on my sexual proclivities?" She smiled even brighter, but her eyes scanned the various machines and tubes that surrounded Blair. "Now, are you in too much pain?"

Blair stopped and did a self-assessment. His stomach ached and his head throbbed, but it wasn't too bad. "Nothing a little willow bark tea wouldn't solve," Blair said hopefully.

"I think we'll stick with morphine for a while, yet," Dr. Fraiser said. "But we've lowered the dosage so that you'll be a little more clear-headed. Not that we weren't all amused by you on morphine. It was about time someone told Colonel O'Neill a few truths."

Blair flinched as that memory returned. Oh yeah, he'd opened his big, fat mouth way too wide. "Daniel?" Blair asked, looking around.

"It looks like you aren't the only one who sees invisible people." Jim dropped his book on the bed and came to Blair's side. "O'Neill brought Daniel's grandfather back from the institution, and apparently he sees invisible people, too."

"He does?" Blair frowned. That didn't make a lot of sense to him. Okay, if he was being totally honest with himself, he was feeling a little jealous of Daniel's grandfather. For once, he'd been the one with the special power, only now, not so much. And when he started feeling jealous of the guy from the nut house, he really did need to do a little cleaning out of the karma closets.

"Yep. He'd seen them before or something. So, O'Neill and the team took the old guy through, and apparently the aliens who had turned Daniel invisible turned him back to normal."

Dr. Fraiser stopped playing with Blair's tubes and wires. "You hear a lot for a man who doesn't leave the infirmary. And here I thought Blair was exaggerating your range."

Jim didn't answer, but then Blair didn't expect him to. Jim might have shown off a few Sentinel tricks to make the Bethesda doctors happy, but the man was so not ready to take out any billboards.

"So, Daniel's grandfather played translator. That's good." Blair ran a thumb across his blanket. These people had to have the most interesting military reports on the face of the earth. On the face of any planet, actually. Blair was still having a little trouble wrapping his brain around that one.

"He actually ended up staying on the planet. But if I know O'Neill, he would've had a lot of trouble believing Nick if you hadn't already seen Daniel," Dr. Fraiser offered.

"So, any chance I can do something really exciting today like pee on my own or eat or get pushed around in a wheelchair?" Blair asked hopefully.

Dr. Fraiser gave him an indulgent look. "I'm starting to think you don't like my company."

"Oh man, no way. I never turn down the company of a beautiful woman. But absence makes the heart grow fonder," Blair said with a smile. Dr. Fraiser shook her head.

"Give it up, Chief. She makes that Nurse Ratched you dated look like an absolute pushover." Jim sat on the edge of Blair's bed, and Blair had to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Jim's leg. He had a weird feeling like this old version of Jim was going to vanish at any time.

"Oh, I don't know. I have a secret escape route or two I might share," a new voice offered. Blair looked up to see O'Neill leaning against the door. With a nod, he sent the guard out into the hallway.

"Colonel," Dr. Fraiser said with all the friendliness of a tarantula. "If you encourage him to get out of bed, I'm going to find an entire series of vaccinations that you need to have redone. And I have the needle waiting with your name on it."

"Chocolate pudding is as deviant as I plan on being," O'Neill told her, holding up a dish of pudding. Dr. Fraiser stood there with her arms crossed for a second before she shook her head.

"Make sure his blood pressure doesn't spike," she warned before she walked out of the room. Funny, Blair always thought of the military as stripping people of personality and reducing them to 'yes, sir' and 'no, sir,' but these people were definitely not light on personality.

"Food, give it," Blair demanded. The feeding tube was gone, so logically the doctor did plan on letting him eat again, but he wanted food now, before she could change her mind and decide he was too sick—or before he could fall asleep. He was so totally sick of being asleep.

"Pushy little shit, isn't he?" O'Neill asked with a smile as he offered the dish.

"Yes," Jim immediately agreed. "So, what can we do for you colonel?"

"What? I can't just visit?" O'Neill leaned against the end of the bed and watched as Blair shoved a spoonful of chocolate in his mouth.

"If you bring food or escape routes, yes," Blair said just as soon as he swallowed. Heaven. "But that doesn't change the fact that you are so on the shit list." Blair poked the plastic spoon at O'Neill before he dug in for another bite.

"I'm on the shit list?" O'Neill demanded with more than a little amusement. "I'm not the one who got someone else's geek all worked up. Besides, you owe me for keeping Daniel away from your research notes. You should know better than to piss off an archeologist, Sandburg. The man has the patience to make revenge really work for him."

For half a second, Blair considered apologizing, but he was fairly sure he hadn't said anything that wasn't true. Oh, he'd said lots of stuff he shouldn't have, but he was almost positive it was true stuff. But then the best defense was a good offense; he'd learned that from Jim. Blair poked his spoon at O'Neill again. "Oh man. You take the cake. You're the one who's pissed all over that relationship, so if someone has to worry about Daniel and revenge, that would so be you."

"Yeah, but my paperwork is so disorganized, I wouldn't know if he raided it." O'Neill stopped and tilted his head as though thinking. "Actually, he may have already tried. It would explain why my personnel evaluations vanished." O'Neill shrugged.

"Colonel, what are you doing here?" Jim asked, and this time, he sounded not even a little amused.

For a second, O'Neill just looked at him. "Okay, let's play this straight. Sandburg, how did you find out about the undercover mission where I didn't tell Daniel about my cover?"

Blair felt the sudden chill in the room. "Um... I don't know. The guys in the warehouse might have talked about it."

"And the incident with Linea?" This time O'Neill crossed his arms, and Blair definitely felt the chill. Jim did too because he stood up at Blair's side, his hands clenched in fists.

"Who?"

O'Neill looked at him for a second as though trying to decide if Blair was just playing stupid. "The crazy lady with the virus. The one who I didn't trust Daniel to handle." It took Blair a second to remember those were his words from the last time he'd been awake.

"You're interrogating him?" Jim stepped up so that he was chest to chest with O'Neill, and if someone didn't do something, Blair was fully expecting to see fists flying. Unfortunately, the doc was gone and Blair did not think he was up for throwing himself between two alpha dogs trying to metaphorically pee on each other. "He's lying in a hospital bed because you pulled him into this crazy world of yours, and you're interrogating him?"

"I’m asking him, Detective. If I were interrogating him, you both would know the difference. I'm asking a friendly question." O'Neill held his palms up in a placating gesture, but Jim was so not into being placated.

"Friendly?" Jim sounded ready to break something.... probably O'Neill.

"Friendly," O'Neill repeated. "Look, I like Sandburg. He's got guts that I wish most of the scientists around here had. Sandburg and Daniel are a rarity, so I’m not looking to give him grief. Now you? I wouldn't mind ordering you to do eighty or ninety pushups."

"Whoa, hey, but there will be no ordering around, right?" Blair could hear his heart monitor suddenly ping along at a pretty fast clip.

"For crying out loud. I'm not the bad guy," O'Neill almost yelled. "I'm not interrogating you; I'm not trying to bully Ellison." He paused. "Okay, I might be trying to bully Ellison, but that's because I had a problem with his behavior in Cascade. It doesn't mean that I'm going to try and get his commission reactivated. I couldn't even if I wanted to..."

"Because he's a Sentinel." Blair watched as O'Neill rolled his eyes.

"Because he has P-chad. But you know, you and the Bethesda geeks can argue over that one. I don't care what you call it; the condition is too dangerous on the front lines where we work. I'm more interested in the source of our little info leak when it comes to my relationship with Daniel." O'Neill took a couple of steps back, and Blair could see Jim inch forward as though he wanted to get back in the colonel's face. Instead, Jim retreated to Blair's side.

"It doesn't take a Sentinel to tell that Daniel's near a breaking point with you," Jim said, and he sounded entirely too smug.

"You mean, like the breaking point Sandburg was near with you? Of course, you tried to help that along by just about breaking his ankle, didn't you?" And O'Neill did smug just as good as Jim. It was a little creepy, actually.

"Man, I thought you two were getting along," Blair said with a frown.

Jim patted his arm. "Oh Chief, this one is giving me less grief than anyone else in this place. Even the lunch lady glares at me."

"Oh man." Blair didn't even know what else to say to that.

O'Neill wasn't going to get distracted, though. "I still need an answer, Sandburg. The general doesn't want anyone else in here, including the Bethesda egghead who came to talk dissertation, until we figure out where you've gotten your information on Daniel. Daniel insists that he didn't tell you most of what you managed to blurt out while stoned on morphine, so we have a leak somewhere."

"So, you'll keep him prisoner?" Jim demanded, and that was not a good tone of voice. O'Neill and Jim glared at each other for several seconds.

"I need to find out where he got the information. Blair—" O'Neill turned away from Jim and focused right on him. "How did you know that Daniel had been angry about me ignoring Nyan?"

"Easy, Daniel called you xenophobic," Blair pointed out. O'Neill made a face, but he didn't try to deny it.

"Okay, but where did you hear about my undercover mission?"

Blair frowned as he tried to remember. "Um, someone at the warehouse?" he guessed. O'Neill didn't look convinced.

"How did you know about Linea and her virus?" O'Neill looked at him with great expectation.

Blair opened his mouth, but then he closed it. How did he know? Looking up at Jim, he found Jim staring at him strangely.

"Chief?"

Blair struggled to retrieve a memory. Nothing. He just knew about her. "Oh man, I can't remember."

"Someone must have mentioned it to him. The NID were leaking classified material all over the place," Jim quickly interjected.

But Blair was already shaking his head. He couldn't remember a name or a face, but he remembered a presence standing beside him. He remembered a moment when he went from not knowing to understanding Daniel's frustration. He couldn't remember words, but he remembered that presence. "It was a woman."

"A woman?" O'Neill demanded. "Who?"

Blair could almost hear a voice, but he couldn't find a name or a face or even a location to put with it. "She thinks you hurt Daniel," he said slowly and carefully, struggling to pull the memory out. "Sha're needed him. He should let go of need." Blair frowned, his memory like an itch at the back of his head. O'Neill was staring at him.

O'Neill took a step closer. "Who, Sandburg?"

Blair shook his head. "I don't know."

O'Neill stared at him for a second, and then rubbed a hand over his face. "Shit. You couldn't make this easy, could you?"

"Colonel?" Jim asked. The tone made the hairs at the back of Blair's neck stand on end.

"Ellison, there's something going on here. I'm not saying that anyone's at fault, but we need to figure out who's talking out of school."

"And until then, you're going to keep him isolated?"

"He's supposed to be sleeping anyway."

"He could be working with the doctor from Bethesda to get his dissertation together or calling his mother or checking in with his friends back home. He has a life." Jim's voice was sharp with anger.

"And I'll get him back to that life as soon as we can. The morphine is probably just clouding his memory."

"Guys," Blair said, but Jim and O'Neill were both pretty much ignoring him.

Jim took an aggressive step forward. "You're trying to convince us that you aren't the bad guy, but then you put Blair under orders to keep him isolated."

"Oh, not just him. I pretty much assume that anything he knows, he's told you, so both of you are under orders to stay away from all phones and outside contact." And that was O'Neill's smug voice.

"Guys..."

"You're a real asshole," Jim snarled.

"You know, if I weren't a mature person, I might say something like, 'It takes one to know one.' But I do understand your position, Ellison. I'm not trying to make this harder."

"Is anyone planning on listening to me at all?" Blair nearly shouted.

"Chief?" Jim finally turned to him.

"To get my dissertation together?" Blair asked. His brain had pretty much stopped at that part of the conversation.

Jim and O'Neill both looked at him oddly.

"The Bethesda doctors saw your research, Chief. That's why they came out to test me. Actually, they came out here to prove you were full of shit, but I think I convinced them to reconsider that." And now Jim sounded way more smug than O'Neill had. Blair was almost sorry he'd missed that show.

"But they're willing to take my research? I mean, I'm not even enrolled there."

"Sure you are," O'Neill said cheerfully. "The senses are classified material, you have top clearance, and you will be defending your dissertation at a military school where the material will remain classified. We need good people working on P-chad, Sandburg. You're the best, and even Daniel is impressed by your documentation, and this is coming from a man who would record how many steps it took to walk from the Stargate to the equator on every planet if I let him. The doctor from Bethesda just wants to talk about you adding a section where you compare Ellison to the more traditional P-chad patients and finalizing the formatting, and it looks like you're going to have a 'doctor' in front of your name faster than you thought. Of course one or two of those eggheads might hate you for poking holes in their theories, but they'll be hating Dr. Sandburg."

Jim smiled at Blair. "You deserve it, Chief. I should have encouraged you to publish before... but..."

Blair held up a hand to stop Jim. "Oh man, I hear you. You didn't want your privacy destroyed, and you so had a right to worry about that." Blair could feel hope like a bright light pulling at him. His dissertation. If he was being totally honest with himself, he'd just about given up on it. Alex had been his last chance to prove that Jim wasn't a fluke, and his relationship with Jim was so close that he had totally blown any objectivity if he wanted to do a single-subject dissertation. Years of work had pretty much gone out the window when he wasn't paying attention, and now he was getting it all back.

Jim smiled at him for a second before looking over at O'Neill. His smile quickly turned to a scowl. "I'm not worried about anything right now except O'Neill here keeping you from finishing."

"Oh for Pete's sake. He's in a hospital bed. Fraiser is an unforgiving ice queen when it comes to overworking patients, so she's not going to let you do the work here, anyway. This is not open for negotiation, Ellison. Teal'c agreed to sit in for a while, but until Sandburg remembers where he heard classified information, we need to keep an eye on him."

"Why?" Blair asked. "I mean, if I'm not talking to the outside world, then why would you have to keep an eye on me?"

"Good question." Jim crossed his arms and got that look on his face that usually made Simon pull him out of an interrogation room before he could hit someone.

"You were able to see Daniel when no one else could, right?" O'Neill asked. Blair frowned, but he nodded in agreement. "We already know there are races like the Re'tu that have other types of technology to hide their existence."

Blair hissed in a breath. "You think I saw someone else. You think someone was here, but no one else saw her." Blair looked over, and that possibility even made Jim look a little concerned.

O'Neill shrugged. "I think something strange is going on. We've swept the base, but until I know what brand of strangeness you're in the middle of, I think we need to keep a close eye on you and see if you start talking to other invisible people."

"Oh man. Okay, this is weird, even for me." Blair reached up to push his hair back from his face, trailing tubes as he moved.

"Welcome to the Stargate program, kid. Teal'c is going to keep you company for a while. Play nice, people." O'Neill backed up to the door and pulled it open. Teal'c was standing on the other side. He tilted his head to acknowledge those within, and Blair could hear Jim sigh in frustration. Unfortunately, there was no way they were going to win this fight. Besides, if Blair were perfectly honest, he didn't mind getting to spend a little time with... Blair tilted his head.

"Teal'c? That's your real name?"

"It is," the man Blair had known as Murray agreed. "It means strength."

"In alien," Jim added softly.

"Whoa. Oh yeah, the next time Jim accuses me of having a Sandburg zone just because I talk fast or get kidnapped a lot, I am so pointing out that there are stranger things in the universe," Blair said firmly. Teal'c almost smiled. Jim didn't.

23. Chapter Twenty-three

Teal'c was grateful to see that Blair Sandburg was both awake and happy to have his company. People sometimes reacted strongly to deception, and after seeing the recent conflict between Daniel and O'Neill, he had feared that his own deceit with Blair would lead to difficulties. O'Neill touched his arm briefly and then left the room.

Teal'c would have approached; however, Ellison still appeared agitated. Teal'c settled for walking to a spot near the curtain and waiting for Ellison to make some overture.

"Oh man, did it just get cold in here or is it me?" Blair asked.

"I can request additional bedding," Teal'c suggested.

"He's talking about the lack of love between us," Ellison said before he sat on the edge of his own bed. Teal'c did not understand why Ellison felt the need to point out that there was a lack of amorous feelings because, as far as he knew, no one had ever suspected or suggested there were.

"Man, is this you playing nice?" Blair asked his partner.

"Yes," Ellison quickly answered. "I haven't shot him for suggesting that I haven't taken care of my partner."

Teal'c noticed that Blair's hands fluttered as if he were disturbed by Ellison even mentioning the past. "Oh man, this is so not the time."

"Time is about all we do have," Ellison said with a sigh. A guard came into the room and took up position inside the door and Ellison went to the curtain and pulled it closed, allowing the three of them privacy. He then glared at Teal'c long enough to make it known that he wished for Teal'c to leave.

"Shit. Simon has to be climbing the wall by now," Blair sighed. It did not escape Teal'c's notice that Blair focused only on Ellison's problems. Blair had very successfully caused conflict and a clearing of the air between Daniel and O'Neill, but he appeared unwilling or unable to do the same for himself. Part of him wished to provide equally insightful truths for Blair to deal with. However, Teal'c was not certain that Blair would hear them from him. When Blair had spoken to General Hammond, the general had the authority to make O'Neill understand the depth of his fault. Teal'c did not have similar authority with Blair or Ellison.

"Until today, I was making daily reports, so he was handling it. IA is giving birth to kittens, but that wouldn't change if I were there," Ellison shrugged. "The only difference is that the military is stonewalling them so I don't have sit in an interview room and stonewall them personally."

"That is so not helping." Blair glared at Ellison, but Ellison reached over and ruffled Blair's hair as though he had said something endearing. It was a gesture Teal'c had seen O'Neill use on Daniel, and one he had used on his own son. The relationship between Blair and Ellison had clearly shifted. When Bra'tac had left without speaking to Blair Sandburg about his shamanic path or Jim Ellison and his duty on the warrior's path, Teal'c had worried. Hopefully, his worry was misplaced.

"It's not hurting. I'm probably going to end up with a suspension, so I'd rather they just get it over. That way I could be using up suspension days instead of my leave."

"At least Simon won't be nagging you to take your leave this year," Blair said with a half-smile.

"At least I won't have you dragging me off to a monastery," Ellison countered. Teal'c was not surprised that a tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah would seek the comfort of a place of reflection and religious contemplation, but he was surprised Ellison had accompanied the man. Blair smiled.

"Do you plan on just standing there all day?" Ellison asked. He turned to Teal'c, and the friendliness vanished from his tone and expression.

"Unless Blair begins speaking to a person or persons unknown, yes," Teal'c confirmed. Ellison stood, his arms tight against his body as though Teal'c had said something offensive.

"Chill. It's not like he has a choice, any more than we do," Blair said quietly. Jim stared at Teal'c for a second longer before slowly settling back onto the bed. Interesting. When Teal'c had seen them in Cascade, Ellison had appeared unwilling to take any action Blair requested, but now he appeared willing to even forgo his animosity. "Are you going to sit, because I don't mind telling you that it's feeling a little creepy having you look down on us," Blair suggested.

Visitors' chairs sat next to every bed, and Teal'c chose the one closest to Ellison's, assuming that the man would not want Teal'c near Blair. He still could not determine if his larval goa'uld disturbed Ellison or if the man simply disliked Teal'c. Teal'c had noticed that humans often developed an irrational dislike for anyone associated with an action which they found objectionable. Daniel still railed against all politicians even though it had been only Robert Kinsey who had attempted to shut down the program.

"So, you're from another planet?" Blair asked. Ellison tightened his lips into a thin line.

"I am," Teal'c agreed.

"Whoa. Seriously freaky. So, is there a significance to the tattoo?" Blair turned slightly onto his side, and Ellison got up and immediately helped to rearrange pillows and covers.

"It marks me as the First Prime, the head slave, to Apophis."

Teal'c was prepared for the wide-eyed stare from Blair. Humans often reacted so to news of Teal'c slavery.

"You were a slave?" Ellison asked, and for the first time, Teal'c noted that the man did not seem to direct anger toward him.

"I was. My people are used to incubate the immature goa'uld larva." Teal'c made no move toward his own primta, but Ellison's eyes went immediately to Teal'c's stomach.

"That's what I smell... what I hear moving around? An alien?" Ellison moved into a defensive position in front of Blair, and Teal'c was grateful that he had chosen a chair far from Blair. Blair reached out and wrapped fingers around Jim's arm.

"It cannot hurt you."

For long seconds, the room was silent, all three frozen in place. Teal'c watched Ellison for signs of a coming attack, but Ellison seemed most concerned with remaining in position between Teal'c and Blair.

"Oh man, that must suck," Blair said softly, breaking the spell that had fallen over the three of them. "All that stuff about your people... they're slave to these aliens?"

"They are," Teal'c agreed. "My own tec'ma'te was here weeks ago, but he was unable to stay and discuss the path of the tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah because Apophis had attacked and caused great damage both among those who would follow him and those who would oppose him." Teal'c watched as Blair tightened his fingers around Ellison's arm. Ellison reached over and placed his own palm on Blair's hand.

"That is... that is hard to wrap the mind around, you know?" Blair asked.

Teal'c considered that. He did not know why humans had difficulty understanding the concept of a world in slavery, but he knew that he often had trouble understanding a world that assumed the right of a person to be free. There were free worlds within the System Lord's realms, but these were worlds too worn down or too poor to bother with. And these free worlds lived under the shadow of slavery and oppression, aware that they could fall to a System Lord at any time. But in America, even sharing a planet with those who enslaved their fellow humans, the people often could not fathom a reality where slavery was far more common than freedom. Teal'c still was not sure if this self-delusion was a source of strength or weakness. It certainly gave many warriors a sense of inevitable victory, despite the fact that the System Lord and Jaffa armies outmatched them in both technology and numbers.

"Man, I guess you wouldn't know, huh?" Blair asked before Teal'c could frame a proper answer. "So, the tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah—alien shamans?"

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, pleased to enter a conversation which he felt more sure of his answers. "My people believe that one must remove the primta, the goa'uld larva before attempting the shamanic path because the goa'uld will poison the unguarded mind, but the old or those who have not yet received their first goa'uld have travelled that path."

"The goa'uld, it's a snake," Ellison said, tilting his head and squinting at Teal'c. "But it has the same poison in it that the man I shot did. Is that the naquadah they were talking about?" he asked.

Teal'c nodded.

"So it's poisoned? Why not kill it?" Ellison asked.

Teal'c measured his answer, wishing to respect Ellison's request for information since this was the first time he had engaged in conversation that was not confrontational. "I have considered it, but as I have no immune system without the primta, I would have little time to complete any work I deemed worthy of my attention. Since I wish to see my people free and the false gods destroyed, I have decided not to."

"You'd die?" Blair asked, his voice small.

"I would."

"That's whole new levels of karma," he whispered.

"It's sick," Ellison disagreed. Teal'c could not disagree with either judgment. "And now we have that thing in here until you can remember where you heard that woman talking." Ellison looked toward Teal'c, but Teal'c noticed that the man's glare was reserved for Teal'c's stomach, and no longer appeared to encompass Teal'c himself. Blair's awakening appeared to have changed something significant. Either that or one of the others had spoken words harsh enough to reach Ellison as Blair Sandburg's words had reached O'Neill through the general.

"This might take a while," Blair said, great weariness in his voice.

"You have no idea from where this information came?"

"None. I would so say if I did because the not being able to call friends is going to drive Jim up a wall." Blair gave Ellison a sympathetic look, once more ignoring any discomfort to himself.

"And what of you?" Teal'c asked. He kept his gaze on Ellison, making it clear that Ellison should have been concerned about Blair, even if Blair showed no concern for himself. Surprisingly, Ellison returned his look with none of the aggression Teal'c had expected.

Blair gave a disbelieving snort. "Right now, I'm not sure how many I have. As long as the Chancellor is out to hang my hide on the wall, most of my friends are going to avoid me just out of a healthy sense of self-preservation. I guess since I'm transferring, it doesn't really matter, but..." he shrugged, and Teal'c could tell that it did matter.

"I'm sure that's not true, Chief," Ellison hurried to say. He moved to lean against Blair's bed once again.

"Oh, it totally is. Starving students learn to be practical."

Teal'c tried to understand that logic, but when one was most vulnerable, one had to rely most on alliance and friendship. While he was willing to respect Blair's judgment in most things, on this issue, Blair appeared to be confused. "To turn your back on a friend is not practical," Teal'c said firmly.

"When it means you keep the job that allows you to eat and pay tuition, it's more practical than you think. It's not cool, but it's practical." Blair sighed.

"We'll be fine, Chief," Jim said softly. Blair let his fingers tangle with Ellison's in a touch Teal'c would have thought romantic on another, but he did not know the path of the shaman well enough to make such judgments. Ellison was an anchor to this world, a point which prevented Blair from vanishing into the void where the shaman walked. Such a relationship was not to be defined by the relationships of those who sought a connection only in the visible world.

Blair turned to him with a smile. "Where you're from, it's a lot more important to have someone watch your back, isn't it?"

"It is," Teal'c agreed.

"You need that here, too." Ellison quickly added.

"Then why did you jeopardize your claim to Blair Sandburg's loyalty?" Teal'c asked curiously. If the animosity and confrontation had vanished, perhaps Ellison could explain this phenomenon which Teal'c could not understand. However, Ellison simply stared at him, his face void of any emotion at all.

"Man, total taboo territory," Blair said softly. Teal'c's realized that it was Blair who had taken offense, and then he nodded his head, accepting that Blair had placed such topics off limits.

"God I'm going to get glad to get out of this madhouse," Ellison offered.

"Oh man, yeah, but our lives are pretty fucked up right now," Blair answered. Teal'c frowned, not understanding how their lives were damaged in any way. Blair would get recognition for his work and Ellison was no longer acting like a ha'shak.

"Just get some sleep, Chief. We'll worry about this when you're more rested." Ellison rested his hand on Blair's shoulder, and it gave Teal'c great comfort that whatever anger Ellison might have, he was no longer making Blair the target for his ire. After reading Daniel's report on how Blair reacted during the kidnapping, Teal'c was greatly concerned that the young man still needed an anchor to his world or he would get lost in his own seeking.

Blair yawned, but he also argued against sleep. "That's all I've been doing... sleeping."

Teal'c thought about Blair's words for a minute. Even when Blair had been awake, as when General Hammond had visited, he had remained more in sleep than in wakefulness. O'Neill insisted that Daniel could not carry out his threat against Blair's research notes because Blair had been drugged and half-asleep and was, therefore, not responsible for his actions or his words. Personally, Teal'c suspected that O'Neill would have found another excuse to protect Blair's notes if the young man had not been so ill out of gratitude for opening a discussion that O'Neill had failed to elicit from Daniel earlier. Neither he nor O'Neill would ever have guessed that Daniel wished to be treated less like a warrior. For Teal'c being a warrior and being respected were largely related, but Daniel wished to walk his own path where he was not warrior or shaman, but had respect while still remaining within a status that came closest to what Teal'c thought of a cha'til. A respected cha'til. The logic was confusing, but at least now Daniel and O'Neill were talking to one another without the anger that had laced their words recently. However, if Blair had been sleeping for most of his time, could he not have come across the information while asleep?

Ellison was standing over Blair, watching him with some great emotion in his eyes that Teal'c could not fully understand. He cleared his throat, waiting until Ellison looked over at him. "My people believe that a shaman may gain knowledge through dreams and meditation. Could you have learned this information while sleeping or meditating?" he asked Blair.

"While sleeping?" Jim interrupted.

Blair made a little snort. "You and spiritual things are really not on good terms," he said with a tone that suggested fondness for another's shortcomings. "But I have to agree with Jim on this one. Dreams are the brain's way of rehearsing behavior learned during the day. No way could I just make up classified information. Trust me, after seeing the weird shit you guys have around here, my imagination is not that good."

"Dreams involve neural activity," Teal'c said calmly.

"They're dreams," Ellison said curtly, his temper clearly fraying.

"Precisely," Teal'c said, intentionally misunderstanding Ellison to avoid conflict with him. Let the man wonder how to explain a truth that Teal'c already understood. Teal'c focused on Blair, standing up so that he might make eye contact with the man. However, Blair was not paying attention. Blair's eyes had lost their focus, and the machine that measured his heart steadily speeded up.

"Blair?" Jim asked, grabbing Blair's hand.

A nurse appeared at the curtain. "Is there a problem?"

"It was a woman," Blair said slowly. The nurse looked at Blair with great confusion.

"Call O'Neill," Teal'c said quietly, not wishing to disturb Blair's returning memory. The nurse turned and vanished.

Jim was now sitting on the edge of Blair's bed. "Who? You're not making sense, Chief."

"She told me that Daniel was unhappy. She wanted to teach him to be happier, but the aliens interrupted them."

"Who?" Ellison repeated. "Teal'c, is any of this making sense to you?"

"I have sent for O'Neill." Teal'c was unwilling to say more, especially since he did not understand her motivation for seeking contact with Blair. While Daniel believed in the inherent goodness of all they met, including Oma Desala, Teal'c found himself concerned with the more practical and cynical realities of meeting new beings. Bra'tac had believed her to be the great tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah of Jaffa legend, but Teal'c still found himself wondering why the woman had taken Sha're's child and why she had shown such interest in Daniel. If he were O'Neill, he might even comment on the inherent foolishness of believing in the goodness of any woman who showed interest in Daniel. The man did attract women who would make the gods themselves quake in fear.

Blair was shaking his head slowly, a look of great confusion on his face. "This woman who had light all around her, she was in my dreams." Teal'c straightened up, not sure what he could do to protect Blair Sandburg from such a powerful creature.

Ellison, however, still did not believe. "Chief, morphine was in your dreams."

"Oh man, don't I know it. And I'm writing off the talking soda bottle as total morphine-induced weirdness, but the woman was there."

"Maybe you heard some nurses talking when you were asleep. The brain could have created a fantasy around that, but O'Neill needs to know which nurses have loose lips." Jim looked at Blair, clearly begging the man to accept that as the most reasonable explanation. Teal'c frowned at the evidence that Ellison still did not understand the nature of those who walked the path of the shaman.

Shaking his head, Blair turned away from them.

"Chief?" Ellison walked to the other side of the bed so that he would, again, be in Blair's sight, but Blair was staring off at nothing, his breathing slowing.

The door to the infirmary opened. "That was fast. What'da we have, kids?" O'Neill asked cheerfully.

"I believe Oma Desala has spoken to Blair," Teal'c offered without waiting for Ellison or Blair to explain the young man's great distress. O'Neill stopped mid-stride, his face registering first shock and then a weary resignation.

"Who is that?" Ellison demanded. Teal'c noted that for all Ellison's anger, his hand was resting on Blair's arm, making it very clear that while he was unhappy, he would stand by Blair.

"Aw, crap." O'Neill ran his hand over his short hair. "You can't just overhear some chatter, no, you have to talk to an ascended spirit from another fucking plane of existence. Sandburg, heal fast. Between you and Danny, I'm turning gray way faster than I should. I'm starting to think you two should be separated by at least ten miles at all times."

"Colonel?" Jim asked. He left Blair's side to stand at the end of the bed, right between O'Neill and Blair. Teal'c remembered how Blair had once described Ellison as a Mother Hen and had discussed his overdeveloped sense of protectiveness in his papers. At the time, Teal'c believed Blair Sandburg had written what he wished to be true rather than the truth. However, right now, Ellison appeared ready to enter battle with anyone in order to defend Blair.

O'Neill sighed. "She's a being who helps people ascend. This is Daniel's shtick, not mine. Personally, the only part I care about is that these ascended beings can burn a man to a crisp without a weapon."

Blair flinched when Ellison grabbed Blair's ankle. Teal'c stepped forward to remind Ellison to show greater caution, but Ellison's fingers immediately loosened. "How do we stop her?" he asked, emotion buried under a need to act. It was a familiar emotion to Teal'c, one that he had seen on O'Neill's face a great many times. It did not denote the lack of emotion that one might assume from a cursory examination, but an overpowering emotion hidden behind the need to act.

"Good question. If I figure that out, I'll let you know," O'Neill said. His words caused Ellison to tense up even more. "Danny insists she's one of the good guys—that she would never hurt anyone because she's ascended into some plane of higher happiness where all the good little hippies go when they die."

Blair opened his mouth to say something unhappy, but Ellison tightened his hand on Blair's leg.

"However, she's not supposed to be on this planet at all. I'll need to tell the general," O'Neill finished.

Teal'c stepped forward. "She contacted Blair Sandburg through a dream. A shaman may travel without his body in dreams, so she is not necessarily on this planet." Jim and O'Neill both stared at Teal'c as if he had just suggested that the world should rotate backwards. However, Teal'c knew that his words were the truth. "Is that not true, Blair Sandburg?"

Blair stared at him, his mouth open and his face slowly darkening with a blush as Ellison and O'Neill turned to look at him.

"Teal'c, you do know that sounds crazy, right?" O'Neill asked, ignoring Blair's discomfort.

Teal'c tipped his head toward O'Neill. "She exists as energy. We have seen related phenomenon." Dr. Jackson's grandfather was only the most recent case of an alien attempting to contact humans through means that did not include spaceships or Stargates.

"But why would she target Blair? This doesn't make any sense." Jim tightened his grip on Blair's ankle again.

"Sir?" a new voice asked. Teal'c looked over to see Major Carter and Daniel standing just inside the door. "Did Blair remember something?" Carter asked.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry, Daniel," Blair quickly offered, his blush deepening. Daniel blushed himself, ducking his head. He shrugged as though Blair's words had meant nothing, but half the base had been able to hear the fight between Daniel and O'Neill that had followed General Hammond's briefing. "I'm so not even going to blame you if you screw with my research."

"I wouldn't do that," Daniel quickly interrupted, despite the fact that he had been ready to do just that when O'Neill had stopped him in the hall. Daniel's anger had turned from Blair to O'Neill in a flurry of emotions that Teal'c still did not fully understand. However, O'Neill had agreed to no longer assume Daniel was a warrior or that he was part of any command structure other than O'Neill and General Hammond--Daniel did not care what diplomats or politicians wanted. He wished for their friendship to take precedence over another's preference that he remain in ignorance. Teal'c suspected that the fight might have ended sooner had O'Neill not attempted to defend his actions during the NID investigation. In the end, O'Neill's inability to give any reasons for keeping his mission secret other than he had been given orders had caused much anger. A warrior received orders and followed them. However, as Daniel had said in a suprisingly loud voice, he was not a warrior and he would not accept such explanations. By the end of the fight, even O'Neill had been reconsidering the wisdom of following that order. Perhaps that was why he had agreed to listen more to Daniel's words. He had not agreed to act on them; in fact, he had called himself many names, including xenophobic and old, but he had agreed to listen more often.

"You were telling the truth," Daniel said, and Teal'c could tell that it hurt for him to say that.

"All well and good, and I’m glad that we aren't going to have another geek war like when Fraiser and MacKenzie were butting heads, but I'm wondering just why you think Oma Desala is poking around Sandburg's head." O'Neill looked around the room, looking for someone to explain the situation.

"Oma Desala?" Daniel asked, stepped forward so that he was at O'Neill's side. The unconscious positioning made Teal'c believe that things might be mended between them yet. The stories of his youth suggested that a shaman had great healing powers, and the evidence of that was growing.

"I don't know that I saw this woman. I know I saw a woman with lights all around her head."

"Sounds like good old Oma," O'Neill pointed out.

"Did you see a baby?" Daniel asked hopefully. Teal'c noted that O'Neill shied from that question, no doubt feeling his own failure in the fact that he had been unable to bring home either Daniel's wife or her child. Teal'c could feel his own guilt. He would give much to retrieve Sha're from death or return her child to Daniel, but he did not believe he would have a chance to do either.

"Um, no baby." Blair studied Daniel, obviously confused about why Daniel would ask, so Oma Desala was limiting the information she passed to Blair. Blair shook his head before continuing. "She was telling me about you, telling me that you were unhappy, that she wanted another chance to teach you happiness."

Daniel took a step backwards, and O'Neill's hand found his back.

"Forget it, Danny. She can't have my geek." O'Neill reached out and swiped his hand over Daniel's head, ruffling his hair.

"Knock it off, and she's probably just pissed with you for getting her temple shot up," Daniel said, retaliating with a shove. Teal'c smiled at the evidence that their old competitiveness had returned. Carter caught his eye, and she was smiling widely and not even trying to hide her happiness as she watched Daniel and O'Neill tease each other.

Jack held up his hands in mock surrender. "Me? Hey, it wasn't me that took the kid to her planet or shot up her temple."

Daniel rolled his eyes, before turning back to Blair. "What else did she say?"

Blair appeared distracted for a second. "Um, nothing. She was there, but then Incacha was, too."

Ellison turned around to face him. "Incacha? That had to have been a dream." Ellison was starting to look a little pissed, and Teal'c could see Blair squirm in response to his partner's mood.

"Maybe," Blair admitted. "It was all pretty dreamlike. Incacha was speaking English, and unless they have language classes in the afterlife, that doesn't make a lot of sense." Blair stopped, clearly unwilling to say more, and Ellison, even though his hand still rested on his partner's leg, was clearly unhappy. Teal'c turned to look, and the others were just as concerned. Daniel appeared openly angry.

"Incacha was the shaman from Peru," Teal'c said calmly in case O'Neill had not had time to read the file.

"Another shaman?" Daniel asked. "If becoming a shaman is a process similar to ascending, they might be accessing some other form of communication."

"An alternate dimension," Carter said. She stepped to O'Neill's other side. "We know there are many dimensions that we can't see, so it makes sense that there could be one that's accessible if humans could develop a sensory awareness of it."

Blair opened his mouth, but he said nothing before he again closed it.

"There are stories of shamanic rites in most cultures and on most planets," Daniel supplied.

Carter was nodding. "But what makes a person a shaman? On the planet, we know that Oma Desala was helping people ascend, so she might have exposed them to some sort of energy field, but Blair hasn't ever been exposed to her. Why could she contact him and not you directly?" she asked Daniel. That one seemed to stump Daniel.

Ellison didn't seem to care for Carter's explanation. "How do we get her to stop contacting Blair?"

"Good luck getting her to do anything," O'Neill snorted.

"Oh man," Blair breathed. When he noticed that people were looking at him, he took a deep breath. Teal'c noticed that he deliberately avoided Ellison's gaze. "Incacha passed the way of the shaman to me. I thought it was a load of crap because being a shaman takes years of study and apprenticeship, but...."

"It *was* a load of crap. I shouldn't have even translated it," Jim insisted firmly.

"What happened when Incacha passed the way to you? How did you meet him?" Carter asked. Teal'c could almost feel her curiosity like a living creature.

"He was a Peruvian shaman who taught Jim how to handle his senses." Blair cleared his throat, and Teal'c wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Ellison's hand had withdrawn. "He was in Cascade, and he was bleeding, dying. He found Jim and passed the way of the shaman on to me."

"He had no business telling you stories like that. I was an idiot for translating his stupidity," Ellison said, his voice quiet, but heavy with condemnation. Humans never failed to confuse Teal'c.

"So, this Incacha might be another ascended. If he touched Blair, that would explain it."

"It could be something blood-borne or an energy field," Carter agreed, her tone already distant as she considered the options.

Daniel was clearly just as lost in thought as Carter. "A lot of shamanic rites include an exchange of blood. It's common for the new shaman to offer his blood or his flesh."

Ellison stepped to the end of Blair's bed. "He wasn't an alien or ascended or whatever you want to call it." Ellison sounded angry now.

It was O'Neill who answered. "Ah, but how do you know?"

"I met his mother."

"Really? Did you get DNA testing on that?" O'Neill's question might have been valid, but even Teal'c could hear the sarcasm, and Ellison narrowed his eyes at the challenge. His body language screamed his desire to strike out, but at least he had Blair at his back, safely away from the direction of his anger. It just concerned Teal'c that Blair had grown so silent. The absence of Dr. Fraiser suggested that his vitals remained steady, but Teal'c was unsure that the young man's emotions were equally steady.

"Look, Ellison, Oma Desala went crawling around in your partner's brain," O'Neill said, and Teal'c noticed the shiver go through Blair. Obviously Ellison did too because he stepped back to Blair's side, and rested his hand against Blair's shoulder, close enough to Blair's face that his fingers tangled with his curls. O'Neill continued, "Why him? Who knows? But the idea that this Incacha guy might have altered Blair's energy to allow him to see something we can't... it makes sense. It makes more sense than anything else, and things that make sense make superior officers and oversight committees happy. You want them happy because they have the ultimate say about what happens around here."

"So, we go along with you or you keep us prisoner." Ellison didn't look at O'Neill. He had his eyes focused somewhere around Blair's knees.

"For the love of god! Daniel, you explain this. If I talk to him anymore, I'm going to shoot him." O'Neill threw his hands up in the air and turned his back. For a second, Daniel just blinked in shock at having the responsibility thrown to him.

"Whoa, hey, let's play nice here," Blair said before Daniel could say anything. "Man, and that's the one you get along with?" Blair demanded of Ellison.

For a second, Teal'c thought Ellison would hold onto his anger, but then the man sighed. "I told you I wasn't exactly popular around here."

"Blair, Jim," Daniel started in his most diplomatic tone, "Jack's being an ass, but he's right. We don't know how, but Blair did see me when alien energy had turned me invisible. It makes sense that he can see other beings, like Oma Desala."

"How do we turn this off?" Blair asked. Teal'c frowned at that question. A shaman did not simply turn his powers off; however, Ellison smiled at Blair as though relieved by the other's words.

Daniel looked over at Carter, but she shrugged. "I have no idea. I could do some tests and look for energy sources."

"You want to turn this off?" Daniel just sounded confused. "People spend years in meditation just trying to take the first step toward ascension."

"Do your tests," Jim answered for Blair. Blair closed his eyes and sank back into the pillow, his face even more pale than when he had first awoken.

"Will this prevent him from working with the Bethesda doctors or getting released?" Jim's voice was tight with fear.

Daniel turned around and looked at O'Neill who was now standing near the doorway. O'Neill was not pleased with how this conversation had gone. "We need to figure out if she's here or if Blair is visiting la-la land in his sleep. Teal'c, keep watch. Carter, get some equipment in here and run some scans."

"Yes, sir. I'll get a Transphase Eradication Rod set up, and I have a couple of TER's I've modified to scan for different signatures." O'Neill gave a nod, indicating his permission for her to leave. She hurried from the room. Ellison finally looked up from his examination of Blair's knees and stared at O'Neill, his body finally losing some of the stiffness that had carried it through the whole conversation, but Teal'c guessed that had more to do with resignation and weariness than acceptance. Blair's hand was clinging to Ellison's arm, so Teal'c imagined that Blair could see his partner's distress just as easily.

"The first goal is to make sure she isn’t here. If she's not, he'll have to sign an agreement that he won't reveal anything she says," O'Neill said slowly, "but he already has clearance, and he'll be working with the P-chad program which is also highly classified, so I don't see that this makes any difference. Just... keep the kid away from any good drugs because his lips are entirely too loose when he's stoned."

"No problem," Blair answered before Ellison could. "Oh man, I am so not ready to be locked up for talking to my hallucinations, so no problem at all."

"It's no fun," Daniel seconded him. Blair looked at Daniel in confusion, but the other man just shrugged without offering any other explanation. O'Neill walked over and slapped Daniel on the back, a brief contact that indicated his support. A warrior would not need such reassurance. Were O'Neill to reassure Teal'c in such a way, Teal'c would be insulted at the suggestion that he needed such gestures or concerned that O'Neill did not trust his emotional strength; however, O'Neill had agreed to stop treating Daniel as a warrior, and from the grateful look Daniel gave O'Neill, he was far more comfortable with this return to an older pattern of behavior.

"Man, no offense, but I'm exhausted," Blair told them all. "If you don't let me get some sleep, I'm siccing Dr. Fraiser on all of you."

"I'm leaving." Daniel immediately raised his hands in surrender and headed for the exit.

"Coward," O'Neill accused him.

"Yes," Daniel agreed quickly, "which is why she uses the small needle on me."

O'Neill didn't answer, but he did follow Daniel out of the room. Teal'c retreated to the far side of the room and watched. Blair's eyes were closed, but his hand still clutched Ellison's arm, and Ellison was watching Blair with confusion and affection and concern. Teal'c could understand the confusion. The rest he did not understand nearly as well.

24. Twenty-four

Fatigue pulled on Teal'c. The Eurondans and their belief in genetic purity had led him to read a number of books Daniel and Blair had recommended, and Teal'c found himself emotionally wearied by the knowledge. The people of Earth were inexplicable to him on most days, but the depth of the human capacity for cruelty had gone beyond what Teal'c had expected. The Jewish Shoah of the Nazi period was understandable, as was the Eurondan belief that they should eliminate the breeders. While Teal'c condemned both actions as deplorable, they were no different from System Lords who would destroy entire planets in order to prevent a physical trait or mutation from spreading.

Humans outside of Earth and the other protected planets were largely bred for an appearance that pleased the Goa'uld, so such things were repugnant, but not shocking or even particularly unusual to Teal'c. Apophis had once decimated an entire city because the number of albinos had grown large and people had started whispering that Ra had walked among them, touching the women and making them give birth to children whose skin was as bleached as the white robes the people would hang in the sun. At the time, Teal'c had been a warrior still learning under the tutelage of Bra'tac, so it had been Bra'tac's hand and not his own that had ended tens of thousands of lives, but had Teal'c been promoted earlier, it would have been his hand on the control crystals.

Teal'c was far too used to the idea of maintaining genetic purity. However Daniel and Blair had confronted him with dozens of other examples from Rwanda to Cambodia, Darfur to Haiti, Armenia to the Native Peoples of America. The sheer numbers and the vast range of excuses had shocked Teal'c. He often wondered how a people who carried such evil could also carry such good, but he rarely shared that thought. Teal'c had found that humans rarely appreciated being reminded that their own species could be as evil as the Goa'uld.

Siler walked by, offering a smile, and Teal'c inclined his head toward the other man. And yet, despite the great potential for evil, humans were equally as capable of good, a trait which could not be said of Goa'uld. Siler and others on this base had forgiven him the most heinous of crimes. Many times, the warriors of Earth had chosen human rights and dignity over tactical positioning. And yet again, his thoughts circled back to the Eurondans.

O'Neill had wanted the technology the Eurondans offered. He had wanted it badly, and yet he had placed the value of the breeders' lives above the strategic advantage the technology offered. The technology carried the taint of the Eurondans' sins, and yet O'Neill never hesitated to claim that Teal'c himself carried no taint. Humans were inexplicable. Teal'c wondered if O'Neill would still have made that choice had he and Daniel not reconciled. Daniel had certainly been the first to reject the spoils of such a corrupt society.

"Teal'c," Carter offered as she sat down next to him. "Long day?"

"The number of minutes remains the same," Teal'c said, not smiling. She opened her mouth to explain and then closed it again, jabbing him in the side with her elbow to let him know that she did not appreciate his humor. Teal'c enjoyed feigning ignorance with Carter because her attempts to explain often proved far more humorous than one might expect. Daniel and Blair were far more facile with words, but Carter was more amusing.

"I saw that huge reading list Daniel and Blair dropped on you."

"It was daunting," Teal'c agreed.

"It was enough to drive a sane person to anti-depressants. I need to take you on a Disney movie binge next time the colonel and Daniel have one of their nights featuring beer-drinking and arguing over stupid science fiction movies."

"I preferred Star Wars over Bambi." He had actually enjoyed Star Wars significantly more. He found himself both bored and strangely disturbed by the storyline of Bambi.

Carter shrugged. "I'll watch anything, just as long as it does not involve hundreds of dead bodies. I get enough of that at work." Carter fell silent, but Teal'c knew she was thinking of the man whom O'Neill had essentially ordered killed by having the iris closed. The Eurondan leader had been evil, and the NID would, no doubt, have found in him a likely ally if he had come through. Teal'c did not question O'Neill's decision, but he suspected that Daniel and Carter did. Rather, he had suspicions in the case of Carter. Daniel had been quite vocal in his objections. It was strange, but the more Daniel and O'Neill fought, the stronger their relationship became.

"I really hope you skipped some of those books," Carter said as she plunged her fork into the lasagna.

"I did not."

"Some days, Teal'c." She shook her head sadly. "Some days I really think you're a masochist."

Teal'c considered that. "Pain does not lead to my sexual stimulation or completion," he assured her.

She looked at him strangely for several seconds, chewing her food before swallowing. "Um, good to know." She shoved an even larger bite of food into her mouth, and Teal'c wondered if he had transgressed another taboo. He would ask Blair later.

After having the shaman around for over a month, Teal'c had found that he had grown quite used to having someone even more adept at explaining human behavior than Daniel. Daniel understood Jaffa culture better, even if Blair was quickly learning, but Blair could explain human culture in a way that Daniel could not. Blair insisted that his unconventional upbringing and anthropological training had prepared him better than an archeologist, but Teal'c did wonder if the shamanic powers of a tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah did not also influence him. However, that was a subject Blair did not wish to discuss. He claimed that he had had no more dreams, and he had even turned down Teal'c's offer to meditate with him.

Teal'c did wonder if Ellison's discomfort with the subject didn't exert undue influence on the young man's choice to not actively pursue the path of the shaman. However, that was not a path Teal'c walked, and he had no advice to offer.

"Look who's here," Carter said softly.

Teal'c watched Jim Ellison walk across the cafeteria, his eyes studying the room for a safe place to sit. That probably meant that Blair was, once again, working with the doctor from Bethesda. When Ellison's eyes met his, Teal'c inclined his head in an invitation that he did not expect Ellison to take.

"Don't..." Carter started saying, but she cut herself off when Ellison surprised them both by heading over to their table.

Walking over, he set his tray down before sinking into the chair with a weary sigh. "I promised myself that I wouldn't ever get used to military food again."

"It's not that bad," Carter said in a tone of voice that suggested she planned on disagreeing with anything Ellison said. Ellison simply pursed his lips.

Teal'c recognized small talk, and even understood Daniel's logic regarding the necessity to form connections and bonds, no matter how fleeting. However, he had no idea how to respond. On most worlds, a feast such as this would be cause for great celebration, so Daniel's suggestion that Teal'c simply agree with the person who was attempting to make small talk felt disrespectful--as though he was belittling those starving worlds and their needs. Teal'c could not do so. And while he did not wish to join Carter by shunning the man because of the stress that placed on Blair, he did not want to convey any sort of approval either. He just remained silent.

"I should go... fix something... somewhere else," Carter said, not even attempting to make her excuse sound plausible. Most of her food was untouched, but, without waiting for any sort of acknowledgment, she took the tray and dumped most of the food in the garbage before leaving.

"So, are you as pissed at me as Carter?" Ellison asked, stabbing several vegetables with considerable force.

"I am not."

"Does that mean you're even more pissed, up near Daniel-levels, or that you haven't caught this most recent case of Ellison-hatred that seems to have swept the base?"

Teal'c blinked at the metaphor of hatred as a disease. It suggested that Ellison blamed something outside himself for others' negative reactions rather than acknowledging the true source. In the weeks following Blair's injury, Ellison had admitted that his behavior was hurtful and cruel, but now he seemed blind to the more subtle forms of abuse that still defined his relationship with Blair.

"Daniel really is a mean little shit when he decides to hold a grudge," Ellison observed.

Teal'c found it amusing that Daniel had gone from pure rage at Blair for revealing his inner feelings to some sort of united kinship where Daniel felt a need to defend Blair--particularly from Jim Ellison. Of course, Teal'c did not think it wise to share that amusement, so he did not. He ate his potatoes.

"I can't wait until Blair gets discharged because this place... this is not a comfortable place to live," Ellison settled for saying. Teal'c looked around the room. Most of the personnel in here did not know or care about Ellison. The ones who had seen him with Blair tended to admire the great fondness the men had for one another, and the few who knew of Bethesda hated Ellison. The number who hated him was very small, but it was a group dedicated and united in their dislike. Teal'c frowned as it occurred to him that Ellison did not usually talk this much to anyone other than Blair or the men to whom he placed calls. Either Ellison was feeling particularly isolated and in need of making a connection, or he was trying to gain information.

"The animosity is significant," Teal'c agreed, watching Ellison's reaction. The Sentinel stopped with his fork half-way to his mouth.

"Thank you." The tone actually sounded sincere.

"For what do you owe me gratitude?" Teal'c asked curiously.

"You said something honest. I keep asking Daniel why he's acting like such a shit, and he won't say two words. He was in that hospital bed next to Blair for a week with that appendicitis of his, so I thought he'd warm up at some point."

Teal'c considered that. During his recovery, Daniel had started making complimentary comments about Ellison. When Teal'c and O'Neill had visited him after his appendectomy, Daniel had made pointed suggestions about how O'Neill would serve him as Ellison did Blair if they were real friends. O'Neill had thrown a Nerf ball at Daniel's head. However, he would expect Daniel's animosity to deepen and harden with more recent events.

"Daniel is most unhappy with you," Teal'c agreed, believing that the concessions Ellison had made to Blair's physical wellbeing deserved that much honesty.

Ellison ate in silence for several minutes, but Teal'c could read discomfort in the man's every gesture.

"So, why is it that Jackson so pissed with me?" he finally asked.

Teal'c was not sure how to answer the question without causing strife. Quite frankly, Teal'c agreed with Daniel's dislike for Ellison. Blair was entirely too willing to put his own needs aside for those of his partner, and Ellison did not appear to honor that sacrifice. And now that Teal'c knew them better, that confused him even more. Ellison was not Blair's tec'ma'te. He was not Blair's lover or co-parent, he was not a blood-brother or one to whom Blair had sworn allegiance. And yet, Blair would give up his own goals in order to assist Ellison in achieving his own. Were Blair to show such loyalty to Teal'c, Teal'c would focus all his energy to making sure that Blair did not neglect his own needs in his desire to serve another. Ellison's focus on Blair appeared limited to his attention to Blair's physical well being. Apparently Blair and Ellison both believed their relationship was intimately tied to their roles as Sentinel and guide, but Blair's description of the purpose of a guide had led to a very unfortunate discussion of slavery which had upset Blair to such an extent that Teal'c had dropped the subject.

Ellison sighed and thunked his elbow on the table. "Normally I don't really give a shit what people think about me, but would you like to explain why in the last week, everyone has decided, again, that I'm an ass?" Ellison carefully placed his fork on the tray with the exaggerated caution of a man who wanted to throw it.

Teal'c knew that Daniel had promised Blair that he would say nothing, but Teal'c had not given that vow. "I believe everyone thinks Blair should go to Bethesda."

Ellison frowned. "Those eggheads are giving him shit. Why should he go if he doesn't want to?"

Either Ellison was very foolish or he had elevated self-deception to godhood. "I do not believe his desire is in question," Teal'c said. Blair had attempted to tell Teal'c that he was just tired of schooling, but Teal'c had quickly decided that Blair was a very poor liar.

"What?" Ellison leaned forward, and Teal'c decided that it was Ellison's intelligence that was in question because he very obviously did not know what Teal'c meant.

"I believe Blair does wish to go. Daniel informs me that the school has enrollment and research requirements that would require his presence for at least one semester, and Blair is unwilling to leave your side."

Ellison sat up straight so fast that Teal'c could not prevent himself from searching for an enemy worthy of such an extreme reaction. "No. No, he wouldn't throw away this chance just because he'd have to do one semester somewhere." Ellison said the words, but from his tone, he did not even believe the words himself. Teal'c just looked at the man, watching as Ellison's shock slowly turned to a narrow-eyed anger. "He wouldn't. He won't." Ellison shoved his tray back and was up and out of the room so fast that several airmen had to scramble to get out of his way.

Leaving his remaining food, Teal'c followed, not sure how Ellison would react. While he had been nothing but solicitous with Blair's health since arriving in Colorado, Teal'c could not forget the casual cruelty Ellison had shown in Cascade. If Ellison returned to his old patterns of behaviors, Teal'c would not allow him to harm Blair again.

"Teal'c?" Sergeant Collins asked as he plastered himself to the side of the hallway, attempting to not get struck by Ellison and his precipitous flight through the halls.

"Request that O'Neill come to Sandburg's quarters," Teal'c asked as he hurried after Ellison. By the time Ellison reached the visitor's quarters adjacent to the infirmary, he was showing signs of great anger. He pushed the door to Blair's room open so hard that it hit the wall and rebounded.

"Chief, what the hell are you thinking?" Ellison demanded loudly.

"Jim." Blair had been sitting at a table littered with books and reports, the gray-haired doctor from Bethesda sitting across from him, but now Blair stood up and clung to the back of his chair. "Hey, man. I thought you were going for lunch."

"When did you plan to tell me?" Ellison demanded loudly.

Blair blushed and looked around the room, his eyes lingering on Teal'c and the doctor. "Probably not the time, man," Blair said. His hands reached up as if to brush away his hiar, a nervous gesture Teal'c had noted many times, but this time Blair had pulled back his hair, so his hands simply fluttered for a moment before returning to clutch the chair.

"We need to talk," Ellison said. He stepped forward, but instead of physically crowding Blair, he closed in on the doctor from Bethesda, looming over the older man. "If you'll excuse us." Ellison's voice was tightly controlled, but even the gray-haired doctor who walked as though he had never faced an enemy in his life recognized the danger.

"I should... yes, there are many... um... documents..." he started stammering.

"Oh man, so not cool. Back off, Jim," Blair snapped. And Ellison did; he backed away several steps, but his anger was still coiled beneath his skin, so strongly that Teal'c feared to leave Blair alone with him. Blair might be mending, but he was not fully healed yet.

"No, I really should go. I shouldn't push so hard when you're... um... yes, I'll go." The doctor grabbed several papers and fled past Teal'c.

"What the fuck is your problem, Ellison?" Blair demanded, his own anger flaring.

"My problem? You think I have a problem?" Ellison spoke each word with great deliberation. "You need to have your head examined."

"Pot and kettle," Blair sing-songed back at the man, and Teal'c watched as Ellison fought back an urge to yell. Had Daniel shown such sarcasm and disrespect for O'Neill, there would have already been much yelling. However, while shouting at Daniel caused him to shout back, Blair's reaction to such aggressive communication tended to vary widely. Teal'c had seem him explode in rage and withdraw in great pain. And as of yet, Teal'c had not determined the pattern for the reactions; however, Ellison's control did suggest that he was mindful of his partner. Even more, Ellison's actions suggested that it was not he who had encouraged Blair to turn down the offer from Bethesda.

"You turned down Bethesda because of me." Ellison physically backed up a step, his hands still tightly clenched, but Blair ignored the warning signs.

"Get over yourself. Man, you are not the center of the universe. Did it occur to you that I might have my own reasons? Oh wait, I told you my reasons, but hey, if you want to fucking ignore me, go right ahead." Blair flung an arm out, his palm facing Ellison. "You're the fucking expert on ignoring what I say."

Ellison had already physically withdrawn, and now Teal'c watched as the man emotionally retreated. His face became a careful mask of indifference that poorly hid the strong emotions beneath.

"Chief, tell me you didn't turn them down because they wanted to you move to Maryland for one fucking semester." Ellison chose words to express great anger, but his tone was oddly unemotional.

"I didn't turn them down because they wanted me to move to Maryland," Blair echoed sarcastically, but his words only reinforced Teal'c's conclusion that Blair was a poor liar. "Teal'c, maybe you could give us some privacy?" Blair asked, turning to Teal'c with a pleading expression.

For a half-second, Teal'c considered the request, but the situation was volatile, and to retreat leaving Ellison and Blair alone seemed foolish. "I am awaiting O'Neill's arrival," Teal'c said, tacitly refusing the request.

Anger flashed across Blair's face. "Fuck. Save me from alpha dogs and their fucking alpha dog games. God forbid someone have an opinion that doesn't match theirs." Blair attempted to head for the door, and Teal'c watched in confusion as Ellison's face contorted with pain for a brief second.

Sidestepping, Teal'c blocked the doorway.

"Chief, we need to talk," Ellison said firmly, taking advantage of the fact that Blair could not pass.

"Man, no we don't. I told you. I am sick of academic games. Ventriss is the tip of a huge, fucking iceberg and I don't feel like putting up with it anymore. Do you want me to write up my statement and have it notarized?"

Clearly this time Blair had chosen fury and counter-attack as his response, but Teal'c frowned at the path he chose. The mention of Ventriss caused Ellison great shame; it was a subject Blair normally went to great lengths to avoid. However, he now brandished the name as a weapon. Likewise, the accusation that Ellison did not listen seemed to have struck Ellison far deeper than a random comment should. Teal'c studied Blair—the way he faced Ellison with his lips pressed tightly together. Blair was attacking. This was more than random anger; he was targeting Ellison's most vulnerable spots.

"So, this doesn't have anything to do with you spending a semester away from Cascade?" Ellison's back was stiff with tension, but Teal'c watched another shift as Blair now retreated. The angry glare and tight mouth softened into something more uncertain.

"You need to get back to work." Blair said no more, but the tone of the conversation changed so dramatically that Teal'c wondered what he was not hearing. Clearly these two had the same sort of abbreviated communication Teal'c had once enjoyed with Bra'tac, but that sort of verbal intimacy left others stranded when trying to understand.

"Yes, I do," Ellison agreed. "I'm about out of leave, but that doesn't mean you can't go to Bethesda."

"You want us to split up." Blair said the words with great anger, but his body spoke of fear and pain.

"For a semester, if we have to," Ellison agreed.

"Fine." Blair spoke the word and turned his back on Ellison to concentrate on the table and the assorted reports. "I'll go."

O'Neill approached from the far end of the hall, his face registering confusion as he caught the end of their conversation. "So, what's up?" O'Neill asked with a casual tone that hid something far sharper. He looked around the room. Teal'c knew what O'Neill would take note of. Ellison stood against the far wall, his arms crossed over his chest in anger. Blair leaned against the table, his body stiff with anger, and the two men were not looking at each other. Blair studied the notes; Ellison stared at a blank wall with great intensity.

"You okay, Sandburg?" O'Neill asked when both men ignored his first question.

"Fine," Blair barked in the worst lie Teal'c had heard yet. O'Neill looked over at him, and Teal'c could only raise an eyebrow to indicate that he also questioned the honesty of such a statement.

"Ellison?" O'Neill asked.

"Just have a problem with a partner who's an idiot," Ellison answered.

That made O'Neill frown in surprise. "Sandburg's a pain in the ass and almost as much of a trouble magnet as Danny, but idiot isn't the first word that comes to mind."

"He's not going to Bethesda because he thinks I need babysitting," Ellison glared at Sandburg as if daring him to disagree, but Blair kept his eyes focused on the data the Bethesda doctor had brought on others who had suffered from periods of heightened senses.

"Oh no, I'm going," Blair said without turning around. "You are so on your own, man."

Daniel appeared, hurrying down the hall. Clearly the story of Ellison's anger had reached him because he was moving far more quickly than usual. Usually Daniel walked and read a book at the same time, which had caused some interesting moments when he had lost track of his position within the base and walked into the wrong room. The women never would have believed anyone else who had walked into the women's locker room supposedly by accident, but Daniel was so well known for his habit of walking and reading that no one had questioned him. This time, however, he was walking with strides as purposeful as if the alarms were sounding.

"Blair?" Daniel asked as soon as he reached the door. Blair's shoulders sagged. "What's going on?"

Ellison stepped forward. "Did Blair tell you that he was giving up the Bethesda offer because he wouldn't leave me?"

Daniel ducked his head in guilt. Rather than reassure his friend, Blair scowled at Daniel and mouthed the word 'traitor' at him.

"Hey, let's not go throwing around words that will make us all want to kill each other again," O'Neill hurried to say. He also moved a step closer to Daniel, touching the man's arm lightly. "I've actually gotten used to thinking of everyone in this room as a decent human being. Besides, I'm way too old and cranky to have to change my mind again."

"This is my life." Blair turned his back on the table and faced the room.

"It's your life you're throwing away, you mean," Ellison said. The presence of others seemed to embolden him and he stepped forward. "You've worked years for your doctorate. Are you really going to throw it away because you don't think I can handle myself for six months?"

"Wait," Daniel interrupted before Blair could answer. "You want him to go?" he demanded of Ellison. Ellison gave him a withering look that left Daniel clearly confused. In one way, Teal'c found the confusion comforting. His inability to understand Ellison and Blair was clearly not because of his own incomplete knowledge of human culture and language. On the other hand, he wished Daniel understood well enough to offer advice. However right now, neither O'Neill nor Daniel looked capable of offering advice.

"Of course I want him to go," Ellison answered.

"But... then why wouldn't you go?" Daniel asked Blair directly. It was a valid question.

"This is so not your business," Blair snapped.

"No, but it's mine," Ellison jumped in. "Damn it, Blair, you come wading in after me when you should be taking care of yourself. You pull yourself out of a hospital bed to come traipsing around Mexico, and it almost killed you. That gunshot nearly killed you because you didn't let yourself recover from the pneumonia. And now you're throwing away over a decade of work because you think you have to be glued to my side?" Ellison took another step forward so that he was almost chest to chest with Blair.

"I thought you needed backup, that you needed a partner," Blair said, but instead of retaliating with anger, now he was withdrawing. Some switch had been flipped, and now Ellison pressed his advantage.

"I do need a partner, but I need a permanent partner, not someone who can ride with me only as long as Simon can find excuses to keep the paperwork going."

"Oh, so I haven't done enough to make myself available to you?" Blair asked, the sarcasm surging back.

"Damn it," Ellison swore and then rubbed his short hair. "Guys, maybe you could give us a little privacy?" Ellison asked as he looked at Teal'c and Daniel and O'Neill. They had all crowded in, and given the small size of Sandburg's room, it was an uncomfortable fit.

"Oh, I don't think so," O'Neill said, so clearly not trusting these two in a room alone.

"I'm out of here," Blair said, and he darted between Daniel and O'Neill with far more agility than Teal'c expected from one still recovering from an operation. However, Blair did not move nearly fast enough to get around Teal'c and out of the room. "Oh, come on, man. I am not a prisoner here."

Teal'c looked at O'Neill for direction. O'Neill looked to Daniel, and Daniel just looked confused.

"Look, let's just sit down and talk this out," O'Neill finally suggested.

"Nothing to talk about," Blair said as he turned to face the room. "Jim has made up my mind for me."

"That wasn't what I was trying to do, Chief. I just don't want you giving up something this important." Ellison took a step forward, lifting his arm to reach for Blair before aborting the gesture.

"Hey, call me a selfish bastard for not putting the Sandburg and Ellison show at the top of my priority list, but is anyone thinking about the hundreds of men whose lives are at risk because of these damn senses?" O'Neill asked, neatly avoiding the difficult topic of power and how it lay between Ellison and Blair. "You give up this research, and people will die," he added, shamelessly appealing to Blair's more altruistic nature. Teal'c could tell from the way Blair flinched back that the attack had hit home.

"No way. I'm giving Dr. Nichols all my research," Blair quickly defended himself, his hands held up in surrender.

Now Daniel joined in, following O'Neill's lead, once again working in a partnership that Teal'c had not seen since the death of Daniel's wife. "Blair, as long as you're ABD, they're going to ignore everything you say. You don't have the status to challenge the people at the top, but if you defend your dissertation, that's when you'll earn the right to redefine these senses."

"Like you convinced people that aliens built pyramids?" Blair asked in the most blatant attack Teal'c had seen him use against anyone other than Ellison. "I so don't need that kind of grief." O'Neill reached out and touched Daniel's arm, but Daniel was already laughing.

"Okay, one or two doctorates do not give you the ability to change the world or convince people that aliens are real. That's true. But the right people listened. If I hadn't gotten that doctorate in archeology, do you think the Stargate program would have looked at me twice? Blair, I had a chance to walk into an alternate reality. I saw what happened when I wasn't here to change the course of history, and that was a future I would not want for this world. If you walk away from this, do you know what kind of future you're creating?"

"I do," O'Neill offered. "Without you to teach covert ops commanders how to deal with this, some stupid kid is going to have his senses go haywire, and he's going to reveal his team's position. Men will be tortured. Men will die," O'Neill said with great quietness and intensity. "Some team leader is going to make a mistake and end up killing a teammate while trying to keep him from scratching his own skin off and screaming. That's the future you're creating by not finishing."

Teal'c watched as Blair folded in on himself, seeming to lose inches as he retreated from this. Ellison stepped forward, his hand going to the small of Blair's back.

"That is not Blair's responsibility." Ellison sounded most angry with O'Neill. Teal'c raised an eyebrow in confusion. O'Neill had been attempting to reinforce Ellison's own position, but now Ellison had apparently changed positions.

"No, he's right," Blair said. Teal'c raised his other eyebrow. "When I started this research, I wanted to help people, but Jim..." Blair stopped and pulled the tie out of his hair so that long curls fell around his face only to have him push the hair back nervously. "They want me to work with Sentinels."

"Oh." Ellison sounded calm, but the hand he had placed against Blair's back slowly curled until he was fisting Blair's sweatshirt.

"And, but... so?" O'Neill asked in exasperation.

"Jack," Daniel said softly, warning the colonel away from the conversation.

"Daniel?" O'Neill asked.

Daniel glared at him and, in return, O'Neill gave him an inquisitive look. Clearly the man had not read the briefing notes Daniel had prepared on the conflicts between Alex Barnes and Blair Sandburg.

"What?" O'Neill demanded, ignoring Daniel's warning. Ellison slipped his arm around Blair's shoulders, but Blair simply stood up straighter.

"Man, last time I worked with a Sentinel who wasn't Jim, I ended up dead. So not cool. And I do not plan on doing that ever again, at least not until I'm about a hundred and three and too arthritic to care."

"Am I missing something?" O'Neill asked, looking around the room. "This was the crazy woman with the prison record, right?"

Perhaps Teal'c was wrong. O'Neill did seem to have read Daniel's report.

"Oh yeah," Blair said softly while Ellison gave a terse, "Yes."

"So... you think soldiers are going to go criminally insane at the sight of you and try to shove your head in a fountain?"

"Jack!" Daniel snapped with such fury that O'Neill looked away from Blair and looked at Daniel. "That was not worded well," Daniel said, giving O'Neill a look that would, as the old saying went, frighten a man out of completing his urination. While Daniel might not wish for his teammates to think of him as a warrior, he was no cha'til to stand by and allow the elders to act.

Daniel took a step forward. "Blair, I can understand that you might be wary..."

"Chief, just tell them that you won't work with any affected soldiers," Ellison interrupted. Daniel glared at him.

"Oh man, I wish I could, but I have to replicate the level of initial control you showed in order to prove that Sentinels can bring their senses down to tolerable levels. So not cool. I mean, I could just explain it, but even Dr. Nichols is like way too suspicious of all this to get involved... not until I've proven my theories."

"So, you aren't just afraid to leave me on my own for a few months?" Ellison asked, and Teal'c could not tell if that tone was hopeful or disappointed. Ellison was skilled at hiding his emotions.

Blair shrugged. "There are way too many reasons to not go."

Teal'c did not understand humans or Sentinels or the shamanic path, but he did know many stories of those who were tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah. He took a step forward. "Blair Sandburg," Teal'c began formally, "what path does your heart tell you is the correct one?"

Blair stared at him with wide eyes that blinked with such rapidity that Teal'c was certain that Blair hid something. He tilted his head, inviting Blair to confide in the group who had assembled.

"I..." Blair looked over at Ellison.

"Chief, I don't want you to give up your dreams. Remember that conversation you had with Teal'c the other day? You talked about dedicating your life to this Sentinel stuff, and he asked you the difference between being a guide and being a slave. That's..." Ellison stopped, the muscle on the side of his jaw bulging for a second. "Chief, that's not a good feeling for me. I feel like—"

"No way. No fucking way. That is not how it is," Blair cut him off. He turned and rested his palm against Ellison's stomach. Ellison laid his own hand on top of Blair's trapping it.

"Blair," Daniel said softly, "it would be one or two semesters. The way you tear through work, probably one. And after that, you can make some choices. You could train officers out of McChord or take research assistants of your own and train them in how to deal with Sentinels while you walked away from the military."

Teal'c watched, but he had no doubt which path Blair Sandburg would take. Ellison reached around Blair, hugging him closely to his chest in a display of affection. Teal'c averted his eyes, allowing Ellison and Blair some privacy. However, O'Neill and Daniel did not do the same. They watched. O'Neill's face was full of calculating curiosity, but in Daniel's eyes, Teal'c could read the loneliness and pain. Humans were so odd. They required much more privacy than a Jaffa would ever dream of, and yet they allowed so little privacy to others in their daily lives. Clearing his throat, Teal'c turned his body to allow Ellison and Blair more privacy.

Daniel looked over and caught his eye. For the first time in many months, Daniel graced Teal'c with a small smile, just enough to let Teal'c know that Daniel did understand what Teal'c was thinking, just enough to suggest that maybe Daniel might still find a way to forgive Teal'c for the death of Sha're. "Come on, Jack," Daniel said, shoving at O'Neill's arm to get his attention. "You were going to annoy me with fish stories as I tried to translate the hieroglyphs on the altar from P3X-491."

Daniel herded O'Neill from the room, and O'Neill allowed himself to be herded. Teal'c followed, closing the door to Blair's quarters behind him. He could only hope that the young shaman was making the right choice. It bothered Teal'c that he was following the path of science since shamanism and science were rarely associated in American culture, but a tao qua ca tec'ma'te i cal mah's heart would not lead him astray. If Blair's heart told him that he had to walk this path, Teal'c would trust that.

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